Monday's Picks

Because the best way to feign actual knowledge on a subject is an accurate prediction, I introduce The Picks. Every weekday, Monday-Thursday (hopefully) I will pick the televised games of the night, against the spread of course, and follow the results to see if I actually know something about basketball. The results should be both entertaining (for readers) and soul-crushing (for me). And if I'm wrong, I'll just do what all the TV "experts" do: never bring it up again and avoid all accountability. And since I won't be betting actual money (that often), I win every time!

I'll also be occasionally picking against one of my roommates, Craig, so we can have a rational method of settling all disputes involving rent, household matters, etc.

Last Week: After going 1-3 on Thursday, the worst slate of TV basketball games in modern history, Marquette got me a win in that weird Friday night game to salvage a 6-8 week. Still above .500 for the season -- which is impressive I suppose given how ass-backwards this year has been -- but momentum was indeed lost.

Georgetown (-5) at Providence- I have absolutely no idea why this game is being played at 4 p.m. Yes I know it's President's Day and all that but 4 p.m. on a Monday is just an awful time to play basketball and no President besides this asshole would allow such atrocities to stand. At first glance, this looks like a no-brainer in the Hoyas' favor, but I'm not so sure. Georgetown has been completely unable to score lately, will be making a long trip up North at a weird time (unless they just stayed up there after the Cuse game), will be on one day rest after a beatdown and while Providence has lost seven of its last eight, it played Louisville tough Saturday at the Bakery. I'd like to think JT3 will have some sort of motivational, post-loss thing that good coaches are supposed to know about, but if he doesn't, the Hoyas' will be in a dogfight. ALL that being said, Providence's porous D is great for what ails ya; I think G'Town covers and takes a small step back to relevancy.
The Pick: Georgetown

Syracuse at Louisville (-10.5)- Just when I thought the season was over, my Cuse totally redeemed itself with the blowout of Georgetown Saturday.... And they did it just in time to get destroyed by the Cardinals (I hate sports). Seriously, this is not a good situation for the Orange. Even though the line is pretty high, the four or so players they have left only have one day rest against Louisville, which has like a 16-man rotation. The Cardinals should dominate the boards, tire out Jonny Flynn, even though he may be a robot, with relentless ball pressure and force a ton of turnovers. Unless like half of the 36 threes Donte Greene will inevitably attempt go in or Louisville has one of its disastrous shooting nights, I don't think this will be close. And I HATE picking against my favorite team so you know I'm pretty serious about this one.
The Pick: Louisville

Texas A & M at Texas (-4)- The Aggies debacled the Longhorns in the first meeting even though they suck. They just lost to Oklahoma State and I have to think the win over Texas was just a result of home court (the home team has won the last eight in this series). We saw how much better Texas looks at home when they knocked off Kansas, but I am a bit worried that DJ Augustin and Justin Mason both played 40 minutes in that near catastrophe at Baylor Saturday. If the Ghost of DeAndre Jordan decides to make an appearance tonight, the Aggies might be able to take advantage of their superior size and pull an upset, but I doubt it.
The Pick: Texas

Gonzaga (-8) at San Diego- The West Coast Conference IS Big Monday. Seriously, they are on more than the Big East I think. And it's a good thing because the race for the WCC title is surprisingly tight. In fact, if the Toreros win tonight they will be in first place and the almighty Zags will be stuck in third. Whale's Vagina's only league loss was a 10-point defeat at Gonzaga a month ago and it has beaten St. Mary's at home this year. The WCC always has great crowds and this should be a shitshow tonight. If you thought UAB fans were felonious, wait till you see what these stoned surfers can do when they channel an actual human emotion besides irony toward something. (I'm stoked... or something.) I still think Gonzaga wins but the line is pretty high for an important game in this league. I'll take San Diego with a parlay that ESPN will show the (SD freshman) Rob Jones Is Grandson of Crazy Cult Person Jim Jones (-175) at some point during the broadcast.
The Pick: San Diego

Last week's record: 6-8
Overall record: 31-28-4

ACC: 5-7
Big 12: 4-6-2
Big East: 8-5-1
Big Ten: 5-4
SEC: 4-2
Missouri Valley: 1-0
West Coast: 3-1
Big West: 0-1
CAA: 0-1
Horizon: 0-0-1
A-10: 1-1

Craig's record: 15-17-2