Thursday's Picks

Because the best way to feign actual knowledge on a subject is an accurate prediction, I introduce The Picks. Every weekday, Monday-Thursday (hopefully) I will pick the televised games of the night, against the spread of course, and follow the results to see if I actually know something about basketball. The results should be both entertaining (for readers) and soul-crushing (for me). And if I'm wrong, I'll just do what all the TV "experts" do: never bring it up again and avoid all accountability. And since I won't be betting actual money (that often), I win every time!

I'll also be occasionally picking against one of my roommates, Craig, so we can have a rational method of settling all disputes involving rent, household matters, etc.

Last night: My slide continues with another 1-2 night. I suppose just being above .500 this season should be considered a miracle. Duke (-11.5) beat Maryland by 12, even though the closing line was 12 and would've gotten me a push. I guess that's what I get for gambling so early in the morning. The Devils just continue to make threes at an alarming rate, which had even Dickie V and The Corpse of Mike Patrick playing the whole "live by the three, die by the three" thing. Clearly an attempt to brainwash the youth of America and feed off their fresh, spotless brains in order to live eternally. Clearly.... OKAY, moving on... In the game that no one on the planet watched (I think it was being announced by Dana Jacobson), Cincinnati (-6.5) destroyed St. John's. I picked the Bearcats but gain no satisfaction from doing so. Actually, I feel like I just rolled off a cheap hooker.... OKAY, moving on... Michael Beasley and Kansas State (-2.5) suffered a pretty bad set-back last night, initially getting blown out by the Little General Pat Knight and his spunky Red Raiders, then making the game close and then losing in poor fashion. Bob Knight was in attendance and said he was inspired by the game, both by his son's first coaching win and Frank Martin's impressive ability to make his own players poop their pants and then mercilessly mock them for it.

North Carolina State at Boston College (-4.5) - OK this is hands-down the worst night of televised basketball this season and I don't see it ever being topped in suckiness. Of the eight teams in action only two (West Virginia and UMass) have even the slightest chance at making the Dance. Thankfully it's a holiday, so ESPN has an excuse but these all get the DO NOT WATCH THIS GAME disclaimer. That being said, we still have to make a pick. The road team has fared well in this series lately and I have a hard time believing a BC team that has lost six straight should be giving my senior year intramural team 4.5 points, let alone a slightly improving Wolf Pack squad. I'll take NC State. That was painless.
The Pick: North Carolina State

Rutgers at West Virginia (-18.5) - Huggy's bunch has lost its last two at home and have been completely unable to score any points lately (see: 39 at home vs. Cincinnati). Rutgers sucks a whole lot. But the Scarlet Knights do have some size which seems to give the Mountaineers problems. Oh and not seeing strippers, that's problematic for them too.
The Pick: Rutgers

Michigan at Iowa (-7) - The Hawkeyes have inexplicably dominated the Wolverines lately, if you consider "assaulting the backboard less" as dominating. And even though they haven't been very good at home this season (or anywhere on Earth, for that matter), Iowa still won by eight at Michigan so I don't see any reason for them not to cover at home (which of course, means Michigan will win outright). Final score: Iowa 39, Michigan 30.
The Pick: Iowa

Fordham at Massachusetts (-11.5) - I remember some talk -- let's call it "phooey" -- in the preseason, about Fordham supposedly being an A-10 contender or something. In that case, I can't completely rip ESPN for scheduling this game... But I'm going to do so anyway. Why in the flying fuck would this game, of all the A-10 games you can show to fill whatever the TV contract stipulates, be selected for national TV? Even UMass, once a seemingly sure bet for the NCAAs has lost four of its last six and should be NIT-bound at this point. Fordham plays extremely slow and the Minutemen have been appropriately nicknamed this season as they, ahem, like to finish quickly. No way Fordham keeps up.
The Pick: Massachusetts

Last night's record: 1-2
Overall record: 29-25-4

ACC: 5-6
Big 12: 3-6-2
Big East: 7-5-1
Big Ten: 5-3
SEC: 4-2
Missouri Valley: 1-0
West Coast: 3-1
Big West: 0-1
CAA: 0-1
Horizon: 0-0-1
A-10: 1-0

Craig's record: 15-17-2