The Week in Chaos, February 19: Beasley Reigns, Sampson Survives, Tar Heels Might Fall But Probably Not

Karate chop those allegations Kelvin!

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 2 of this week's edition with part 1, on Texas A & M sucking, Georgetown cheating and Duke humanizing, here. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity. That and I want to make it look like I post more.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance- Sure Missouri is a team decimated by various forms of strife and, as a result, are near the bottom of the Big 12, but that's what we said the last time the Tigers played Kansas State. Without five of their players, Mizzou beat Kansas State just a few days after the Wildcats beat Kansas. Beasley and his boys were a little more focused this time around. B-Easy went for 40 and 17 in just 27 minutes (don't even bother doing the math, your brain will explode) and K-State won by 37. Coach Frank Martin, Crazy Person, still whipped one of his players' nuts with a car antenna, but after seeing the margin of victory, he apologized. Good for him. The Cats forced 24 turnovers, Beasley made five more free throws, scored just 23 fewer points and had just six fewer reboundsthan the entire Missouri team. He then scolded himself for missing 10 shots. When a player scores 40 against someone and he feels as though he underperformed, he is not just being hard on himself. He is indirectly telling the opponent that they do not deserve to share the same plane of existence as him. Nebraska, you're up next, take notes.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- Everyone got their panties in a bunch over Indiana's throttling of Michigan State Saturday night. "What a statement game," people who I refuse to associate myself with are undoubtedly saying. If your statement is, "We can get a home win over a school that has lost to Penn State, Iowa and a D-II team with our coach's job on the line and the most raucous crowd of the season," well then yes, I suppose you made that statement. Now allow me to state that I can beat up most babies. I mean, good for Indiana, good for Eric Gordon who had 28 points and good for Kelvin Sampson who staved off the electric chair (or at least stoning by corn cob) for one night, but you won a home game against an equal team. That's what NCAA Tournament teams are supposed to do. Just because this particular season is void of more than say, eight teams that fit that description, doesn't mean the Hoosiers are headed to San Antonio. Especially when that win was their first notable victory of the season.

Foreshadowing of Chaos, Brought To You by Doom, Powered by The Book of Revelations- New feature where I look ahead to the new poll and predict some kind of insane display of mediocrity to occur. A success rate of more than five percent would be nice here. North Carolina will lose at NC State tonight. If you want a breakdown of the game, still replete with snark, read today's picks. Basically with the Lawson injury, NC State suddenly matches up pretty well with UNC. The Heels enormous advantage at point guard, the Pack's biggest weakness, is mostly erased and NC State's size and athleticism should make buckets hard to come by for UNC's similar parts. Look at the match-ups: Courtney Fells vs. Wayne Ellington; Gavin Grant vs. Marcus Ginyard; JJ Hickson vs. Tyler Hansbrough; Ben McCauley vs. Deon Thompson. I certainly don't see a huge advantage for the Heels. Will all that, plus homecourt, be enough to erase the 31 points NC State lost by in the first meeting? Who knows? The whole point of this post is that college basketball is insane! Weee! Other potential exhibits of awfulness: Xavier losing to Duquesne tomorrow night, Connecticut losing at Villanova Saturday, Wisconsin falling at Illinois tonight.