Bob Knight To Begin TV Career Today, Many Encouraged To Care

In case you aren't yet concussed from ESPN bludgeoning you over the head with it, Bob Knight will make his TV debut tonight on ESPN. I guess he did Mike and Mike this morning (video), which is why I'm surprised he hasn't quit already, but he'll show up on SportsCenter and then be in studio between the two Big East games tonight.

Apparently this is supposed to interest me.

What exactly is Bob Knight going to do on television that thousands of boring TV analysts have done before? The only people in the history of sports television that I have actually enjoyed watching sit in a chair and talk are Charles Barkley, Johnny Miller (for golf), Gus Johnson and Marv Albert. If I knew any of those people would be on the air speaking about an event, my interest in said event would rise. Minimally. And that's it. Here's what a segment with Bob Knight will sound like:

Rece Davis/Karl Ravech/Random Boring Guy X: So Bob, you coached in the Big 12, which teams still have work to do to get in the Tournament?

Bob Knight: Well, I think Kansas State, Oklahoma Texas A & M all can't afford to lose a game and still expect to get in.

Rece Davis/Karl Ravech/Random Boring Guy X: (stares)

Bob Knight: (stares)

Yeah, that seems about right (seriously, click on the Mike and Mike link; that's what it's gonna be). The only reason "analysts" exist is to entertain people that don't have to take a shit during halftime and to fill out the rest of a half hour highlight show when footage of games cannot. Bob Knight, just because he is a crazy psycho, is not going to change that. It's not like he's going to openly berate Tom Brennan (that's Gottlieb's job) and it's not like he's going to throw chairs. And he's certainly not going to be critical of ANY players or coaches, because, in 100 years of being in basketball, he's friends with everyone. There might be some poor man's Barkley-type ribbing with his co-hosts and he obviously knows his basketball, but that's about it. You're best bet for entertainment is if he's paired with Gottlieb and Gottlieb inevitably thinks he's smarter than Knight -- and he probably is actually in terms of this year's teams and players... but still a dick) -- challenges him on something and Knight gives him the Jeremy Schaap treatment.

And all the nonsense about "Knight becoming a journalist even though he hates them" is ridiculous. Being an on-screen basketball analyst for ESPN is the furthest thing from journalism in the world. It's sports journalism in the same way Entertainment Tonight is a news program.

And yes, I needed something to take the anger of Syracuse's bedshitting today out on.