Super, Scintillating and Sarcastic

Release From Hibernation: NBA Draft Early Entrants Part 2

2008-05-10T11:00:00.004-04:00

Continuing the slow return of content on this here blog, some more fun NBA Draft stuff coming your way today. Last week I looked at the guys who declared early for the draft and hired an agent. Today we will look at some folks that are “testing the waters,” as the kids say. Now, there are a million of these folks, so some might get left out and many of these looks will be brief.

Before we get into each player, a disclaimer: With the new rule that NBA teams pay for expenses for a player’s individual workout, there should be some obvious decisions to be made. First, NO ONE should finish college without declaring for the draft. I might be missing something here, but if there is no money to lose, then there is absolutely nothing to lose by declaring and not hiring an agent. The school year is over by draft time, most college coaches are gonna want you in the weight room or on the track in the morning around this time of year, all the chicks are off campus, you get exposure, a chance to play directly in front of NBA execs and you get an idea of where you might fall in the Draft. Plus, if you play decent enough you could get more scouts at your games if you go back to college.

Guys like George Hill at IUPUI, Courtney Pigram at East Tennessee State and Walter Sharpe at UAB are a few players who have realized this. Maybe they have a career game in a pre-draft camp, maybe they fit a specific team’s need, maybe some scout’s latte is spiked with angel dust and he hallucinates that you scored 55 points, grabbed 22 rebounds and swallowed a unicorn whole. WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN ~~TYLER~~?

So yeah, keep that in mind as we look at some of these folks.

Darrell Arthur- This is an interesting case because he’s probably already a lottery pick, and yet there is still work to be done. Signs of a mid-range jumper emerged late in the season, which is exactly what scouts were worried about, so the only thing left is probably some strength and overall polish. I think Arthur is a stud, quite frankly and I’m not sure how much better he can get next year at Kansas. He’s very quick and very fast for a power forward and has all the tools to be a go-to scorer once some post moves emerge. Sacramento and New Jersey should fight to the death for this man.

Mario Chalmers- Everyone in the NBA should want Chalmers as their back-up point. He’s probably not going to go as high as he wants, but he has no reason to go back.

Donte Greene- As a Syracuse fan, I obviously want him to come back. The Orange would be filthy next year if he did. And with a final month of the season that basically saw him shoot 25-footers from 30 minutes a game, you wouldn't think he'd be a lottery pick, which is probably what he wants. But the problem is, for me at least, that Greene is a 6-10 athlete with unlimited range and probably one of the top five offensive players in the draft if he stays in. He needs a lot of work, specifically on defense and rebounding, to play either forward spot in the pros, but I fear he's going to hear what he wants once GMs see him in workouts. (sigh).

Chase Budinger- It’s quite possible that Chase has peaked at the ripe old age of 20. The talent is there but if he goes back is he suddenly going to become a good defender or someone that actually cares about basketball 100 percent of the time? No, especially not on a team with a weird coaching situation and yet another incoming guard to steal shots and the spotlight. Budinger isn’t a lottery pick this year, but I don’t think he is next year either. He’s probably a 20-24 guy that will go higher because he’ll be a workout wonder. So I guess he should stay in.

Joe Alexander- I’m not sure what Alexander’s role is in the NBA. It appears his best quality is his scoring and he’s not going to be a go-to scorer in the NBA because there won’t be the mismatches he so frequently saw in college. So why do you draft him? Unless he improves his range out to the NBA three line, you don’t. He’s not an NBA starter right now and should probably go back to school, but I could still justify a playoff team taking him around No. 20 as a potential rotation guy. He and Budinger will have many workouts together, which will most certainly be followed by a friendly milkshake at the diner and some Scrabble.

JJ Hickson- Get the hell out of there JJ, while you still can. I was surprised he didn’t hire an agent right away. I’m assuming due to the atrociousness of the Wolf Pack last year, not enough NBA scouts know about him yet, which is why he might be skeptical of his position. But once he starts working out, he will rise on the draft boards. He needs to work on conditioning and his defense, but the potential to be a great scorer in the NBA is there. He’s a 15-20 guy right now and would be interesting on Philly or Washington.

Ryan Anderson- He’s like Alexander, except taller and better in my opinion. Most people don’t have this opinion. Chad Ford thinks he’s a bubble first-rounder and NBADraft.net doesn’t even think he’ll stay in the Draft, while Alexander is in most top 20s. Anderson is a guy that needs the right fit, an up tempo team with multiple forward options and a good point guard. Some people will say he’s a “tweener” but I don’t there really are tweener forwards anymore. He’s a small-ball power forward and with basically every team in the NBA making frequent use of a small line-up, Anderson could be a legit 15-point scorer pretty soon on a team that likes the pick and pop or has a go-to post scorer that attracts double teams. Teams in the 17-24 range that make sense are Toronto, Cleveland, Denver and (obviously) Utah.

Russell Westbrook- You’re gone Russ. Seriously don’t go back there; we need you in the NBA. I would take Westbrook over every guard in the Draft besides Rose and Mayo. He’s got perfect size, quickness and explosiveness for a combo guard in a league that has seen combo guards thrive under the new rules. He is already a great defender and if he can develop any type of consistent jumper, he will be an assassin. Some will say he needs to be more of a point guard but that would take away a lot of his value because he wouldn’t be going to the basket as much. I hate comparing players but he reminds me very much of Monta Ellis, who will be a top 25 NBA player soon. When all is said and done I expect Westbrook to be a Top 7 guy and end up as possibly one of the top three from this class looking back. So yeah, he should stay in the draft.

Jamont Gordon- Consider me a staunch Jamont Gordon supporter. The big point guard fits much better in the NBA than college because teams can't pack it in on you if you're not a great shooter, which Gordon is not, and guards can actually utilize a post game, which Gordon possesses. He’s going to have to cover shooting guards in the NBA though and is useless as a spot-up shooter off kick-outs, but I don’t see how a guy with his size, ball-handling and strength can’t be a major asset in the NBA. In terms of draft position, which you know, affects his well-being, he should go back, but for me, he is a perfect early-second round steal.

DeAndre Jordan- No one player’s value will be more disputed by me than Jordan. Obviously based on athleticism and size, he is a perfect NBA center. People will see Andrew Bynum and flip out and want to take him Top 10, which will keep him in the draft. But seriously, the guy was terrible last year. He couldn’t stay on the court, took bad shots and nearly all of his success was due to just being bigger and more athletic than everyone. In the right, patient organization he could be great but, man, how can you take someone this unproven in the age-minimum era? Either way, Dick Vitale’s head will explode over Jordan’s draft slot.

Antonio Anderson- Antonio knows exactly what I was talking about in the intro.

Robert Dozier- In cahoots with Antonio Anderson.

Marreese Speights- He could go back to Florida and be a Top 10 guy in 2009, but right now, he’s still pretty freaking good. He’s already got the prototypical NBA power forward body and will be able to hold his own athletically. Speights won’t be a post scorer in the League for another few years though, so whichever team between 12 and 17 takes him will need a viable starting option already.

AJ Abrams- He doesn’t really have any chance of making the first round unless teams are just foaming at the mouth to give a guaranteed contract to a guy whose ceiling is “Eddie House.” Come back and learn to play some point AJ, then we can talk.

Wayne Ellington- I can’t decide if Ellington is a sucky prospect or if he’s just equivalent to Rashad McCants (sadly, not this Rashad McCants). He’s a first-round bubble guy because he pales in comparison to guys like Brandon Rush and Chris Douglas-Roberts. His problem is he doesn’t do one thing exceptionally well and he is undersized. Again, returning to school isn’t going to help his stock that much, but it will be a weaker draft class next year and UNC would probably win the title. Oh, and something like this will still be in the realm of possibility for his life.

Danny Green- He’s actually a better pro prospect than his teammate Ellington because he has better size, long arms and more athleticism. Green sacrificed his numbers because he fit that sixth man role on UNC so well and I think he could eventually fill that role in the NBA. Plus there is the potential for him to be a defensive stopper on an opponent’s best wing player. For some reason I still feel like him, Ellington and Lawson already know they are going back and are just testing the waters in case some team makes a crazy promise. With Isiah Thomas and Billy Knight not in this draft, they shouldn’t hold their breath.

Ty Lawson- Unfortunately the lasting image of Lawson was him clearly not at full strength. He is really fast and a good playmaker, but there were some serious flaws evident this year. He can’t shoot, he has no mid-range game and he seemed to play smaller this year than his freshman year, if that makes any sense. He’s not an NBA starter, plain and simple. That being said, he is probably a late first-rounder, so that might be enough. I’d stay in school, try to get that swag back, win a title, ride some Psycho T coattail and be a Top 5 point in 2009’s class.

Alonzo Gee- Maybe next year.

Lee Cummard- Google search nightmare.

Kosta Koufos- I went all crazy over Koufos in the beginning of the year, as did many NBA scouts I’m sure. Then he basically hit the wall and realized they don’t take kindly to his kind in the college ranks. I still don’t see how a 7-1 power forward who can shoot and handle the ball will fail in the NBA, but I’m not sure he’s a lottery pick right now. Although once NBA scouts see a 7-1 kid nail threes over chairs in workouts, who knows. If he stays another year, he’s probably a lock for the Top 10.

Bill Walker- He can go back to KSU and be “the guy” for a year, which would make him a possible lottery pick in 2009 unless he is murdered by Frank Martin, Crazy Person. It’s impossible to know how the Beasley Effect changed his game. It could have either made him look much better because of the lack of attention or make him look much worse because touches were limited and he had to force everything just to get his numbers. I’d take him in the 20 to 25 range if I was a playoff team that could take a gamble. Oh, and this doesn't fly in the NBA.

Richard Hendrix- Reminds me of the Cedric Simmons, Hilton Armstrong, Josh Boone type as a guy who will be drafted too high by a team loaded with guards just because he is best big man available by default. In that case, he should stay! The NBA: Where multi-million dollar contracts given out by default Happens.

Lester Hudson- I love Lester and would love to waste a second-round pick on him.

Shawn James- Coming to a Turkish League near you.

Josh Carter- He’ll be back, although he probably won’t be happy about it, as the best player on a dismal-looking Aggie team next year. He can shoot and uh… shoot.

DeMarre Carroll- No idea.

Leo Lyons- Whatever you say, Leo.

Jerel McNeal- He is the type of guy that will always be undervalued because of his limitations (ball-handling, shooting) despite the potential to be a great role player in the NBA as a lock-down, Bruce Bowen-type defender. There’s no real reason for him to not come back for another year of college, but I’d put him on my NBA bench today.

Luc Richard Mbah a Moute- Should probably go back to school but in doing so, would immediately risk breaking every bone in his body.

Jeremy Pargo- Prototypical undersized scoring guard. That used to mean you go undrafted, but in today’s NBA, you’re a valuable bench player. He’s actually very much like his brother Jannero, who is great for the Hornets, except stronger with a bit less range. He’s not going to gain anything from another year of college except maybe some more TV games, but he’s probably a 30-40 range guy that sneaks on a roster.

Trent Plaisted- Chad Ford says he could be a mid-to-late first rounder, which is insane. He’s got good post moves but is way too mechanical to be a consistent scorer and won’t be able to guard 80 percent of the 4s and 5s in the NBA. Some terrible franchise that is mesmerized by 7-footers (uh oh, Memphis has the Lakers pick) will take him if he stays.

Josh Shipp- Probably should have done this after last season. Might want to stay in the draft to avoid the embarrassment of losing his starting job with the Bruins next year.

Ronald Steele- Obviously he needs to go back but if I’m Steele (and particularly Steele’s knee), I am scared shitless of Alabama right now. I just hope people don’t forget how incredibly sick he was as a freshman.

Robert Vaden- Under-sized shooting guards who can only shoot make for great tenth and eleventh guys on NBA rosters. Live the dream Robert.

Last time I gave my 2008 lottery picks in no particular order, this time I am giving the guys on this list that would be lotto picks, barring a disaster, next year if they were to go back. And then also the guys who have already announced they are going back to school who will be lotto picks in 2009. And yes, this is pointless.

Darrell Arthur
Russell Westrbrook
Kosta Koufos
Ryan Anderson
DeAndre Jordan
JJ Hickson
Blake Griffin (going back)
Austin Daye (going back)
Hasheem Thabeet (going back)
Tyler Hansbrough (going back)
Patrick Patterson (going back)

Release From Hibernation: NBA Draft Early Entrants Part 1

2008-05-03T13:05:00.004-04:00

Draft time is Hubie time

OK, I haven't been able to post on here lately due to things less interesting than basketball occupying time. So it goes. But on Thursday they announced the final list of early entry candidates for the Draft. For your own sake, here is a summary: EVERYONE declared for the draft. Seriously. There are 69 early entrants to the draft, just from college. Some are no-brainers, others have no brains. Here are those that are important and what their prospects are, in addition to a couple notable returnees. For analysis on Lee Cummard's draft chances, look elsewhere and be sure to put SafeSearch "on" before you Google.

Today we look at those who are in the draft, with an agent. Those that are testing the waters will come at a later date. Those who are coming back will be covered as well, with the possibility of a few thousand words on how dumb Tyler Hansbrough is.

Oh and hopefully I can get some more draft stuff up, because it is my favorite thing of the year.

IN (with agent):
Michael Beasley- I hope Beasley didn't kill a vagrant or impregnate a thirteen-year-old or something, because that is the only way he is not No. 1 in my book. Derrick Rose is a ridiculous freak of a basketball player, but Beasley is probably the most ready NBA ready player of the past three years. He can play 35 minutes at either forward for you right now. His ceiling is lower than Rose, but not by much.

Derrick Rose- Looking at the potential teams for the top pick, only Seattle should consider taking Rose. That being said, I have never seen a combination of size, speed and athleticism in a point guard that Rose has. He will never be a great scorer (like "Top 15 in the league" great) but he has the capability of being great at everything else, especially as a defender. If he did go to those Sonics, I would consider purchasing them.

Jerryd Bayless- The weirdness surrounding that program, plus the coming of Brandon Jennings and his hair made this pretty easy for Bayless. As great as he was in college, I don't know if he's a sure thing for the pros. One thing he does have going for him is all those intangibles that might be meaningless but that GMs love. He plays hard, hurt and has a mean streak in him, which is probably worth a slot or two in the draft order. He is going to be judged against Mayo and Gordon, which should make for some mind-bottingly awesome workouts.

Eric Gordon- Everyone who thinks he should slide is a bit insane. Of the guards near the top of the draft his game is the one that is least suited for college in relation to the NBA. There's no reason for someone like Eric Gordon to not take a buttload of threes in college when his range is roughly 72 feet. I don't think he's an All Star, but, like, isn't he better than someone like Randy Foye, who was drafted pretty high and is a decent pro?

OJ Mayo- No player in this year's draft will be more divisive. Mayo can step into the league and be a very good defender right away and on a team like Minnesota, with a good post player, could be a good scorer right away because teams won't be able to focus on him. He is not a headcase. At all. So don't worry about all that crap about character that ESPN's retarded analysts will freak out about. Like I said, he will be compared to Gordon and Bayless and I think I'd take him over both at this point.

Derrick Caracter- Fat.

Kevin Love- Fat. .... Oh sorry. Love will also be a divisive dude because most fans will expect a player of his profile to be a star but he will not be in the NBA. What he will be is a pretty good secondary player. Think Joakim Noah except someone you don't necessarily want to stab. This is another guy that needs a good fit. It needs to be a team with a somewhat capable scorer on the block so they can go high-low and take advantage of his passing/shooting. And a team with a good point guard because Love is probably the best pick-and-pop player in any of the past couple drafts (note: no one in the lottery fits that description, but I still think he should be a lottery pick). He will not be a low-post scorer or a good defender though. He needs to get rid of that chinstrap.

Brook Lopez- I am in the camp that thinks Lopez should be the No. 3 pick. I have not seen many people at this camp. He's got an NBA-ready frame and while his post moves are non-existent, he's not a stiff. There is no one at the top of the draft that can justify not taking a center, especially one whose weaknesses aren't physical or ability-related, but just a matter of needing more polish.

JaVale McGee- I hate people like JaVale McGee. JaVale McGee is Rafael Araujo. He is Patrick O'Bryant. He is Cedric Simmons. A guy who thinks he can be an NBA player because he is big and can run a bit. McGee is going to be a lottery pick for a team like Indiana or New Jersey, which have no idea how to run a franchise and take him because he is big and he can run a bit. We must stop this menace.

Chris Douglas-Roberts- He will be the quintessential "great role player" from this draft. If he's one of your top three players in the NBA, you suck. If he is your fourth or fifth best player, you are in good shape. The jumper needs work but he's good at everything else and appears to have the mental make-up to embrace a lockdown defender role if needed. He's the type of player that can take an emerging late-lottery team (Golden State, Portland, Sacramento) into the playoffs.

DJ Augustin- I was surprised that Augustin hired an agent, especially because he didn't test the process last year (side note: it is completely idiotic to hire an agent the first time you declare for the draft; conversely it is completely idiotic to not declare at least once during your college career). He's not a top five guard in this draft, which doesn't bode well for his lottery hopes in a league of decision-makers that cream their jeans over size. Maybe he can become a Tony Parker type dude, but his best bet is if a Western Conference team (Houston, Utah) makes him its back-up.

CJ Giles- Bad at basketball.

Davon Jefferson- I've been unable to find a reliable place with info on whether Jefferson signed an agent, but I have to assume there is no way he will return to USC after the weird, up and down season he had last year. Jefferson is EXACTLY the type of risk/reward guy that GMs are terrified of. One of two things will happen with him. A) he will have some crazy workouts and some team will shock everyone by taking him in the late lottery and he will be awful and/or crazy. B) everyone will be scared of his inconsistency and age (he's 21) and he will drop to the bottom of the first round or early second and then be really really good. Nothing else can happen to him.

Robin Lopez- He is Harvey Grant. He is Jason Collins. He is Jarron Collins. He is Frank Stallone,. But he's actually pretty good and would be a real solid bench big man for a playoff team picking in the 20s that needs 20 minutes of defense rebounding and energy. Will be compared to Anderson Varejao by many.

Anthony Randolph- I really liked this guy before the year and saw him play a couple times and continued to like him. That being said, he is NOT a top 10 pick, like many people think he is. Yes he is a better fit for the new, sleaker NBA, but as we have seen in the playoffs, you can't get by on simply athleticism like you can in college. He is a small-ball power forward in the NBA and one that favors comparably to someone like Brandan Wright, who he will be compared to constantly, because he can shoot a little bit. But I can't see him being anything but a huge liability trying to cover other NBA power forwards in the half-court. Another guy that has talent, but will be drafted too high by some awful franchise (Milwaukee) that will squander it.

Brandon Rush- Boring, somewhere in the 20s pick that will be a key contributor for a good team in the future.

And just for the record, here are the 14 guys I think should be in the lottery, in no particular order, with no regard to team needs or anything.

Derrick Rose
Michael Beasley
OJ Mayo
Brook Lopez
Jerryd Bayless
Eric Gordon
Russell Westbrook
Kevin Love
Danillo Gallinari (from other country)
Nicolas Batum (from other country)
Anthony Randolph
Davon Jefferson
Chris Douglas-Roberts
Darrell Arthur

Your NCAA Championship Gamelog

2008-04-07T21:19:00.004-04:00

I haven't been around these here parts in awhile, a real job that doesn't revolve around making jokes about Billy Packer's bladder control will do that to you, but I felt I needed to dust off the old blog and put some closure on the season. Here's your gamelog, I vow to return for the wonderous, inanely speculative splendor that is the NBA Draft. Probably.

1st Half
20:00- Nantz does all the intros and what nots. Why does every analyst start sentences with "when you look at" nowadays? I am already looking right at them, why does your pending analysis assume I am looking elsewhere?

19:43- Dorsey scores and an angel gets its wings, which are tattooed.

19:04- Brandon Rush nearly dies for the sake of a dunk. He is an American hero. Packer compares him to "the great Darnell Valentine," mainly because he is 112 years old.

17:57- Arthur bangs one on Dorsey and immediately apologizes.

16:50- Slop abounds, which always seems to happen for the first ten minutes of every title game.

16:39- OK, let's get this out of the way. Derrick Rose is the MOP of this tourney for me, win or lose. He is the best point guard prospect since Chris Paul (obviously) and will be a freaking star in the pros. He is NOT the No. 1 pick in the draft. Moving along...

15:36- 9-7 Kansas. Sasha Kaun receives far too many alley oops for a Russian. Isn't the United Nations doing something to prevent this?

13:44- 11-11. NBADraft.net has CDR at No. 18 in the '08 Draft. What exactly does he not do well? There is nothing.

13:00- 13-11 Memphis. Case in point, the absurd 12-foot push shot he just hit. He's even good at looking weird.

12:17- 13-11 Memphis. It's Ed Hightower's world and we're all just living in it.

11:33- 13-13. OK, now that it appears they are showing new ads for this game, here's a quick rundown of the March Madness commercials, each of which I have seen 13,000 times. Good: Sven. Bad: Everything else. That was fun.

10:53- 15-13 Kansas. Brandon Rush is another guy who will be drafted way too late, which just goes to show, it doesn't pay to play a lot of college basketball. If Brandon Rush was some mysterious swingman with lots of athleticism and without three years of college ball for a great team under his belt (like he was before busting his knee last year), he'd be a top 10 pick. Now, because he's merely "solid" he'll drop to around 20.

9:38- 18-13 Kansas. Cole Aldrich comes in, and I will admit he was incredible in the semis. But let's just say, for a seldom-used freshman, Joey Dorsey is not the same opponent as Tyler Hansbrough. And that dunk, should quickly allow Cole to realize that.

8:01- 22-18 Kansas. Packer is incredulous that Rose doesn't shoot enough and he gets two quick assists. Packer changes his tune and I am rather pleased.

7:00- 24-23 Kansas. Roy Williams doesn't give a shit about the University of North Carolina.

6:02- 26-26. This has settled into an extremely entertaining, high-quality game. Now back to less important matters.

4:49. 28-28. CDR is pooping upon everyone.

3:52. 28-28. Amendment to the commercial roundup from earlier. Good: Sven, Nike Training Saul Williams thing that makes me want to light things on fire. Bad: Everything else.

2:30. 31-28 Kansas. Nantz: "Where is Derrick Rose?" Well Jim, he's right there in front of you playing, you know, point guard. Oh and look, there he is at the top of a mock draft, ahead of Michael Beasley. That's where he is. It appears this will be Packer's "Thing to Be Cantankerous About" this year. A freshman point guard not jacking up 25 shots in a national title game against one of the nation's best defensive backcourts.

Half. 33-28 Kansas. Good half, high energy, very athletic, pretty well played besides the beginning, lots of Rush/Arthur, lots of CDR, fair amount of Rose, not enough for Packer, no Sven.

2nd Half
18:12- 36-35 Memphis. Game on, as the venerable Wayne Campbell once said.

16:30- 38-37 Memphis. Rose alley oops it to Dorsey, Packer is appalled he wouldn't alley oop it to himself.

15:13- 39-38 Kansas. Penny Hardaway is in the stands. Zero NBA teams play tonight. Those are not two related statements.

13:55- 39-38 Kansas. Anderson missed two free throws. See!? SEE!?

12:07- 43-42 Kansas. If Rose had dunked that, we would all cease to exist.

11:00- 45-42 Kansas. The more I watch this game, the more I think every player in it will find an NBA roster... except Pierre Niles.... then again, Oliver Miller made it so....

10:30- 45-44 Kansas. Rose with another pretty ridiculous finish and Packer says nothing. Kansas is basically doing everything it can to contain Rose, he is playing completely within himself and yet he is getting ripped because he doesn't have 25 points. No snark there, it just bugs me.

8:38- 47-46 Kansas. Nantz: "Both men met their wives in Lawrence, Kansas... of all places." Well, it's a better place to meet women than Augusta National so I'm not sure why you are throwing stones Green Jacket Boy.

8:24- 49-47 Memphis. This game will mark the triumphant end to The Year Of The Junk Defense.

7:36- 51-47 Memphis. Rose does something gross again and he is once again the second coming of Christ, or at least Jack Nicklaus, to Nantz and Packer.

5:10- 54-47 Memphis. Dear lord Mr. Rose.

4:45- 54-49 Memphis. Sherron Collins scores and Nantz announces that he pounded his chest and said let's go. Only Nantz would find this noteworthy.

4:04- 57-49 Memphis. Rose hits a fadeaway banked three at the shot clock buzzer. There goes your One Shining Moment right there folks. And probably your NCAA Tournament. And probably Billy Packer's bladder.

3:49- 56-49 Memphis. Check that, it was a two-pointer. One Shining Moment does not discriminate though.

3:10- 56-49 Memphis. Kansas plays man-to-man defense all year long, were one of the best defensive teams in the country, played it the whole first half to a five-point lead and are now inexplicably throwing some weird zones out there. Are you sure you want to pay Bill Self $60 million and all the cows he can slaughter Oklahoma State?

2:12- 60-51 Memphis. I really hope the Tigers don't make all these free throws, not because I want them to lose, but because Calipari won't stop talking about it for somewhere between four and 987 months.

1:44- 60-56 Memphis. Steal, three, got-a-game-again.

1:30- 62-56 Memphis. Two free throws by CDR. OK Kansas, you have held Memphis to 60 points for 38+ minutes and yet you feel the best way to stop them from scoring is to give them two uncontested 15-foot shots rather than play defense straight up. Again, OK State, you're gonna give this man a jillion dollars? And an unlimited supply of freshly processed goat cheese?

0:44- 62-60 Memphis. And we've got a title game folks. Feels good, doesn't it?

0:16- 62-60 Memphis. Anyone get a read on the nutritional facts on CDR's arm? How many grams of sodium does he contain? Oh, I suppose this in intense or something.

0:12- 62-60 Memphis. Somehow, on this Earth, Kansas doesn't get a rebound after CDR misses two free throws. Where is Sasha Kaun when you need him?

0:00- 63-63. Holy crap. How is Gus Johnson not doing this game? What a freaking shot. Foul shots Calipari, you son of a B, foul shots! Best title game of my lifetime (besides when Syracuse won).

OVERTIME
4:30- 65-63 Kansas. Sherron Collins is playing really, very well tonight. He's a star next year. Sorry, when a gamelog predicated on making fun of things in a shallow, understated manner turns into an insanely entertaining game, it's hard to stay in character.

3:38- 67-63 Kansas. If Arthur and Collins stay, this team will be right back here again. Well, if Self is at Oklahoma State, of course.

2:24- 69-65 Kansas. Two Memphis foul shots. They make 'em when they count!

0:57- 71-68 Kansas. Seriously, what a game. That is all.

0:45- 73-68 Kansas. Cal elects to foul even though they could have gotten it back with 10+ seconds. Chalmers makes two and it appears Calipari, in the end will have out-incompetented Self.

0:00- 75-68 Kansas. And Kansas is your improbable, unbelievable champ this season. Nantz: "Rock, Chalk, Championship." He came up with this roughly three months ago. It was an amazing finish to a fairly unamazing season of very poor basketball at times. But like it always does, March Madness never fails to disappoint, no matter the circumstances. So thanks Davidson, Western Kentucky, Derrick Rose, Kevin Love, Mario Chalmers and, why not, Kansas. I might not have picked the best year to unload my thoughts and passion for college hoops onto the Intertubes, but, as I expected, it's certainly better than not writing about college basketball.

So One Shining Moment and all that crap, let's wrap this baby up. It's been real.

Hooray For Links! NCAA Tournament Edition

2008-03-24T13:18:00.003-04:00

I was never a big proponent of doing link dumps and the like on this site because, well, it didn't really make sense to me. Why would I simply reproduce things that are already out there? But as I did my own scouring of the Intertubes for college hoops content, I realized there was just too much quality (and, at times, utterly awful) stuff out there to simply leave untapped. So I give you Hooray For Links! which should appear at completely random intervals. Because without links, it's not really a blog, it's just a place to put thoughts I might not want to forget.

I haven't written all that much about the Tournament, except for some wildly outstanding previews; I prefer to just kinda enjoy it as a spectator and avoid consuming the enormous mass of regurgitated storylines and feature ideas. This year's March Madness has been tremendous, something I was worried about after the mediocrity that highlighted the regular season and the general lack of interesting match-ups. I thought this year would be an event that would bore for the first two rounds and then really shine in the regionals, after all the craptastic teams were eliminated. Well the second part of that has came true -- these games this weekend should be awesome -- without the boring part. So here are some links, many of which are preview items as the content produced about the actual Tournament is pretty boring.

Them links be after the jump.
Continue...

- Given their first meeting and its outcome, watching the diverging paths of North Carolina and Duke in the NCAAs was fascinating. The Heels have been utterly dominant. Duke was awful, would've been the victim of the biggest upset in NCAA Tournament history if not for Gerald Henderson playing like a man, were destroyed in the second half against West Virginia and are home now. I'd like to think this moment, and this moment alone, was the turning point for both teams. Revel in its beauty.

- This CBS Sportsline column about Tyler Hansbrough from Mike Freeman was pretty bold, pretty controversial (read the comments) and difficult to argue with. I'm not going to go to deep into it; he basically feels there is a double standard perpetuated by the media regarding highly visible white players in college hoops. The giveaway line is : "America loves a tough, white guy." He is right in that regard but doesn't quite make a full argument or offer a lot to support the hypothesis. Freeman is a fellow University of Delaware alum so in interest of full disclosure, I'm probably an apologist for a fellow Blue Hen. But it's an interesting read.

- Dan Steinberg at the fabulous (heterosexually fabulous, that is) DC Sports Bog with a great first-hand account of storming the floor following American's Patriot League Championship (which seems like it happened year ago).

- Everyone was all fussy about the Selection Committee matching up mid-major with each other, including me, and no one has been better at chronicling the view from the little guys than ESPN.com contributor and Mid-Majority editor Kyle Whelliston, Lord of the Mid-Majors. After the field was announced he penned this great column on the traveshammockery that is Selection Sunday. In light of the runs made by mid-majors like Western Kentucky and Davidson, which has hopefully validated the many cries of foul directed toward the Committee for seemingly wanting the BCS schools to conduct their business without losing face, Whelliston has renamed his site The WKU-Majority. Rather than link all of Whelliston's great posts from the weekend -- it would require many hyperlinks and possible carpel tunnel -- just go to his site and read it all. After a year where the big boys reigned, the mid-majors are back and have found a place at the top. George Mason was no fluke, watch out world.

- Basketball Prospectus, in its first year on the job, offered this season's best tournament preview. And to follow it up, they have been outstanding in their tourney coverage. So go there, read it, love it, live a better life.

- For someone with the rare and unfortunate combination of being a basketball addict and former English major in college, this piece on how Ernest Hemingway would analyze some of the top NCAA contenders was absolutely fantastic.

- I enjoyed this column from Andy Katz on Kevin Love and OJ Mayo, even if it was approximately the 8 millionth of its kind and basically jinxed the hell out of USC. Hopefully we can put all those preconceived notions about the two and the completely false "antithesis" they represent.

- Alright so one more Kyle Whelliston item to pass along. Last one, I swear, but the guy is doing great work over there. With my brackets in complete shambles, as I predicted, I enjoyed this column asking readers to not fill out a bracket this year. I wish I could do this. Unfortunately my body and mind will not allow me to abstain from Bracketering; I must have a chemical imbalance. But with my picks basically ruined, I have enjoyed this year's tournament even without having any real live reason to root for a specific. I've become a liberated fan, something that the boys at FreeDarko talk a lot about; I am simply an enjoyer of good basketball. And this makes very much sense. The reason I love the NCAA Tournament is not because I love winning office pools, it's because I love basketball. A lot. So, as Whelliston argues, by filling out a bracket you are simply celebrating prognostication, right and wrongness. Not basketball, which is what this thing is all about. Just because there is no prospect of winning money off of them, doesn't mean you can't like a team or have interest in a game.

- There certainly are some curious trends the Selection Committee seems to be perpetuating, and Gary Parrish is there to point them out and call out the Committee. For someone who is unusually Freshman-centric, I also enjoyed this column he wrote on young bucks and their big tourney roles.

- This is why I enjoy Bill Raftery.

- This was in Sports Illustrated's March Madness preview issue, a great look from Grant Wahl at how size dictates tournament success, especially in regards to this year's field, which contains a lot of small-ball teams, which follows the trend recently seen in the NBA. Looking at the teams left, many of the remaining top seeds at least has respectable post players, but squads like Texas, Tennessee, West Virginia and Memphis will be operating without a great deal of size. Should be interesting to see how that dynamic plays out (especially with Texas vs. Stanford; the best Sweet 16 match-up this year).

- Further proof that no matter how much Bill Simmons knows about the NBA (which is a whole lot), he should not write about college basketball.

- No No. 1 seed was really even tested in the first round this year, but there is really nothing better than when one gets scared. Here is a run-down of the closest calls in history.

- The world will never be the same. There is no God.

- Very good piece analyzing CBS' first weekend coverage of the NCAAs (even if it praises Seth Davis for non-comedic excellence). I thought it was pretty good coverage as well, except that Gus Johnson had all blowouts and Tim Brando was nearly comatose during that insane Friday in Tampa. Given all the tooting being done for Davis taking Davidson, I would like to point out that I said Belmont would give Duke all they could handle in the first round. I may be near last place in all my pools, but I will hold onto this for years.

- And here, an example of why local nightly news will not bring upon the end of civilization, contrary to popular belief:

San Diego Does Not Care For Your 7-3 Players, Gonzaga, St. Mary's

2008-03-21T18:10:00.004-04:00

Well this is shaping up to be a considerably better day than yesterday. Nearly an hour after all the other afternoon games ended, the No. 13 Toreros (real nickname) of San Diego in the West region have knocked off Connecticut. It's the biggest upset of the tourney, topping Whale's Vagina's next opponent, No. 12 Western Kentucky, and its buzzer-beater over Drake.

The Huskies were without AJ Price for most of the game but that really shouldn't sour this win. USD played most of the second half without its star center Gyno Pomare, who despite his hygienically unfortunate first name, made Hasheem Thabeet his bitch for most of today. After missed free throws let the Huskies send it to OT, Pomare fouled out and the Toreros other best player pulled a groin and then fouled out himself, but not before hitting a massive shot down the stretch. Down one after the Huskies continued to make free throws while San Diego could not, the Toreros third option, De'Jon Jackson, hit a really tough fall away over Stanley Robinson to win the game. San Diego, which played in the WCC shadows of Gonzaga and Saint Mary's, have now beaten both en route to a conference title that got them into this tournament against all odds and, to top it off, outlasted both perennial league powerhouses in the Big Dance. Great stuff.

So yeah, the Madness is taking shape and that region has opened up for UCLA even more. And those fortunate enough to have tickets to that Tampa site should be rather pleased (even though the crowd, besides the Drake fans, was pretty bad and the announcing crew sounded like they wanted to get the hell out of there before the media buffet ran out).

And lastly, good for San Diego freshman Rob Jones. Jones was a monster today, scoring 14 points including a big shot over Thabeet late in OT and a circus shot, possibly the toughest of the tournament, late in regulation. I did a post earlier on the season on the amazing story by Gary Smith of Sports Illustrated on Jones, who is the grandson of crazed cult leader and mass suicide organizer Jim Jones. Jones' father, Jim Jr., would have been involved in that mass suicide if not for a basketball game that had him off the Jonestown plantation at the time. He hated the game because of all the guilt but recently learned to love it, when he reluctantly allowed Rob to pursue the game he loved and saw the success he could bring to a shamed family name. So as much as that upset means to everyone around that program, it's gotta mean a lot more for the Jones family.

Mid-Major Basketball Is Better Than Your Basketball

2008-03-21T14:46:00.004-04:00

You are so getting free Skittles in school Monday, Steph

I didn't write anything about yesterday's games, partially because they were boring (besides Belmont-Duke of course), but mostly because I was not working and thus, drunk. But today I can be silent no more. While many complained about the mid-majors being paired up with each other in some kind of capitalistic basketball cannibalism by the Selection Committee, I am very happy that Gonzaga and Davidson played each other and that Drake and Western Kentucky played each other. Very happy. (Even if The Drake was heartbroken).

Those four squads, although only two of them were able to advance, treated this country to two of the best first round games in recent memory and hopefully showed the Selection Committee and CBS execs that when mid-majors play, more people should watch. Both games were back and forth, up and down, long range bombing celebrations of the little guy; a style that even Tennessee tried to impose on American, but which the former No. 1 was unable to perfect. These four teams not only played like the big boys and provided excitement that exceeded any similar-seeded match-ups between BCS schools, but they did for this country what they have been doing for hardcore hoops fans all season. Plant that seed of wonderment: "I wonder what they could do against a real team?"

And while the wording of that question is problematic in itself, it probably doesn't matter. If those two games and any that come after it make the Selection Committee and the TV networks realize that these teams can play with the big boys, provide moments like the big boys, and, unfortunately most importantly, bring in viewers like the big boys, well then the respect will have to follow. (Davidson and Western Kentucky beating their probable opponents, Georgetown and UConn, respectively, would help too.)

So all hail Courtney Lee, Adam Emmenecker, all of those damn Korvers and of course, the 8th grader Stephen Curry, 40-point scorer, slayer of Bulldogs, spelling bee champion. They are the new, unfamiliar faces of March Madness and they have officially kicked of this NCAA Tournament. Now when does that Butler-South Alabama game start?

And So It Begins...

2008-03-20T01:02:00.003-04:00

I've written plenty of nonsense leading up to today -- previews for the East, West, South and Midwest especially -- none of which will help you fill out your bracket or win you any money. I've done a lot of deliberating leading up to today, pouring over this silly piece of paper, hoping that it will all come together in some way or another. It hasn't. I thought that despite not releasing any sort of important analysis to the public, that the abnormal, probably unhealthy amount of basketball I have watched this year -- the game that I've spent my entire life obsessing over -- that I could decipher both rhyme and reason for this thing. And when I ultimately couldn't, I expected to be pissed, soured on this year's tournament because it had mediocre teams that refused to differentiate each other, thus making my bracket useless, thus making all that basketball I watched useless.

But I wasn't pissed. The thing is -- and this is something I am realizing for the first time, mainly because I have never seen a season that has left me as perplexed as this -- I don't give a flying fuck about how my brackets do this year.

Will I complain about the unfortunate circumstances that doomed my picks? Yeah. Will I cry BS if I come a few points short of winning money? Probably. I know these things will happen. But I am still really, very much, bunches and bunches filled with excitement, even if the outcome of these games have absolutely no meaning to me. I guess that's probably why I write a blog on this sport and probably why I care more about basketball than anything that is not human. Because if there wasn't any such thing as an office pool or a Bracket Manager, the simple fact that 32 FREAKING BASKETBALL GAMES, replete with the best teams the amateur game has to offer -- a beautiful collection of styles, stars and glorious match-ups and the opinions and reactions that come with all of it -- will be on two days in a row is seriously the greatest thing EVER. And it took that utter bracket confusion for me to totally realize this: For those that love basketball, this tournament isn't a competition, it's an exhibition. Or a celebration, or an adventure, or all the cheesy descriptions Jim Nantz can think of, except true and genuine. This is the one sports event where overstatement does not exist.

Come 12:15 Thursday, I will have my brackets in hand, rooting for whoever the meaningless hours of examination have led me to arbitrarily write their name on that line and if they lose, I'll be pissed and complain to whoever I'm watching the games with and pound the table. But I won't really be pissed. I'll be surrounded by basketball, without an office or classroom in sight, and I'll be filled with more excitement than I will be all year. Any emotion, whether it appear negative or positive, is finding a way to get release that excitement without bursting through the damn roof.

Announcers aren't allowed to care who wins, so I suppose, this year, I finally know what it's really like to be Gus Johnson. And I don't see how anyone can act differently.

The SSS 2008 NCAA Tournament Preview For Non-Psychics: Midwest Region

2008-03-19T20:49:00.003-04:00

Waxing poetic about how lovely the NCAA Tournament is seems a bit irrelevant at this point. Certainly "One Shining Moment" will provide a sort of grab-bag of sappiness at the end of the whole thing that will you make you go, "Man, I love March Madness," sigh while looking longingly into the middle distance and then go watch The Hills or something. Now is not the time for such nonsense. March Madness is great! Work sucks! Gus Johnson is so exciting! There, that's done with. What we all want right now is objective, cold-hearted analysis on which teams will prevail and how to win your office pools. I wholeheartedly hope you find something like that. Instead I offer my own brand of regional previews, based solely around enjoying the tournament as much as possible. I'd say "Enjoy" but that goes without saying this time of year.

Previously:
East Region
West Region
South Region

Here is your last region, the Midwest. For the record, I've got Louisville, UCLA and Stanford in the Final Four so far. And once again, be sure to check the great Awful Announcing, which has the first round announcers for each game that can be used for ~~Gus Johnson~~ referential purposes regarding this preview.

1st Round Games
1) Kansas vs. 16) Portland State- The Vikings are the best 16 seed this year, a team that has beaten conference runner-ups Akron and Ooey Pooey (IUPUI) this year and lost to UCLA by "just" 21 and Washington State by "just" 12. So for those of you looking for some fancy pants No. 16 over No. 1, perhaps you have found that opportunity. Now you just need Kansas to come down with a rampant case of the gout, which even the most frigid temperatures or unsavory skanks of Omaha could probably not provide. A less debilitating disease may produce a cover of the spread though.

8) UNLV vs. 9) Kent State- A good example of just how mediocre college basketball this year is UNLV. Last year's team, a No. 7 seed, had at least three players that would be the best on this year's squad, a No. 8 seed. Wink Adams, the only holdover from last year's Sweet 16 participant, will have a very entertaining battle with Kent State "star" Al Fisher. Both programs are used to the NCAAs and getting some wins when there. Actually both of these teams are pretty similar overall, especially in that they will both be destroyed by Kansas in the second round.

5) Clemson vs. 12) Villanova- Along with the underdog Temple Owls and St. Joe's Hawks, Villanova remains the god-forsaken city of Philadelphia's best chance of any postseason win in any of the major sports at any level in 15 months. The Sixers, a team that willfully employs Calvin Booth, and the Flyers, a team that plays hockey, would be the best chance if those three Big Five members fail... for the next six months. Think of this when you are watching the games over the next couple days, and pray that the inevitable riot does not spread across all of civilization. I Am Legend.

4) Vanderbilt vs. 13) Siena- This is everyone's big, special upset pick for this year, not necessarily because they know anything about Siena -- or Vandy for that matter -- but because people on TV are talking about it. I still don't understand why no network, in the history of TV, has actually kept track of how well its analysts' picks have done. I mean, I know the reasons why they do not, but it seems unlikely they could continue to get away with it. Let me set the standard: If Siena does not beat Vanderbilt, we boycott any form of televised Bracketeering... and publicly stone Joe Lunardi.

6) USC vs. 11) Kansas State- YESSSS. Even my shallowly snark-filled approach to this tourney cannot muster up some cynicism for this game. In 40 minutes an NBA scout can take care of 30 percent of the 2008 Draft's top ten. And with Wisconsin, Fullerton, Portland State, UNLV and Kent State also playing in Omaha (along with Kansas), the Selection Committee owes at least that much to those scouts. I'm completely lost on whether to consider KSU a good team or not and this smells of one of those games where you pick USC to go the Elite Eight and they get blasted with 40 and 15 from Beasley. Tim Floyd did easily handle a similarly constructed Kevin Durant-led Texas team last year, which didn't even have a Crazy Person for a head coach, so there's that.

3) Wisconsin vs. 14) Cal-State Fullerton- Another of the Selection Committee's sick, twisted jokes (they need to get a hobby or something), the superslow Badgers (306th in pace nationally) will face the ADDirific Titans (15th in pace nationally). Some people think Fullerton can pull this one off and it's not completely insane because of how well they shoot the ball, but CSF's porous defense can make even Wisconsin look like a modern-day team (rumor has it they still practice with peach baskets). The Badgers offense will be so free and loose compared to Big Ten play, well Bo Ryan might just have to Superman a Hoe:

7) Gonzaga vs. 10) Davidson- I'm as pissed as you about the Selection Committee's decision to recreate the BracketBusters tournament, but this is a freaking great basketball game right here. The Zags used to be just like Davidson, a mid-major with a bunch of nonathletic shooters that play smart, rebound and pass well, but have cashed in that success for some fancy All-Americans that have diminished their chemistry and ability to avoid hallucinating and openly weeping. Davidson, on the other hand, has embraced the style of the original Gonzaga, playing big-time non-conference opponents and making frequent tourney trips with a team that's led by a recent spelling bee champion. All kinds of literary themes going on in this one; hopefully the smarties at Davidson can explain them to Heytvelt. Relate it to Harold and Kumar and he'll be fine.

2) Georgetown vs. 15) UMBC- The Retrievers aren't terrible, even though their nickname would suggest such; I don't even think a youth league team would be caught dead wearing a jersey referring to themselves as a highly domesticated animal. UMBC can shoot a little bit and will probably win the turnover battle with a recently reckless Georgetown team. The Hoyas simply cannot put teams away with consistency so the longer the... uh... let's call them the Vampires... the longer the Vampires can keep the score within shouting distance, the longer G'Town will have to exert some of the energy they'll need against a tough Gonzaga or Davidson team two days later. By the way, Nantz and Packer are doing this one so look for plenty of "man's best friend" puns from Nantz and, with John Thompson, Jr. around, plenty of racism from Packer.

To Watch For
Game You Will Really Wish Gus Johnson Was Announcing- One of the more underrated things about Gus is how much he understands basketball. The guy can identify player's tendencies and teams' strengths and weaknesses like few other announcers. That being said, he knows next to nothing about the players, teams, coaches or conferences relevant to that season. For instance, Gus will quickly recognize that Stephen Curry has a quick release and an ability to use a jab step or perfectly use a screen to get a shot off against a bigger opponent and his trusty relationship with point guard Jason Richards, but he'll have to ask his partner how to pronounce Curry's first name. That's why I wish he was doing that Davidson-Gonzaga game, because it'll be like a really knowledgeable basketball fan watching great players like Stephen Curry or Jeremy Pargo or Austin Daye for the first time. And screaming like an insane maniac all the while.

Game You Should Be Thankful Jim Nantz IS NOT Announcing- If the big Hoyas-Retrievers game seems unbearable, just be thankful he isn't doing the USC-Kansas State game. "Hold the Mayo" lines would be flying like crazy and he would certainly accuse Davon Jefferson of trying to steal his wallet.

Thing That Will Get Stuck In Billy Packer's Craw- Oh my goodness, if they give him 30 seconds of air time to talk about USC and Kansas State and all the one-and-doners, he might lose control of his bladder.

Most Ironic Commercial- During that KSU-USC game, any commercial promoting the benefits for student-athletes of a complete college education .

(If you can't tell, I'm really excited for that game.)

Talking Points That Will Make Your Brain Want To Die- Davidson is very similar to how Gonzaga once was. There is a considerable amount of NBA talent in that 6-11 game. OJ Mayo and Bill Walker are friendly acquaintances. Any success by Villanova should be seen as ironic because it barely made the Tournament.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give CBS Execs Creamed Jeans- Davidson-Georgetown in Raleigh. A bunch of smart kids playing in the heart of North Carolina. Hmm, sounds familiar.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give Hoops Fans Creamed Jeans, CBS Execs Flaccidity- Nothing jumps out here but Gonzaga vs. Georgetown would be pretty great, especially because the Zags might have more raw talent. CBS probably wants Mr. Heytvelt out of there ASAP.

Best NBA Prospect- Answer unnecessary.

Best Panamanian Super Liga Prospect- Villanova forward Shane Clark has already put a down payment on a Canal-side home.... with a jetski!

Most Likely Teabagging Scenario- As much as Roy Hibbert seems like a nice young man... I hope Jeremy Pargo puts his balls up in Big Roy's face.... For entertainment purposes of course.

Most Unexpectedly Hot Cheerleaders- Despite their pending doom, I've gotta think the girls from Fullerton leave every other team from this region in the dust. Especially Wisconsin. Their team probably doubles as the shot put squad.

Oh, And The Winner Of The Damn Thing- Kansas should waltz to the Elite Eight, but who they face is anyone's guess. I like USC to advance through because they should match-up against very similar, defensive-minded teams (Wisconsin and Georgetown), but of course will have vastly superior talent (the biggest stylistic problem they will face will be KSU actually). The Trojans just really need to take care of the ball against those two. The Jayhawks only beat USC by four back in December at the Galen Center and I think KU can win another close one and go on to San Antonio.

The SSS 2008 NCAA Tournament Preview For Non-Psychics: South Region

2008-03-19T09:18:00.003-04:00

Waxing poetic about how lovely the NCAA Tournament is seems a bit irrelevant at this point. Certainly "One Shining Moment" will provide a sort of grab-bag of sappiness at the end of the whole thing that will you make you go, "Man, I love March Madness," sigh while looking longingly into the middle distance and then go watch The Hills or something. Now is not the time for such nonsense. March Madness is great! Work sucks! Gus Johnson is so exciting! There, that's done with. What we all want right now is objective, cold-hearted analysis on which teams will prevail and how to win your office pools. I wholeheartedly hope you find something like that. Instead I offer my own brand of regional previews, based solely around enjoying the tournament as much as possible. I'd say "Enjoy" but that goes without saying this time of year.

Previously:
East Region
West Region

This here is the South. I'm gonna do the Midwest this afternoon or for tomorrow morning. I still haven't filled out my "serious" brackets yet, so we'll see.

By the way, Awful Announcing has the first round announcers for each game, so check that out for ~~Gus Johnson~~ referential purposes in this preview.

1st Round Games
1) Memphis vs. 16) Texas-Arlington- John Calipari might be the one coach in America that could convince me to pick his team for the Final Four even if I had no intentions to do so. Every interview I have seen or read with him is either some serious politicking or some serious car salesman shtick. "We made 75 percent of our foul shots in the C-USA tournament." "We would have been the No. 1 overall seed if we made a two-footer against Tennessee." "Before this tournament, my team only used their feet to go from their house to the grocery store."

8) Mississippi State vs. 9) Oregon- This is my favorite 8-9 game because I think both teams could give Honest John and his Tigers a scare in Round 2. It's a tough one to pick because you have Oregon's highly efficient, perimeter-oriented, sweet shooting offense against the Bulldogs great defense, anchored by Jarvis Varnado protecting the rim. So let's ask Digger Phelps what he thinks:

"When you look at Mississippi State and Oregon, I think you gotta talk about Lamont Gordon. He's got size when you look at the point guard position.... Charles Rhodes..... And, when you look at Oregon.... can this team play well enough to get it done and get to the next round?... Shooting the ball from the three point line, dribble the ball, try to keep the other team from scoring... I think Mississippi State can get it done, Why?... Look for them to scare Memphis in the next round.... Ben Hansbrough."

Thanks Digger.

5) Michigan State vs. 12) Temple- This is a real interesting game between Temple, which didn't really start playing basketball until the last month and Michigan State, which changes the sport it plays from game to game. Temple, and its two-man scoring attack of Mark Tyndale and Dionte Christmas, can win this game if they don't get killed on the glass. Meanwhile, the Spartans have lost to Penn State, scored 36 in a GAME against Iowa and lost to a D-II school in the preseason. But they also beat Indiana by 30 two weeks ago. Drew Neitzel, the preseason SSS Most Hated White Guy, hasn't been good enough to hate all season long but showed some real signs of punchability in the Big Ten tourney. I just pray he got a barb wire tattoo to reward himself or maybe a spoiler for his Hyundai. Then all will be well.

4) Pittsburgh vs. 13) Oral Roberts- For those of you jumping blindly onto the Pitt bandwagon, fear this game. "Oral," as sick, twisted rich white men will undoubtedly call them jokingly ("I picked Pitt but my wife picked Oral! Haha (high fives). Let's go punch some poor people!"), has more size than the Panthers on the front line, and use that size to anchor a strong defense. I know Pitt just beat Georgetown, Louisville and Marquette, but it also was crushed by West Virginia and needed a miracle to beat Syracuse just a week or two earlier. If they don't get that absurd free throw advantage they got in the Big East tourney (and ORU is one of the better teams in the nation at not sending opponents to the line), Bob Knight's senility-induced champion pick could have some trouble.

6) Marquette at 11) Kentucky- I'm starting to like this Marquette team and I'm not sure why anyone (read: Digger Phelps) thinks Kentucky can win without Patrick Patterson. The Golden Eagles used to win games by simply forcing opponents to assault the backboard more violently than them (or by just having Dwyane Wade), but this year, they suddenly have multiple scoring options in Dominic James, Jerel McNeal, Lazar Heyward, Wes Mathews and Maurice Acker. And on a completely unrelated note, has anyone else noticed that Hubert Davis, once a legitimately interesting and entertaining analyst, has recently adopted Digger's analysis style? Everything is, "When you look at" and "When you talk about" and then he just turns an entire analysis into an incoherent run-on sentence with random non sequiturs of players names and cliched aspects of the game. (I mean, look at this and tell me Hubert hasn't been doing the same thing but with just less Alzheimer's... I've been watching way too much ESPN this week.)

3) Stanford at 14) Cornell- Man! These schools are so smart! It's like the Selection Committee did this on purpose! Are they going to decide this game with a spelling bee!? Are the players going to study for finals on the bench?! Are the alumni going to be able to take off from Congress to watch the game?!
/sorry

7) Miami vs. 10) St. Mary's- The most boring 7-10 match-up of the tourney in an otherwise outstanding region as far as entertaining basketball goes, both teams come into the game in a slump and little chance of advancing to the second weekend. So why even play the game, you ask? Well because Gaels' freshman point Patty Mills is from Australia and CBS needs to use that fancy graphic with the facts about Australia and references to Survivor in more than just the Vanderbilt game. Everyone wins. Sorta.

2) Texas vs. 15) Austin Peay- For those of you who like small ball, this is the game for you. Texas' 6-9 Connor Atchley is going to feel like Kenny George in this game with the Governors sporting zero regular rotation players over 6-5. This is one of those weird 5:00 p.m. ET games that occurs in the purgatory between the early games and the primetime games. You know, where people stumble out of the sports bars and wander the streets like zombies looking for something, anything, as exciting as the basketball they just watched. This is where you have people cheering for car crashes or for someone to get mugged in front of them. Then they look down at their bracket and realize they had "Texas." At which point it's time to go home. God I love March Madness.

To Watch For
Game You Should Really Want Gus Johnson Announcing- Like I said yesterday, we already know which games Gus is doing, but it's fun to dream, right? Besides the Temple-Michigan State game ("And Christmas has come early for Dionte and the Owls!!! AHHHHHHHH!") and the Pitt-Oral Roberts game ("And the Oral feels so good!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!"... notice the absolutely crucial but simple difference between him and Nantz? It's "AHHHHHH!!!!!") I'd like Gus to do the Texas-Austin Peay game for the chance to hear him scream Austin PEAYYYYYYY in an exuberant manner, just to see what it ends up sounding like.

Game You Should Be Thankful Jim Nantz IS NOT Announcing- Again, Nantz is doing the Raleigh games with UNC and Georgetown. But I cannot even fathom the complete and utter lameness with which he would call that Stanford-Cornell game. He'd probably just start talking about sailing and making fun of homeless people out of familiarity of his surroundings. Plus there will be tens of Lopez twin-related puns ("Stanford and the Lopez twins: twice as nice!")

Thing That Will Get Stuck In Billy Packer's Craw- I can guarantee Packer is downright furious that St. Mary's got in, but has no problem whatsoever with Kentucky making the field.

Most Ironic Commercial- Those completely incoherent IBM consulting commercials will look like a Miller Lite ad to those interested in the Stanford/Cornell game.

Talking Points That Will Make Your Brain Want To Die- Memphis' free throw shooting will doom them. Kentucky was once not as successful this season as they presently are. Texas will be playing the regionals in a place considerably closer to campus than others.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give CBS Execs Creamed Jeans- Pittsburgh vs. Michigan State would be a massive collection of sludge to watch, but for some reason CBS loves coaches, especially Tom Izzo. And they would have the guy they once shunned but now love because they need bloggers and Internet writers to tell them what normal people actually like, Gus Johnson, overseeing the Izzo/Dixon lovefest. (Don't let them get you, Gus, please don't.)

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give Hoops Fans Creamed Jeans, CBS Execs Flaccidity- I can't recall a team that has been so good recently that has received so little national media attention as Oregon. Less than 5 percent of the population knows that the Ducks were very close to making the Final Four last year and have been to the Elite Eight twice in the past five years. This year, they have one of the most efficient, exciting offenses in the nation and most talking heads were incensed they got in the tournament. Well I want to see them play Memphis really badly because it would be a fast-paced, insanely athletic festival of scoring and because the Ducks shoot the ball so much better than Memphis, could be an upset.

Best NBA Prospect- Brook Lopez and Derrick Rose should go No. 2 and No. 3 respectively, behind Michael Beasley, if both enter this year's draft. And it really shouldn't be disputed.

Best Taiwan League A Prospect- St. Mary's center Omar Samhan is already being hailed the next "King of Taipei".... but only in closed circles for fear of Communist backlash from China.

Most Likely Teabagging Scenario- Derrick Rose hasn't really broken one off yet this year. Nothing like the Mavericks of Texas-Arlington to cure what ails ya.

Most Unexpectedly Hot Cheerleaders- Although there might not be any sun up in the Pacific Northwest, it appears there are certainly tanning salons and other reasons for obscenely attractive females to attend school there. For more on the Oregon cheerleaders go to the possibly great, most certainly criminal in some way or another, Pac-10 Poon.

Oh, And The Winner Of The Damn Thing- It's going to be tough for Memphis to just get to the regional finals, but I think they will have one of those Ohio State type runs where they look like crap for awhile and then barely avoid upset. In the bottom half, a Texas-Stanford Sweet 16 game would be incredibly awesome. I think Brook Lopez is going to be the breakout star of this tournament. I'll go against the Houston thing and take Stanford to meet Memphis, play a zone with the Lopez twins making any points in the paint impossible, force the Tigers to shoot threes, get Dorsey in foul trouble and the Cardinal will be a surprise Final Four team.

The SSS 2008 NCAA Tournament Preview For Non-Psychics: West Region

2008-03-18T10:34:00.004-04:00

Waxing poetic about how lovely the NCAA Tournament is seems a bit irrelevant at this point. Certainly "One Shining Moment" will provide a sort of grab-bag of sappiness at the end of the whole thing that will you make you go, "Man, I love March Madness," sigh while looking longingly into the middle distance and then go watch The Hills or something. Now is not the time for such nonsense. March Madness is great! Work sucks! Gus Johnson is so exciting! There, that's done with. What we all want right now is objective, cold-hearted analysis on which teams will prevail and how to win your office pools. I wholeheartedly hope you find something like that. Instead I offer my own brand of regional previews, based solely around enjoying the tournament as much as possible. I'd say "Enjoy" but that goes without saying this time of year.

Previously:
East Region

Today we go out West. Look for South and Midwest tomorrow and Thursday morning.

By the way, Awful Announcing has the first round announcers for each game, so check that out for ~~Gus Johnson~~ referential purposes in this preview.

1st Round Games
1) UCLA vs. 16) Mississippi Valley State: The outstanding Jim Varney, master of his craft, never made an "Ernest Goes To Hollywood" movie, but I would imagine the story of the Delta Devils' adventures this week should fill that void.

8) BYU vs. 9) Texas A & M: Probably the most boring first round match-up of closely matched seeds, there are gonna be a ton of dump downs and entry passes in this one with Trent Plaisted (BYU), Joseph Jones (A & M) and the Ghost of DeAndre Jordan (A & M) (and his 50 percent of actually showing up for a game). Both teams play solid defense but really struggle with shot-making at times. Man I'm pumped for this game.

5) Drake vs. 12) Western Kentucky: I'm not going to make a Love the Drake joke because everyone in the damn country, including human Ambien dispensers Seth Davis and Hubert Davis, has been making them all week. I think I was the first person lame enough to make this joke, so I feel as though it and I have come to the end of the road. We had a good run Love the Drake joke, no regrets. Anyway, this game would be a great Bracketbusters match-up, an event the Selection Committee apparently decided not to watch because they tried to recreate it. Drake is a really good team -- they are almost more "Butler" than Butler if that doesn't make your brain hurt -- but this will be a close game no matter what. The Hilltoppers (real nickname) are a like-minded team that can shoot the ball just like the Bulldogs. Their star is Courtney Lee, who is going to get his no matter what, but it'll come down to one other Hilltopper stepping up.

4) Connecticut vs. 13) San Diego: I'm excited for the Hasheem Thabeet vs. Gyno Pomare match-up which should decide who gets to be the challenger to Kenny George's title of "Guy Who Stumbles Into the Most Fouls." Generally it would be Pomare in a 8th round TKO, but Thabeet really showed me some uncoordination in the Big East tourney. Should be thrilling. There is a faint whiff of growing Torero support in this one but I'm not sure why. Yes, the Huskies struggled down the stretch but when you are more talented at every single position, you are probably going to win. I don't see Whale's Vagina scoring 60 points in this one and there's no way it dominates the inside against UConn like it did against Gonzaga.

6) Purdue vs. 11) Baylor: Thus begins this year's Pod of Dullness, the four teams (along with Xavier and Georgia, seen below) that make up the "pod" with the lowest quality of basketball. Lucky for me, I will be there Saturday in DC to see which squad can emerge from this trough of slop. Alcohol will surely be in the equation. This game should actually be somewhat entertaining despite being fairly meaningless in the overall scheme of this tournament. The Boilermakers are led by freshman ~~Professor Frink~~ Robbie Hummel but it will be their ball pressure of Baylor's outstanding quintet of guards, led by Curtis Jerrels, that decides this game. Purdue doesn't really have a rim protector so they need to keep all those fellas out of the lane and if they don't, at least stay at home on the shooters. I like Baylor to pull the upset and an Xavier-Baylor second round game actually doesn't sound so excruciating anymore.

3) Xavier vs. 14) Georgia: The Musketeers like to get after the ball on the defensive end and, on paper, it would seem the containment on Sundiata Gaines and Billy Humphrey (who is not, in fact, a cock-eyed optimist) is paramount to avoiding an upset. But in reality, the key for Xavier is going to be stopping God. The senior deity was the breakout performer for the Bulldogs in their amazing SEC Championship run. He has a strong right hand (Jesus) and a nice stroke from on high. Sean Miller needs to find a way to stop his drive-and-smite game and slow him down on offense like the Old Testament, and Arkansas, could not.

7) West Virginia vs. 10) Arizona: This is a Gus Johnson Special if there ever was one. But alas, we are stuck with Craig Bolerjack (real person) and Bob Wenzel. Surely those two nondescript folks will be all a twitter by Joe Alexander, Everyone's New Favorite White Guy, and his match-up with Chase Budinger. I'm not as concerned with that head-to-head match; it should be a wash and I don't see any way the Cats let Alexander go off. This one should come down to West Virginia getting consistent scoring from someone else to match Jerryd Bayless' production. If they can't get Jordan Hill, a guy the Mountaineers cannot match up with, in foul trouble, it'll be a long night but since he starts every game with two fouls (I think), that shouldn't be a problem.

2) Duke vs. 15) Belmont: Duke will either win this by 30 or lose. It's going to be an 80 possession game with at least 60 threes combined between the two teams and absolutely no semblance of a post player to be found. I'm dead serious when I say Belmont can win this game. They just need to hit about 15 threes and hope Duke hits about seven. But that's about as good a chance as any 15-seed can hope for, right? Again, another Gus Johnson Special. We need to get this man to DC ASAP. Although if we do, he might look like this by Saturday.

(Note: This is outstanding.)

To Watch For
Game You Should Really Want Gus Johnson Announcing- Yeah we already spoke about this. Turns out he's doing the Denver games, which includes the Michigan State/Temple/ Oral Roberts/ Pitt pod and the Washington State/ Winthrop/ Notre Dame/ George Mason pod. Not bad games for his greatness, especially because he has Mason. I trust him far better to call a potential Patriots upset than the punny creepiness of Jim Nantz.

Game You Should NOT Want Jim Nantz Announcing- Drake vs. Western Kentucky. Not that there is any way Nantz has ever watched/enjoyed Seinfeld -- he seems like a "Two And A Half Men" or "Mad About You" guy to me -- but I've gotta think he'd enlist up-and-coming comedian Seth Davis to help him out with some sweet Love the Drake puns. Plus if Western Kentucky wins, it'll be "And Western Kentucky has topped the first hill" or something vomit-inducing like that.

Thing That Will Get Stuck In Billy Packer's Craw- Something about BYU refusing to play on Sundays. Back in his day, "Mormon" was just another word for homosexual.

(Note: Nantz and Packer will be doing the Raleigh site with UNC's game, the Indiana-Arkansas game and the pod with Gonzaga/ Davidson/ Georgetown/ UMBC. So Kelvin Sampson and Josh Heytvelt, you're on notice.)

Most Ironic Commercial- Any Bud Light commercial during a West Virginia game. We all know West Virginia fans can't afford Bud Light.
/ducks

Talking Points That Will Make Your Brain Want To Die- Anything on the Coach K/Mike D'Antoni thing, even though the Suns don't even run that type of offense anymore. AJ Price as laptop stealer turned adopted son of Jim Calhoun will be popular too. Joe Alexander as the next coming of Larry Bird or, worst case scenario, Christ.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give CBS Execs Creamed Jeans-West Virginia-Duke would be right up CBS' wheelhouse in terms of pure whiteness and asshole coaches to deify. They would definitely hide the Carlos Mencia commercials for that one.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give Hoops Fans Creamed Jeans, CBS Execs Flaccidity- The aforementioned Baylor-Xavier game would be complete madness in terms of fun, guard-oriented basketball, but I think I speak for everyone when I say, I WANT ARIZONA-DUKE. Kevin O'Neill's gruffness with the media and deliberate, ball screen-laden offense wouldn't really boost the aesthetic value of a Duke/Coach K game that CBS would hope for, but there would be too much damn talent on that court to not be a classic.

Best NBA Prospect- Kevin Love is superdreamy but I think Russell Westbrook is going to be a damned assassin in the pros. I suppose Jerryd Bayless is a nice player too.

Best Latvian First Division Prospect- West Virginia's Jamie Smalligan is rumored to already have an offer to endorse Spilva, Latvia's leading provider of atrocious looking foods, when he graduates.

Most Likely Teabagging Scenario- Russell Westbrook will not leave Anaheim without embarrassing a Delta Devil.

Unexpectedly Hot Cheerleaders- In a region with UCLA, Georgia and Arizona, there's something oddly attractive about hooking up with a BYU cheerleader. And, of course, with some grit, determination and arcane legislative loopholes, you could hook up with all of the BYU cheerleaders.

(Note: If this page and the West Virginia "sports" "site," We Must Ignite This Couch, that contains it doesn't explain that state quite accurately, I don't know what would.)

Oh, And The Winner Of The Damn Thing- In a bracket that looks to heavily favor the chalk, if there is a half of a region that has the capability of producing a really weird Elite Eight participant, it's the bottom half of the West. I wouldn't be surprised if any of the top six seeds down there make the regional final against UCLA, which could have a tough game against UConn in the Sweet 16. The Bruins go to the Final Four and I still like them to win it all.

The 2008 Pod Of Doom, Pod of Dullness

2008-03-17T21:47:00.005-04:00

Yes Bo, I have the same reaction when I look at your portion of my bracket.

OK, so I've finally started digging into this here bracket and filling out the games. I tend to fill out my bracket in groups of four. Taking each first and second round site and treating that as an individual tournament and moving on from there. These are called "pods" in Bracketspeak and they are the seemingly retarded idea of the NCAA to "limit" travel time for schools. Of course, like most pointless things the NCAA tries, this doesn't work and you've got Butler traveling to Alabama to play South Alabama or Gonzaga going to Raleigh to play Davidson. On top of that, there always seems to be one or two pods that are impossible to pick. These generally end up being very costly in the end because you have a team capable of making a Final Four stuck with a difficult first or second round game. One false move and you're finished.

Last year that pod was the one with Louisville and Texas A & M as the No. 6 and No. 3 seed respectively. I liked Louisville a lot but I loved A & M. I picked A & M to beat the Cardinals and go to the Final Four, knowing my bracket could be finished in Round 2. Thanks to some Edgar Sosa missed free throws I narrowly escaped this fate, but was doomed by a missed lay-up by Acie Law down the stretch of the Aggies Sweet 16 game with Memphis.

On the flip side, there are some pods that are impossible to pick because the teams involved are so bad. This generally includes teams that were moved up or down on the S Curve or struggled down the stretch. Usually these teams are very boring, have a pretty ambiguous identity and few household names. Last year it was the pod where No. 6 Notre Dame played No. 11 Winthrop and No. 3 Oregon played No. 14 Miami (Ohio) in the Midwest region. I though the Redbirds had a good chance to beat Oregon in that game and they almost did, losing by two. I was pretty confident Winthrop could pull an upset too, and they did. So I had all sorts of different combos in my different pools, none of which had Oregon coming out of that group. Worse yet, I was dead set on Florida, which was in the top half of that region, being the champ so it didn't even really matter who would come out of that portion; they would just be crushed by the Gators. But you still lose a lot of points. So when the Ducks made the Elite Eight after barely avoiding a massive upset, I got screwed.

So you get the idea. I've poured over the field this year and here are my two pods that could ultimately decide your fate.

Pod Of Doom:
Midwest Region, No. 6 USC vs. No. 11 Kansas State; No. 3 Wisconsin vs. No. 14 Cal State Fullerton- This one is being played in Omaha so none of the teams really have a clear-cut advantage, save for maybe KSU. Wisconsin is getting a lot of hype to come out of the bottom of that region but have probably the toughest No. 14 for them to match up with. Fullerton plays really fast and shoots the ball well. Wisconsin plays really slow and could struggle to score consistently in a high possession game. If Fullerton can speed up the game, it has a chance. Then you got USC-Kansas State which has the potential to make all the numbers irrelevant and turn into an AAU game. You've gotta like Tim Floyd's team in this game -- they killed Kevin Durant's Texas team in the NCAAs last year -- but when you have the best player like the Wildcats do, there is no telling what can happen. If it is Wisconsin-USC in the second round, that game is just as tough to predict. Both teams play great defense and like a half-court game. USC has much more talent but the more experienced Badgers play with a poise the young Trojans don't always have.

To make matters worse, the winner of this pod will play the winner of the Gonzaga- Davidson- Georgetown- UMBC pod, which isn't terrible, but still would not be a safe pick against Wisconsin or USC. So you have three teams -- USC, Wisconsin and KSU -- capable of making an Elite Eight run, but also very capable of losing in the first round.

The Reluctant Pick: USC

Others Considered
East: No. 5 Notre Dame vs. No. 12 George Mason; No. 4 Washington St. vs. No. 13 Winthrop
West: No. 5 Drake vs. No. 12 Western Kentucky; No. 4 UConn vs. No. 13 San Diego
South: No. 6 Marquette vs. No. 11 Kentucky; No. 3 Stanford vs. No. 14 Cornell

Pod of Dullness:
West, No. 6 Purdue vs. No. 11 Baylor; No. 3 Xavier vs. No. 14 Georgia- I suppose "dullness" isn't quite the right word for this one with some exciting teams there, but certainly none of these teams will be winning a second weekend game. The winner of this plays Duke, West Virginia or Arizona, none of which should lose to any of these teams (if the Wildcats or Mountaineers win two games, chances are they are playing well enough to be favored against Xavier or Purdue). With the exception of Georgia, all three of these teams played pretty poorly in their respective conference tournaments. Xavier lost to St. Joe's in the semis, Baylor lost in the first round to Colorado and Purdue lost to Illinois in the quarters. The Boilermakers and Bears have been pretty inconsistent this year and their game will probably just come down to which team is hoisting threes at a more accurate rate and who will prevail in the battle between Baylor's great guards and Purdue's great ball pressure. And as good as the Musketeers have been, they are playing Georgia and the Bulldogs' incredible momentum, chip-on-the-shoulder and quite possibly God himself.

Depending on your pool's format, there are some potentially make-or-break points riding on this teeming pile of mediocrity that will take place in DC, even if any further victories are a long shot (full disclosure: I am attending the second round games in DC Saturday and am none too pleased to be attending this year's Pod of Dullness; all angst will be taken out on Duke fans).

The Reluctant Pick: Xavier

Others Considered
Midwest: No. 5 Clemson vs. No. 12 Villanova; No. 4 Vanderbilt vs. No. 13 Siena;
South: No. 1 Memphis vs. No. 16 Texas-Arlington; No. 8 Mississippi State vs. No. 9 Oregon