Live Gamelog: Duke at UNC

Alright here we go. Everyone knows how much fun this little shindig is going to be, although judging by the ESPN promos and the idiot announcers from the Syracuse-UConn game, I'm supposed to be more excited about Dickie V than, you know, two of the top three teams in the country playing each other.

Ty Lawson is going to dress but probably won't play apparently. Greg Paulus is only wearing one ankle brace instead of the usual four.

If you want some sort of analysis previewing this game, check out this or this.

1st Half
20:00- Extremely close and disgusting shot of some foreign students saying "rivalry" in different languages to start the game. Unfortunately this game is NOT on ESPN Deportes. By the way, there are some serious flaws with Hi-Definition television... and Mike Patrick's head is one of them.

Dick says he never dreamed he would back in the broadcast booth. Neither did we Dick, neither did we.

Oh, wait we have to talk about the game? Darn, might as well chuck some starting lineups in there, then. I wanted to hear more about the cysts in a 68-year-old man's throat. Can they put some physician photos in the corner?

19:47- Greg "Pimp G" Paulus drains a three right off the bat. I'm telling you, he's the Eli Manning of college hoops.

Continue...

18:25- 8-5 UNC. Big old giant block by Henderson. Dirtness. But Hansbrough gets a put back. Patrick is going to be using "Psyco T" A LOT tonight folks. He's trying to appeal to the young, hip crowd. Might want to drop the phrase "holy cow" from the vocabulary first there buddy.

14:54- 12-10 UNC at first TV timeout. Really entertaining thus far. Psycho T has looked pretty great... and pretty crazy. Besides the crazy person eyes, he seriously looks like he just has no control of his emotions. Almost like he's terrified of himself. Next to "weaknesses" on his NBA Draft profile, it should say, "undersized for the pros, limited range, afraid of the demons within, foul shooting." But seriously he's showing a face-up game tonight and there's gonna be tons of scouts watching so good for him.

13:17- 16-13 UNC. Some fella named Graves is in for UNC. I mean, is the Lawson injury really that debilitating? Graves?

12:39- 18-13 UNC. Graves!

12:27- 18-13 UNC. Paulus burrows his way to a cheap foul, is assassinated. And then Quentin Thomas pulls a Paulus Circa 2007 (a stupid turnover). Heels fans ready their post-game excuses.

11:33- 18-18. Scheyer, who was monstrous in the Duke-UNC game I gamelogged (or "glogged") last season, drains a three. After that game, I predicted a career plagued by a creative plethora of taunts regarding his sexuality and family members put in erotic positions, but he seems to have gotten off easy. Probably not punchable enough.

Stacey Dales, who just got out of an audition for Melrose Place, shows some "Wanted" poster for Gerald Henderson that those crafty UNC fans made. It says "Wanted" and shows his face. Best and the brightest down there at Chapel Hill.

9:43- 27-20 Duke. Patrick inexplicably brings up Zoubek's injury in regards to the current 15-5 rebounding margin in favor of the Heels. Scheyer saves us all by interrupting him with a three. Then a charge on UNC, then a three by Pimp G. Then a bucket by Thomas. Then ANOTHER three by Singler.

Dickie V: "Gotta love making the threes." Never lost a step Dick.

9:00- 27-20 Duke. Another awful turnover by Q. Might have to suck it up there Ty. Where's Wes Miller when you need him?... Oh, apparently writing books. Hmm.

8:20- 27-22 Duke. Vitale: "So great to be back. I don't wanna get too emotional here." Yes Dick, thanks for keeping your emotions in check. Very professional. Now what were you shouting about dipsy doos and dunkeroos?

6:34- 31-23 Duke. Oh boy. Another really bad turnover by Thomas leads to an easy lay-up. They then show a montage of his mistakes. I always liked Quentin Thomas, but this is brutal.

5:53- 31-24 Duke. Some thrilling discourse on how hard it is to say "rivalry" and "rural." Speaking of slow... UNC looks much more sluggish than Duke right now and Ty Lawson probably wouldn't be helping all that much. Singler burns Hansbrough, who then turns over the inbounds. 35-26 Duke.

4:00- 39-29 Duke. A series of incredibly lame jokes by Vitale, one relating to lasagna, another relating to his poor SAT scores. No comment, just wanted to chronicle the type of shit us viewers have to deal with. Kinda like a time capsule of inanity.

3:40- 42-31 Duke. Heels go zone despite seven threes already by Duke. And what to do the Devils do? Knock down a three, courtesy of Pimp G.

3:00- 42-31 Duke. Dickie V may have just referred to Stacey Dales as "Cindy." Not sure.

2:06- 42-33 Duke. Vitale talking to Hubert Davis: "I wonder who Hubert is rooting for? Is he gonna be objective tonight (baby)?" Pot. Kettle. Black.

1:08- 42-35 Duke. Vitale talks about another charity thing he's doing and I feel like an ass.

Half- 42-39 Duke. HUGE 8-0 run by UNC to cut the lead to three by half on a nice pass from Thomas (thank God) to Hansbrough. Much like the first meeting last year, UNC plays pretty bad and is right in the game. Duke's hit eight threes, the Heels have gotten nothing in transition and have turned it over twice as much as Duke and yet they are down three. The game is as we have expected to a degree: Duke wins by spreading the court and taking advantage of quickness, UNC dominates the glass and Hansbrough is unguardable (18 points; and Thompson has nine too). Duke can't shoot like this the whole game.

As for Vitale, he seems a bit rusty tonight. I mean, not once have I wanted to pour this piping hot queso in my ears. He's probably on orders from either his doctor or Perverted Justice to keep the Diaper Dandy exultations to a minimum, though. I actually think I hate Mike Patrick more at this point. He is just clueless and can't even sniff a relevant point about actual basketball. And I am absolutely positive that he smells weird.

2nd Half
19:00- 42-41 Duke. Dirty cross by Quentin Thomas for a lay-up. Good for him. Not to be outdone, Paulus drains another three, his fourth of the game. Eli. Manning. Of Football. Then a Thompson bucket +1, a Nelson three (Duke has 10) and another filthy crossover by Thomas for a bucket. There's always the And 1 Tour, Q. Great action right now.

17:35- 51-46 Duke. Pimp G drains ANOTHER three. Hide your daughters men of Chapel Hill. He's seeing triple tonight, if you know what I mean.
/shudders

16:42- 51-49 Duke. First Diaper Dandy reference. Chris Hanson is a few minutes away already.

15:08- 57-51 Duke. Patrick on Roy Williams' vertigo: "It's easy to lose your balance with that."
/stunned silence

13:50- 58-51 Duke. Taylor King comes in, clangs a three, gets it back and airballs a three. A nation rejoices.

12:30- 58-51 Duke. The EXACT same collision in the paint on each end, UNC called for a charge first; Vitale: "I could've made that call with my eyes closed." Duke then called for a charge; Vitale: "That was absolutely not a charge."

9:28- 62-57 Duke. Vitale: "OHH, North Carolina-Duke. CALL YOUR FRIENDS UP, CALL YOUR FRIENDS UP. IT'S SPECIAL BABY." That's what I was waiting for. The thing where he's too old to yell and form complete sentences at the same time.

Me: Hey man.
Friend: Yo what's up?
Me: Uhh... it's special baby.
Friend: I always thought you were gay.

7:08- 68-62 Duke. TV timeout. Honestly, despite all the idiocy from the announcers, this has been an incredible game. Obviously not what it could've been had Lawson played but pretty damn entertaining nonetheless. There have been so many incredible plays of individual talent (did you see that pass by Quentin Thomas and then the block by Lance Thomas?). Gonna take a break from the ripping on Vitale/Patrick (maybe) to enjoy the basketball for a little while.

5:33- 74-65 Duke. Greg Paulus, who shall now forever be known as Pimp G, buries another three. I fully expect him to wear a silk suit and a fedora to the press conference after the game and answer reporters' questions by quoting Public Enemy or something.

1:26- 82-73 Duke. Alright I'm back. You can't really blame him because he's won them a couple games this year, but Wayne Ellington shot the Heels out of this one. Duke CANNOT stop Hansbrough and yet Ellington wasted possessions trying to get his stroke back.

0:54- 83-78 Duke. Wild exchange. Q. Thomas, who is having an outstanding second half that has probably saved his life, finds Hansbrough like a non-idiot, Hansbrough misses. Paulus grabs the loose ball in the corner, throws a pass that hits the net of UNC's basket, Ellington grabs it and kicks it out to Green for a three. Normal shit doesn't happen in this rivalry.

0:23- 88-78 Duke. Heels throw away the inbounds. Ballgame.
Final
89-78 Duke.
Really entertaining game. These teams are about even if UNC has Lawson, with a slight edge to Duke probably. This game basically came down to the Heels not being quick enough to guard Duke's spread, drive and kick offense, Duke hitting an absurd amount of threes and Ellington/Green, who usually combine for 28 per game, only getting 11 total. Keep in mind, these two teams are playing for that East regional No. 1 seed (that Vitale wouldn't shut up about) which never leaves North Carolina before the Final Four. But due to the suckiness of the ACC, it's basically a three-game series (this one, @Duke, ACC final) for that spot. So don't get your panties in a bunch Duke fans.

And as for the extra-curriculars, like I've said before, Duke is not very hateable this year. And while Vitale was annoying, it was mild and it was certainly an added element to have him back. Oh and Mike Patrick is a freaking idiot. But we knew that.

The Post Where I Talk About Duke and UNC

Note: Tune in tomorrow for a fancy gamelog of tonight's game, replete with Dick Vitale jokes. I did one last year, too. It's a tradition just like this game!

I had originally planned some giant opus on the Duke-UNC rivalry, posturing on its cultural significance, the place within the cosmos of all its participants and, inevitably, some bit on how obnoxious Dick Vitale is. But as much as I enjoy the medium of a "blog" and its glorious place in this crazy sports world, us folk certainly do have a tendency to write -- many, many times over -- what could be best summed up far more succinctly and by perfectly capable beings much closer to the topic at hand. It's great for everyone to have a voice, but sometimes we need to make sure the voices of the masses don't drown out the voice that deserves most to be heard.

And when it comes to Duke-UNC, I don't think I could ever provide a more, compelling, insightful, earnest and downright moving portrayal than Will Blythe's book To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever, a book that seems to be mentioned a lot around this time of year, but given the appalling amount of ignorant, filled-with-hate-just-because hoops fans out there, probably hasn't been read by nearly enough people. It is my favorite sports book I have read to date (and he wrote a great piece on the game last year for Deadspin). Blythe, the former literary editor at Esquire, is a native North Carolinian, Chapel Hill grad and raging Heel fan. His book is not filled with ranting diatribes about AmEx commercials or the Crazies or Christian Laettner -- those are in still in there though, just not prominent -- instead opting to examine the true rivalry, the one that only those very close to either program can understand and the one completely obscured to 95 percent of hoops fans who choose to take a side in Duke-UNC.

It's not a matter of competition, it's a matter of culture. Duke, a small, private school filled predominantly with wealthy, out-of-state students is the antithesis of North Carolina. Duke is an infestation to a state that most North Carolinians have a very intimate relationship with, far more intimate than the transient New Yorkers or New Jersey-ites that end up at Duke have with their home state. North Carolina, and the university bearing its name -- a big, public university made up of many in-state students -- has a completely different culture than Duke. It is based heavily in Christian values; humility, family, hard work... and basketball. So when North Carolinians see this team of elite Northerners (and regardless of the players' actual backgrounds, they see the team as merely an athletic representation of the student body and the school's foundation) trying to best them at the one thing they hold dearest, and do it in a way (flopping, cursing, taunting) to which they simply cannot relate, well that's more than just wanting to win a basketball game. That's war.

And the best part about the book is the way this rivalry pertains to many other aspects of the author's life. When he moves to New York for career success and a fast-paced lifestyle, he feels as though he's betrayed his family and his state. He feels like a Dukie. And when his father becomes ill and he needs to move home, it takes that rivalry -- his love for the Heels ( symbolic of his roots, his family) and his hatred for Duke (symbolic of his Northern betrayal and his self-sufficient attitude) -- to allow him to truly appreciate the people he loves, the state he loves and the team he loves.

Now, THAT is a reason to care about this game. And, tonight, while most of us will scream at the TV, complaining about Duke's preferential calls, Greg Paulus' flopping, Taylor King's obnoxiousness or Coach K's complaints -- and bloggers and national media will write about all that tomorrow as well -- we will all, as a nation of hoops fans, think we really hate Duke. But the truth is, in the state of North Carolina -- where this rivalry actually matters -- the only voice they hear is the one coming from the other cushion on the couch.

The End Is Near: Duke Might Be Likable

I need to tread lightly with this post, but here goes.

I have hated Duke basically as long as I've been a basketball fan. It used to be for the same reasons as everyone else. They were rich, cocky and white, with usually their coach and a few select stars carrying the torch of douchebaggery for that oh so cultured student section. Sure, there were a ton of Duke players that do not exhibit any of these traits. Grant Hill, Carlos Boozer, Elton Brand... actually, any player that succeeded in the NBA was alright in my book. Those guys had the right to be arrogant if they wanted, they could back it up and weren't just a product of privilege/hype/media coverage. But everyone knows the real icons of Dookiness, the guys who embodied all that hatred, we don't need to name them.

Anyway, so I used to hate them because of all that, plus the excruciating media coverage, the Vitale/Patrick dynamic, the floor-slapping, the favorable officiating and the seemingly familiar face/athletic ability that didn't appear to be any different than the guy's I went up against in high school. This hatred was probably predicated on the fact that Duke was almost always good, and I was not a fan of them. I've found that I've hated them the same reason the Patriots are hated now or the Yankees have been hated for eternity. As I became a more rational sports fan, I realized that anyone who hates a team for those reasons is an idiot. Media coverage and whiteness are not crimes against humanity. But that's not to say I didn't stop hating Duke.

With the help of my new rationality and Will Blythe's book To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever, probably my favorite sports book ever, I had new reasons to hate Duke. They represented everything that is wrong with America. I'm not saying that to be a sensationalist, it's the truth. They represent an elite, entitled America. They think they deserve things for being Duke the same way the majority of Americans think they deserve things for being America.

In Blythe's book he profiles the difference between UNC and Duke. I'm going to save his outstanding cultural analysis of that rivalry for when that game rolls around, but one element of his argument was that Duke was imperialistic. A bunch of rich, elite kids from the North, coached by a Polish guy from Chicago, settling in the heart of North Carolina, an area full of humble, middle-class folks, who were genuinely passionate about few things: religion, family and basketball. Not American Express or taunting or media favoritism or anything in basketball that doesn't happen on the court. Duke, and more specifically Coach K, stormed Durham and turned the town into something the rest of North Carolina couldn't identify with, and thus, resented. Now I'm from the Philly area, but if you have certain political views, it's not hard to empathize with those UNC fans. I hated Duke for the reasons they did, which is far different, and I think far more substantial, than the reasons of the general public. I think you could even say that Duke has stormed the college basketball landscape in general and turned it into something true hoops fans couldn't identify with as well, but that might be painting with too broad a brush.

Anyway, those are the foundations for my hatred of Duke over the last few years and last season was a microcosm of my new rationalism. Sure, the standard annoyances were there, but it was the immediate arrogance and expected success of that team, full of big name recruits like McRoberts, Paulus, Henderson, Thomas that made their eventual demise so much more enjoyable. For most of the season, the media loved them, the Crazies loved them, they loved themselves. "We were All-Americans, we got a scholarship to Duke fucking University, we are going to stomp anyone who comes near us." But as sometimes happens in college hoops, things don't work out as they should. Talent doesn't trump heart and it doesn't denote chemistry. Watching them lose to VCU, a mid-major team with a young upstart coach and an unsung star, Maynor, who in reality, was more talented than anyone Duke had, was ever so sweet.

Now, at the beginning of this year, I knew something was up. They only lost McRoberts, which could be considered addition by subtraction, and they brought in three All-Americans. Given the general exodus of veteran talent amongst the top teams and the media's jock-sniffing of the Devils I thought Duke would be top 7 team for sure. But when they were out of the top 10 and lambasted for their lack of inside presence and point guard play, I was almost disappointed. Was Coach K removed from his pedestal above the colleges hoops world? I saw the doubts, but where were the benefits of the doubts? Hopefully they are even worse than people are saying. Hopefully they are still overrated somehow. Then I watched them play.

Let me tell you something. Not only is Duke better than expected, they are the most fun team to watch in the country and they are the BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY. Yes, it's true. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I've got to think Coach K's time with Mike D'Antoni this summer influenced this. They are playing small ball like the Phoenix Suns. They certainly don't have Nash or Stoudemire, but they spread the floor with versatile shooters and ball-handlers, drive and kick flawlessly and create enough defensive chaos to keep teams from exploiting their weaknesses inside. They have speed and ballhandling matched by maybe no one in the country besides, ironically, UNC and can get scoring from about eight different guys. Henderson, King and Singler is the best wing combo in the nation and cause constant mismatches, ala, Shawn Marion for Phoenix. A more detailed analysis of their greatness would be pointless, it's not hard to watch them play and see why. (Or just read this outstanding article by Grant Wahl at SI.com)

You might say, well how does style of play change how they are assholes? Well, besides King, there is a quietude to this team that is unassuming. When you can't pick one player to hate, whereas in the past there was always one figurehead of Duke-ism, from McRoberts to Redick to Battier all the way back to Laettner, you realize this team seems to embrace a team concept in both their style and their attitude. And if Coach K truly did change his style to adapt to what he had, rather than change what he had to embrace his style, isn't that a lack of stubbornness that we could have never expected out of him? And when we see this dynamic, a program that has gotten along forever by practicing their own brand of arrogance on their own island amidst the college basketball landscape trying to get things done like everyone else, should we embrace them? I say yes, and I will watch them with joy every time they are on. (I still hate the Crazies though, they haven't changed at all).

Yes, the end of our Duke-hating paradise might be near, and in what is surely no coincidence, Dick Vitale is nowhere to be found. Certainly I wish Dukie V well, but this might be a year he's better off missing.

Dick Vitale to Have Throat Surgery, Out Till February

With that headline, there is a delicious-looking platter of irony sitting right in front of me, that I could easily enjoy and feed off for a solid 1,000 word post. But I have a heart and no matter my thoughts on Dick Vitale, surgery is a big deal and I wish him the best. The surgery will have him out until February, which could cause him to miss the first UNC-Duke game on Feb. 6. No matter what you think of the man, that game would not be the same without Vitale. Maybe he'll make a Willis Reed-like return just for that match-up (and then get lambasted for Duke-slobbering before the scar disappears). He wrote a letter on his Web site about the condition, which was a bit melodramatic, but used the opportunity to raise some more money for the Jimmy V Fund, which is admirable. Get well, Dick (seriously), I'll have to bite my tongue until you return.

Oh, and despite the title, URL and general subject matter of this blog, it will be active until February, in spite of this news.