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Monday, June 23, 2008

Unsubstantiated Draft Links: Draft Links June 24


Nothing about the NBA Draft makes any sense. GMs intentionally lie about who they want to confuse the rest of the league, agents pull players out of workouts to manipulate their value and the Milwaukee Bucks continue to pretend they are trying to win. Mock drafts are always way off, the rumored trades never go down and the ones that do are always out of left field. There is no rhyme. There is no reason. And that is exactly why it is so great. Sports fans love to speculate, and the NBA Draft is 90 percent speculatastic. So in an exercise of almost certain futility, I bring you Unsubstantiated Speculation, a column containing all the relevant, completely false draft news links from around the Intertubes. Look for this once or twice a week leading up to the draft. Believe nothing.

And if you are a blog that covers the draft and feel you deserve to be on the Links, click the e-mail link on the right sidebar.


I haven't been able to post on here nearly as much but with the Draft fast approaching, I gotta get my act together. For today's links, I'll be going pick by pick in the lottery and linking whatever the Internets say each team will do that they inevitably will not do.

I'll be back later this week with another links thing (hopefully) and a final mock draft.

Oh and because it is so bizarre and awesome that it cannot be bound by one pick, here is a link to the utterly amazing Free Darko Draft Previews. Part 1, Part 2.
Continue...

1. Chicago Bulls
It's becoming more and more apparent that Chicago will take Rose, even though I don't think they should. Although those ready to put Miami on the clock already should be wary that Rose is openly politicking for his hometown team to pick him just a week before the draft. Not the sound of certainty. The one thing I don't like is this idea that Rose is a better pick because he acts serious and professional in interviews and Beasley does not. These kids are 19, neither of them are professional. Rose is shy, Beasley is not. Can Rose do his taxes better than Beasley or something? Is Rose more proficient in Excel? No. They are both really good at basketball but happen to have different personalities. Derrick Rose is going to be freaking great but give me Beasley this year. That is all. Now, the idea that Rose should be the pick because he is by far the best true point guard for a league that covets them more than ever -- that makes a bit more sense.

2. Miami Heat
This is probably where Beasley is going to go, whether it's to Miami or not, so let's talk about him. First, ESPN is cashing in on this whole, "The Next Arenas" thing by capitalizing on Beasley's personality even while its writers bash his draft prospects. They have him blogging. They have an "in-depth" feature on him, which tries to overtake that old Wash Post feature as the "link all Internet writers must provide when discussing Beasley's character issues." They have some ESPN Digital Video things (part 1, part 2) of him, which are pretty tame but awesome for a Philly native like me because he hangs out in the city all day. For the record, he does not stab anyone in the videos nor does he give anyone a wedgie. Rose did work out for Miami so if you're the type of person that likes to make blind leaps of faith (and as someone writing about the Draft, I am), that's another sign that Chicago hasn't made up its mind.

3. Minnesota Timberwolves
They hold the key to the rest of the Draft. Not only does their pick affect those after it but it apparently affects those in front of it. If Miami thinks they can get Mayo at No. 4 or No. 5, they may be inclined to trade the No. 2. The T'Wolves seem to be all over the board. Mayo should be the pick but they have brought in Eric Gordon and Jerryd Bayless recently. Brook Lopez and Danilo Gallinari were in there too. As Ian Thomsen at Sports Illustrated writes, this is one of the toughest drafts to predict in recent memory and a lot of it rests on Miami and Minnesota's uncertainty. Thomson says it's down to Mayo and Love for the Wolves. Mayo has been neglecting small markets (although given that he worked out in Minny, his tune may have changed), and Love is a white person. You do the math.

4. Seattle Supersonics
Another team that long seemed to be locked in on a player (Jerryd Bayless), but now could go any number of directions. It appears Brook Lopez and Russell Westbrook (who Chad Ford has the Sonics taking -- now who is the one with the crazy man crush on Russ?), are very real possibilities. Apparently my man Westbrook has shut down workouts and according to Ford, has a promise in the mid-lottery, possibly at No. 4.

5. Memphis Grizzlies
Many reports have the Grizz trading this pick along with Mike Miller (good) and Brian Cardinal (franchise crushing contract). It seems like the Grizzlies best bet is if Mayo falls to them so Miami or other teams that want him will come calling. Otherwise they will probably take Kevin Love. Some are reporting Eric "Chubby Bryce Drew" Gordon is high up there, but others are reporting he doesn't want to play there. Also, this made me laugh out loud, although I'm sure that wasn't the writer, or Chris Wallace's, intention.

6. New York Knicks
Another pick that seems to be way up in the air and also seems to affect all that comes after it. Danilo Gallinari worked out there recently and supposedly balled, which is good because he said he won't play anywhere besides the Knicks or the Nets. Obviously with Donnie Walsh at the helm, who is very much unlike Isiah Thomas, trades are distinct possibilities if the right vet is available.

7. Los Angeles Clippers
It's highly possible that none of the current Clippers besides Al Thornton and Chris Kaman will be on the team next year. It looks like they will be going small with the pick, which assumes they are for some reason optimistic that Thornton, Brand, Kaman will be their front line for more than another month or so. All that being said, if they get Livingston healthy, keep those guys and don't screw up this pick, they could win some games next year.
/places foot in mouth

8. Milwaukee Bucks
Another team that will likely look far different next season. With Scott Skiles now at the helm you can be certain that the pick will be boring. Joe Alexander seems about right. I'm not entirely sure why DJ Augustin isn't an option here, seeing as how Mo Williams stinks and is a shoot-first PG on a team with a glut of shot-hoisting forwards, but then again, it's the Bucks so I guess I should be surprised they won't be taking Sasha Kaun.

9. Charlotte Bobcats
If it was up to Larry Brown he would try to take Aaron McKie, but alas, there is no such option. I haven't read much about the Cats trading this pick like last year, which means they most certainly will. But if they do pick, it might be someone that hasn't worked out for them, because no one wants to. I suppose playing for Michael Jordan and Larry Brown has lost its luster. Besides you can wait one more spot and play for Jay-Z!

10. New Jersey Nets
Speaking of Hov, he is about to make a new friend. Who that friend could be is completely impossible to predict however. Logic says another big man for NJ, but then again logic has no place in the Meadowlands. Gallinari seems to be a lock if he is available because, you know, he doesn't want to play anywhere else, but a "rich man's Bostjan Nachbar" probably isn't too appealing to a future Brooklyn fanbase. They can barely understand the dude who sells Gyros on the corner.

11. Indiana Pacers
With the rumors surrounding a makes-too-much-sense deal involving TJ Ford and Jermaine O'Neal, DJ Augustin might not be the surefire pick here anymore. I guess Danny Granger and Mike Dunleavy are long-term options so one of those wacky, athletic bigs will probably go here if Augustin does not.

12. Sacramento Kings
Not a lot of action on this pick. It seems like they will just keep it and probably take Augustin if he's available. Otherwise a Wheel O' Big Man will be spun and any of the Speights/McGee/Jordan mess will be chosen.

13. Portland Trailblazers
Some have them trading this thing for sure, others have them keeping it and taking something called Alexis Ajinca. One thing is for sure, the Blazers have options and probably don't need to get any younger.

14. Golden State Warriors
The Warriors are the team that every prospect seems tailor-made for, which is funny because Don Nelson hates youth. Apparently Jason Thompson, a guy who has been underrated throughout this process, is in play. A 7-footer who can run and shoot? Doesn't sound like something thing that would interest Nellie at all. Initially an upside big man like Koufos, McGee or Randolph would seem to make sense, but don't they already have Brandan Wright and Patrick O'Bryant? (Yes, they do).

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Better Than Drying Paint: Your NBA Lottery Gamelog That's Not a Game

I am excited tonight and it has nothing to do with the morass of slop that will be Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. No, it's Draft Lottery night, which means the Unsubstantiated Speculation that is the NBA Draft can officially begin. The Intertubes will be flooded with mock drafts by dawn and you'll get one here too, just for the hell of it. Sean Carter and Larry Bird are in the same building, which only means complete nonsense will ensue, let's go.

7:45- OK some prelim stuff. Here are the odds for each team.

Of the top seven teams in terms of odds for No. 1, only the Heat and possibly the Clippers have any chance in hell of making the playoffs next year. And to me, the only team of those that should take Derrick Rose No. 1 is Seattle. I know that Bilas and Legler and Stephen A. or whoever ESPN trots out there that knows nothing about the draft will not agree with me. This will not bother me because none of those people are qualified to talk about the NBA Draft. Bilas is a college guy, Legler is an NBA guy and Stephen A. is a loud guy. Meanwhile Chad Ford and Bill Simmons and John Hollinger, who know about the NBA and scouting, are nowhere to be found.
/rant over

Here is a great link from the wonderful TrueHoop with a look from some newspapers around the Lottery.

8:00- Many NBA-related folk are standing around pretending to mingle. Many business cards are surely exchanged. Doris Burke in her "The Scarlet Letter" outfit is "backstage" at the Lottery, which is very similar to being "backstage" at the post office. Many numbers are on the board in order to tell us which NBA teams suck the most.

8:02- Teams have actual Lottery parties to keep its fans from realizing their souls are black. I'm assuming most of the Memphis "fans" are being paid like they pay seniors to fill out Carlos Mencia's comedy specials.

8:04- Bilas makes his first reference to wingspan in regards to JaVale McGee, whom I despise. Jay Bilas has Kenny George in his top ten next year.

8:05- Oh man, Doris Burke and Jay-Z... it burns. 100-1 odds she ends up in one of Hov's next videos .
/shudders.

8:06- Mitch Richmond is there and he could be representing any of about eight teams in the Lottery.

8:09- Kings fan Margie -- who is, after all, from Sacramento -- is terrified to be surrounded by Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant and Rudy Gay.

8:11- OK all the white folks, NBA players, Fred Hoiberg and Jay-Z have sat down, let's get going.

8:13- Richmond reps the Warriors and I win the office pool.

8:16- Is every one of them going to be able to actually comment on their excitement of envelopes opening?

8:17- I still can't reconcile Mike D'Antoni representing the atrocity that is the Knicks.

8:18- Dwyane Wade, fresh off of Star Jones.
/shudders.

8:19- OK so far it's all chalk, no shocker there. Indiana at 11. NJ at 10.

8: 20- Charlotte at 9, which means the Bulls are in the top 3, which means the Sixers are out of the playoffs next year. Shit.

8:21- Knicks get No. 6. HA. Welcome to the Danilo Gallinari era.

8:22- Grizzlies are an awful franchise.

8:23- Damn, Seattle got screwed. I will no longer purchase the team. We got a commercial and the T'Wolves, Heat and Bulls are in the top three. All three should be kinda dangerous next year with Rose or Beasley.

Side note. I'm not shocked but that was insanely boring. They need to spruce this up with any combination of Erin Andrews and/or a "Deal or No Deal" format.

8:24- Go Fred Hoiberg, in The Mayor we trust. T'Wolves at No. 3. I hate the Bulls already.

8:25- Poop.

8:26- Well that is certainly a shocker and certainly a pretty big blow to anyone in the East besides Boston and Detroit. Chicago is relevant again and I would imagine quite a few folks would be interested in that Bulls coaching position. Mock Draft coming soon...

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Lots and Lots and Lots of Games: Conference Quarterfinals Day One

Ahh! The laughing! It's burned into my head! Will it ever stop! Digger you are the bane of my existence!

Today and tomorrow are two of the more underrated days of the year in sports. Consider it a warmup for next week in terms of excitement, quality basketball and, most importantly, pirating illegal broadcasts of basketball on your computer and pushing thin excuses upon your boss to get out of working. There simply must be a study on the amount of national productivity lost on the first two days of the NCAA Tournament. I will not sleep until one is conducted.

Anyway, with the major conferences doing their quadruple-headers today and tomorrow and with a crowded Bubble and whole buttload of parity in college hoops this year, the basketball over the next two days should be both frantic, overwhelming and, of course, awesome. Here are some quick, mostly analysis-free looks at the quarterfinals today and what to watch for.

Pac-10
This is, in my opinion, the best ticket in college basketball not involving the NCAA Tournament. The top eight teams in America's best conference are all in action today in the Staples Center, with each game containing a team on the Bubble in varying degrees. When the Pac-10 was on TV on the East Coast, which generally coincided around most lunar eclipses, it was must-see TV, no matter who the hell was playing. That's how good the league was. If you are an NBA scout you can basically do an entire seasons worth of work in one day for a couple hundred bucks. That's a bargain even Donald Sterling couldn't pass up. Here are the future pros in action today at Staples:

Brook Lopez, OJ Mayo, Jerryd Bayless, Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, Davon Jefferson, Chase Budinger, Ryan Anderson, James Harden, Jordan Hill, Bryce Taylor, DeVon Hardin, Robin Lopez, Jeff Pendergraph, Kyle Weaver.

And those are just the guys that are basically sure things.

Fun Things To Watch For Because Fun is Fun: Jack Nicholson has been showing up at UCLA games this year so look out for the Bruins new fan. Well, he might be a Bruins' fan or his publicist might just tell him the colorful jerseys are those of the Lakers and he's too far off the deep end to realize what the hell is going on.

These games are on FSN, which actually provides a pretty solid broadcast, even though us on the East Coast probably have to do unspeakable things to watch it. Marques Johnson is a Pac-10 broadcaster and does a very good job, even if the legend from South LA is obviously not used to talking about basketball in wholesome, white person-friendly terms. You can audibly here him holding back some kind of awesome, indecipherable explanation when OJ Mayo embarrasses someone. It's kinda annoying, the guy knows so much about basketball and he has to pander to some corny old alumni. Just once I wish he could get let it all hang out, but then I suppose there is the danger of this (about 1:50 mark and then again 3:00):


For College Students, A Drinking Game For Each Contest:
USC-Arizona State: Drink every time you realize how awesome it is that's its the middle of a Thursday and you are drinking and watching basketball./bitter

California-UCLA: Drink every time Ryan Anderson or Kevin Love are praised for footwork, shooting stroke, passing, boxing out or heart. CBS Sportsline columnist Mike Freeman should not play this game.

Oregon-Washington State: Drink every time a Duck physically leaps over a Cougar or and you wonder how in the hell Oregon is still losing to Washington State.

Arizona-Stanford: Drink every time a Lopez twin talks shit to Jerryd Bayless but has absolutely nothing to say to Jordan Hill.

Big EastUsually the best ticket in college hoops, but still second only to the Pac-10 this year. Gets added points for being at Madison Square Garden, which is the best place to watch basketball in the country, as long as it's not the Knicks. The only quarterfinal that can boast seven nearly surefire NCAA Tournament teams (especially with West Virginia taking it to Connecticut as I write this). If this were the bottom half of an entire NCAA regional, I don't think anyone could complain. Even better than watching these games is attending them as this weekend turns the MSG area into an alcohol-induced warzone. Every bar around the arena is staved off by a certain fanbase and any intermingling results only in death. At least five percent of the paid attendance will be kicked out of the arena by the time the session is over.

Fun Things To Watch For Because Fun is Fun: The promo song for the Big East this year, and basically every year, is some completely retarded attempt at appealing to the "street-tough, New York hip-hop" persona. It is perpetrated by some white ESPN suit (likely this man) and is supposed to make you feel like the Big East is still some kind of tough league. Yes, because there is nothing that makes me think of hip-hop more than nine-dollar beers, school bands and Jamie Smalligan.

Speaking of Smalligan and the Mountaineers, the real question about their performance in this tournament is not whether it will get them into the NCAAs, but will it get them into Scores?

For College Students, A Drinking Game For Each Contest:
Villanova-Georgetown: Game already over, I think your livers could use a midday break anyway.

West Virginia-Connecticut: The game is almost over, so drink every time a Mountaineer completes a successful post-game handshake with a Huskie without getting poked in the eye.

Pittsburgh-Louisville: Drink every time the announcers mention a Pittsburgh player is from NYC or how well Jamie Dixon recruits there. Take a shot if Carl Krauser is mentioned and another one if his current whereabouts are known.

Marquette-Notre Dame: Drink every time Luke Harangody is called "Gody" and you refrain from smashing the TV with a sledgehammer. At that point, you've earned it.

Wildcard drinking procedure: Drink every time Digger Phelps and Bobby Knight go into that insufferable schtick where they resemble Grumpy Old Men in their comedic value, contemporary relevancy and general vitality. Drink every time one of them looks as though he soiled himself. Drink every time assumption is proved true. Call ambulance.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Bob Knight To Begin TV Career Today, Many Encouraged To Care


In case you aren't yet concussed from ESPN bludgeoning you over the head with it, Bob Knight will make his TV debut tonight on ESPN. I guess he did Mike and Mike this morning (video), which is why I'm surprised he hasn't quit already, but he'll show up on SportsCenter and then be in studio between the two Big East games tonight.

Apparently this is supposed to interest me.

What exactly is Bob Knight going to do on television that thousands of boring TV analysts have done before? The only people in the history of sports television that I have actually enjoyed watching sit in a chair and talk are Charles Barkley, Johnny Miller (for golf), Gus Johnson and Marv Albert. If I knew any of those people would be on the air speaking about an event, my interest in said event would rise. Minimally. And that's it. Here's what a segment with Bob Knight will sound like:

Rece Davis/Karl Ravech/Random Boring Guy X: So Bob, you coached in the Big 12, which teams still have work to do to get in the Tournament?

Bob Knight: Well, I think Kansas State, Oklahoma Texas A & M all can't afford to lose a game and still expect to get in.

Rece Davis/Karl Ravech/Random Boring Guy X: (stares)

Bob Knight: (stares)

Yeah, that seems about right (seriously, click on the Mike and Mike link; that's what it's gonna be). The only reason "analysts" exist is to entertain people that don't have to take a shit during halftime and to fill out the rest of a half hour highlight show when footage of games cannot. Bob Knight, just because he is a crazy psycho, is not going to change that. It's not like he's going to openly berate Tom Brennan (that's Gottlieb's job) and it's not like he's going to throw chairs. And he's certainly not going to be critical of ANY players or coaches, because, in 100 years of being in basketball, he's friends with everyone. There might be some poor man's Barkley-type ribbing with his co-hosts and he obviously knows his basketball, but that's about it. You're best bet for entertainment is if he's paired with Gottlieb and Gottlieb inevitably thinks he's smarter than Knight -- and he probably is actually in terms of this year's teams and players... but still a dick) -- challenges him on something and Knight gives him the Jeremy Schaap treatment.

And all the nonsense about "Knight becoming a journalist even though he hates them" is ridiculous. Being an on-screen basketball analyst for ESPN is the furthest thing from journalism in the world. It's sports journalism in the same way Entertainment Tonight is a news program.

And yes, I needed something to take the anger of Syracuse's bedshitting today out on.

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Hooray For Links! March 10


I was never a big proponent of doing link dumps and the like on this site because, well, it didn't really make sense to me. Why would I simply reproduce things that are already out there? But as I did my own scouring of the Intertubes for college hoops content, I realized there was just too much quality (and, at times, utterly awful) stuff out there to simply leave untapped. So I give you Hooray For Links! which should appear at completely random intervals. Because without links, it's not really a blog, it's just a place to put thoughts I might not want to forget.

Them links be after the jump.
Continue...

First off, I was gonna do one of these last week but didn't get around to it so if any of these are old news or have already been determined as uninteresting, I apologize.

- The new Deadspin Media Approval Ratings have been very interesting, especially the results surrounding some college hoops folk. Here they are:

Doug Gottlieb: 44.3%
Billy Packer: 9.5%
Gus Johnson: 90.4%
Erin Andrews: 95.2%
Mike Patrick: 47.8%

It's worth mentioning that ESPN is known for infiltrating these polls when they involve one of their people, which could be why the derisive Gottlieb is near 50 percent (despite being a bully) and the brain-dead Patrick is above 3 percent. Obviously the 5 percent that disapproves of Andrews are women and the 10 percent that disapproves Gus are deaf (my feelings on him are well-documented). Billy Packer's 9.5% was provided solely by the Nantz family.

- Speaking of Gottlieb, USA Today did a feature on him for no apparent reason whatsoever, except to give an already hefty ego and even greater boost. I think Gottlieb is a pretty smart guy and definitely is one of the smarter ESPN hoops analysts. But the way he presents his opinions in that pompous, I'm-the-voice-of-reason-in-college-hoops, I-think-Tom Brennan-is-a-huge-douche type of way, not to mention a completely boring way with no sense of humor (like Brennan), is just unnecessary. I've said this before but he's like one of those guys on the message boards that happens to know more than everyone else and wants them all to know it. Anyway, the feature was an absolute puff piece, barely mentions the credit card thing at Notre Dame or many of his controversial statements. It also contains no sources from Gottlieb detractors, only speaking with his family and co-workers. But read it if you want a reason to dislike Doug Gottlieb some more.

- Dana O'Neill at ESPN.com continues to crank out outstanding pieces in her first few months on the job. This one on Michael Beasley, perhaps the 20th I've read on him, is probably the best look into Beasley's life and mind that has been written. Beasley comes off as a pretty intelligent, thoughtful guy, especially when speaking about the true impact of being a really freaking good 19-year-old basketball player.
"I'm still a kid; I'm still irresponsible and I want to still be irresponsible sometimes," Beasley said as the fans circled behind him. "When I go to the NBA, that's over. My life is America's life. LeBron James gets a speeding ticket, the cop goes on with his day and LeBron is all over 'SportsCenter.' Britney Spears shaves her head, it's everywhere. You shave your hair, who cares? That's why I'm not sure I'm ready for the NBA.

"I mean, what's being famous anyway? It's a popularity contest. Don't get me wrong. I'm lucky. I love my life, but I just don't understand it. I brush my teeth with the same Crest. I use the same bar of soap. My house gets junky just like yours. I'm just a regular guy who can play basketball. I'm normal."

Nah dude, I use Colgate. And unlike the Gottlieb piece, O'Neill confronts Beasley on Dalonte Hill, Bob Huggins and all the weirdness around his recruitment. He acknowledged that he's only at KSU because of Hill but said Frank Martin's head coach position is legitimate. I disagree, but whatever, I can't drop 44 in a Big 12 game.

- Speaking of Kansas State, Big Sexy Jason Whitlock weighs in on the squad and its recent struggles. And wouldn't you know it, Mr. Whitlock has something critical to say. He calls out the fans, Crazy Person Frank Martin's sideline antics and the sulking so often seen from the young guys (not sure I agree on this). Whitlock's a great writer so it's worth a read but don't expect to be smiling when you're done reading.

- I've written a bit on Philadelphia hoops phenom, the as yet unsigned Tyreke Evans. The New York Times decided to do the same and turns in a good feature on the completely ridiculous amount of hoopla surrounding his senior season.

- Kevin Love. John Wooden. Outlet passes. And Brent Musberger gets his first erection in years.
/shudders


- I Loooovveeeee The Drake around here and given the Bulldogs complete destruction of the Missouri Valley, I link this column from ESPN.com's Pat Forde from a couple weeks ago on just how much he too, loves the Drake.

- Patrick Patterson may be coming back to school next year... according to his Facebook page.

- The blinding brilliance of Kissing Suzy Kolber and Big Daddy Drew applies itself to college hoops and Coach K (via Deadspin). And all is right with the world.

- What dreams of made of.


- You've probably heard by now that Lil Romeo is going to USC on a basketball scholarship. You've probably considered how ridiculous this is. The Wall Street Journal would like to confirm how ridiculous this is... as would Tim Floyd. Apparently this is just a package deal with DeMar DeRozan, who is apparently really freaking good and tight with Romeo. Obviously everyone at USC denies that.

- This post at FreeDarko on Mike Dunleavy and his days at Duke, where he recorded a video with a campus comedy group, might be completely useless or awe-inspiringly awesome. Decide for yourself. A teaser: Dunleavy plays Death in Stratego.

- Your obligatory Erin Andrews item.

- Never have I been more excited after a college basketball play than I was after Kristof Ongenaet's steal/crossover/posterizing of Marquette Saturday. I'm assuming that is what people felt like after Jason McElwain made all of those threes.

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Hooray For Links! February 21


I was never a big proponent of doing link dumps and the like on this site because, well, it didn't really make sense to me. Why would I simply reproduce things that are already out there? But as I did my own scouring of the Intertubes for college hoops content, I realized there was just too much quality (and, at times, utterly awful) stuff out there to simply leave untapped. So I give you Hooray For Links! which should appear at completely random intervals. Because without links, it's not really a blog, it's just a place to put thoughts I might not want to forget.

Them links be after the jump.
Continue...

- Before we get into anything of substance, great Louisville blog Card Chronicle shares this video of a rapping UL fan, makes world worse place. Reminds me of a young Ghostface. I really should've dedicated a single post to this.

- I really enjoyed Grant Wahl's article in Sports Illustrated a couple weeks ago on the Dribble-Drive Motion Offense that everyone seems so excited about. Now, if you aren't a hardcore basketball person, this whole piece is a waste of your time. It's an in-depth look at how the philosophy was originated, how it works, who is using it and what personnel suits it best. If you enjoy dunks, cheerleaders and screaming at the TV, you probably shouldn't read this. Anyway, the DDM offense has been made most popular by John Calipari and Memphis, which is odd because the Tigers don't really have the ideal players (i.e. jumpshooters) for the offense. But they do have Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, who are both perfect for the penetration and kick offense. They also have Joey Dorsey, who is ideal for this offense because it requires no post scorer and puts a team's big man on the weak side of the ball for offensive rebounds and drive-and-dishes. Still, you wonder if the shooting will be Memphis' tragic flaw. The offense was created by Vance Walberg, who was a JuCo coach at the time, then got a job at Pepperdine and recently resigned/got fired (the one problem with the article is it makes little mention of Walberg's tenure and departure at Pepperdine). Over 300 teams across the country, at all levels of play, now use it and the article contains praise from Larry Brown and Bob Hurley. So if your retinas aren't singed from Bruce Pearl's suit (by the way, the Vols are perfect for DDM and they don't run it), look for that offense Saturday night.

- Kansas State Head Coach and Crazy Person, Frank Martin seems to be getting a lot of love for KSU's success this season and this feature by Chip Brown at the Dallas Morning News continues that trend. Martin, despite being a raging lunatic on the sidelines, actually does seem like he cares about his kids and knows the game. HOWEVA, he still has a very shady past and it seems like no one knows about it besides me and Robert Andrew Powell, the Miami New Times reporter who broke the 1998 story on Martin fabricating addresses for the state champion high school team he coached (which included Steve Blake and Udonis Haslem), an investigation that led to his resignation. Certainly people deserve second chances and performance speaks for itself, but read the 1998 story and then read Brown's feature and see if there aren't some serious contradictions in some of Martin's "do it the right way" quotes.

- I don't like pointing out when I'm right -- actually, who am I kidding, of course I do -- but back at the end of January I had post on the four teams I thought were capable of winning a championship. I picked Kansas, UNC, UCLA... and Louisville. The CHN message board destroyed me for this at the time and much time-wasting vitriol ensued. Well we all know what Louisville has done since and in a recent post at the fabulous Basketball Prospectus the fabulous Ken Pomeroy (I'm not gay) pegged the Cardinals as his "No. 6" team behind the obvious top five of Memphis, Duke, UNC, Kansas and UCLA (this was posted on Feb. 13, so I figure Tennessee is now in there, moving Louisville to No. 7... but I was still right! /stares into distance).

- I've been following the bizarre story of Tim Parmeter, Eastern Arizona JuCo coach who, as originally reported by Gary Parrish, was coaching through the murder-suicide of his ex-wife and child but was recently fired amid allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year old while he was married. I'm not going to elaborate any further on it, and I've gotten some comments here that were both interesting and abhorrent, but if you haven't seen this bizarre story, here is a good follow up from the Arizona Republic.

- I'm really sick of the Kelvin Sampson thing and, besides posting on The Big Lead's anonymous source that said he was going to be fired last Friday which obviously turned out to be wrong, I'm going to ignore it on here. But this piece from Andy Katz served as a great one-stop source for all the nonsense surround Sampson.

- Against all odds, ESPN.com's college basketball coverage has been outstanding lately. In the beginning of the year they just seemed to regurgitate the same played-out storylines but there have been a number of really good, deep pieces lately. I'd like to think a big part of that is the addition of Philly's own Dana O'Neill, former Philly Daily News writer, who turned in a GREAT feature on Alcorn State and the unglamorous life of basketball in the SWAC. It's long but a great read for those sick of the power conference slobbering.

- Keeping with the ESPN theme, Chris Low takes a good look at the long, hard journey of Tennessee-Martin's Lester Hudson, who is one of the most talented players in the country. Hudson has overcome a rough childhood and academic problems to make it to Division I, and he is probably is good enough to play in the major conferences.

- And one more to throw at you, Heather Dinich's feature on Towson junior Tony Durant, who just happens to be the older brother of Kevin Durant. It's a great look at the odd emotional predicament Kevin's success has caused for Tony, who I somehow didn't even know about until I read this piece.

- Two posts from fellow Ravenous Shark Fightin' Blue Hen Dan Steinberg at the outstanding DC Sports Bog. First a great reaction to the idiot court storming from Syracuse fans when the Orange beat Georgetown at home last week. Second, an ever greater post, a report from last night's Virginia Tech-Maryland game where Dorenzo Hudson puked on the floor. If you are a sick, twisted freak here is the video.

- This Deadspin post has all sorts of Bob Knight goodness. Apparently current Nets coach and former Indiana manager was a bit of a douche back in the day, and may have taped Bob Knight giving a terrifying, profanity-laced tirade at halftime of a game, which has made its way onto the Intertubes. Within the post is the story on Frank and audio of Knight's shitstorm. And here is Terry Hutchens original story on the tape.

- Awful Announcing notices something that I too have noticed recently. Brent Musberger (pictured above) is careening toward senility (during a college game he blurts out that the Wizards want to trade Caron Butler!). Between this, his insistence on calling every player only by his first name ("What a rebound by Jamarcus") and his bonechilling ogling of Erin Andrews (I know, pot/kettle/black), I am worried Brett might poop himself during a conference championships game this year. And if only for the comment section, here is Deadspin's approval rating on Musberger. (Yes, I've also found the Brent Musberger Drinking Game, here's to binge drinking Brent!).

- This story has been written about 12 million times but in case you just can't get enough Duke-hating, some fella at MSN tries his hand at explaining why nobody likes the Blue Devils.

- From Scott Van Pelt Style, apparently former Duke forward and obnoxious towel waver Reggie Love is a bodyguard for our next President Barack Obama.

- From the motherland CHN, a nice column on Gonzaga, specifically the dichotomy between Josh Heytvelt and Jeff Pendergraft. Kinda follows a previous sentiment I had on the Zags that with all these All-Americans they have lost the scrappiness and chemistry that made those old Gonzaga teams so great.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

You Must Care About Rivalry Week


I've been told it's Rivalry Week in college hoops. ESPN has told me this and given all the ads and promotions for it, I have been led to believe that it is far more important than something that was say, I don't know, completely made-up by a network desperate to generate post-football interest in sports. While I don't think college basketball lends itself particularly well to rivalries -- the constant changing of players the obvious reason why -- than say college football, it doesn't mean the games won't be really exciting anyway (see: Gonzaga-St. Mary's last night). I mean, it's not like ESPN would show bad games just for the sake of capitalizing on a contrived rivalry. (See: Michigan vs. Ohio State, Clemson vs. Virginia, Xavier vs. St. Louis).

So in order to ensure the proper amount of interest in Rivalry Week, I thought I'd take a closer look at all the "rivalries" and why such hatred came about in the first place.

Louisville vs. Marquette- When defecting from Conference USA, both teams thought they were the main contributors to the enormously increasing suckiness of their old conference. Rick Pitino claimed it was the Cardinals that left the league at a level barely higher than 8th grade girls basketball while Tom Crean vehemently disagreed, saying if not for the Golden Eagles departure, people might still want to watch Conference USA over televised coverage of a live birth.

Missouri vs. Kansas- I would say this would suffice. And I suppose this was only a matter of time, as well:
Gonzaga vs. St. Mary's- Zags' guard Matt Bouldin prefers Dave Mathews to Jack Johnson, which is tantamount to sacrilege amongst the useless, yerk-toting, frisbee-chucking cheeba-monkeys that attend the small, liberal arts college.

Michigan vs. Ohio State- Something to do with football or something.

Butler vs. Valparaiso- Because no one inspires more hatred than the radical Finnish ideals of Valpo sophomore forward and Scandinavian enforcer Samuel Haanpaa. He has infiltrated the Midwest and we have only AJ Graves to save us. There Will Be Blood.

Florida vs. Tennessee- There is no greater debate in the South than which is more soul-crushing: Bruce Pearl with his shirt off or Joakim Noah fully clothed.

















Bonechilling

Connecticut vs. Syracuse- No one is sure how this rivalry started. Jim Boeheim and Jim Calhoun just started whining one day and the topic eventually meandered toward each others programs. In order to get them to stop, both fanbases swore their hatred for the other. Also, there are rumors about a heated bet between both athletic directors on which team could spend the most consecutive Novembers without leaving their respective states. It's a stalemate at 79 apiece.

Duke vs. UNC- Coach K banged Dean Smith's daughter. Not sure why else this would be a rivalry.

Texas vs. Oklahoma- The Sooners made the unfortunate misstep of having messed with Texas. We all know how that can turn out.

West Virginia vs. Pittsburgh- The loser of this game every season will be known as the Official Alabama of the North for the following year. The women of the winning fan base gets a free year-long subscription to the services of any Planned Parenthood in the losing team's state. Given the two fanbases, this prize has an estimated value over $500,000. The men receive assault rifles. You know, for huntin' critters or whatever.

Xavier vs. St. Louis- Not sure why this is a rivalry, although I heard Musketeer fans are known throughout the A-10 for hating aborted children and full frontal male nudity.

Illinois vs. Indiana- I may be wrong here, but didn't Illinois fans have some strong feelings toward that Eric Gordon fellow.

From Illinois Loyalty message board:
Orange100: i love him like a loose meat sandwich with melted cheddar cheese that they serve in the lunch room.

TheTimmer: that it's probably illegal to discuss. But, I can tell you this: I would de-pants myself and sing "The Old Gray Mare" for 2 hours straight the night of his non-exhibition debut as an Illini.

JCJP: Eric would look sooooooooo good in orange. He makes me feel so wonderful.
Don't ya know that he's? He's some Kind of Wonderful. yes he is, he's some kind of wonderful.

The GRAND FUNK RAILROAD WROTE IT JUST FOR YOU ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wonder how that turned out...

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

From ESPN, This Just In: That OJ Mayo Character Is A Rapscallion

Last night I watched E:60, a show that managed to go from promising to atrocious in about four episodes (I'll take Real Sports on HBO ANY day) and saw their story on OJ Mayo. The story was informative, especially for those that have spent recent months beneath rocks or in Kazakhstan.

UPDATE: Here it is.


The reporter, Lisa Salters, clearly was out of her element in the college basketball arena, essentially taking the stance of the casual, uninformed fan, that Mayo was a selfish, arrogant, thug when those who have read about him, met him and written about him and seen him play know he is certainly not. Plus, on top of all that, she tells a story that has been told a million times before, adding no new information but adding a brooding soundtrack, askew camera angles and basically ESPN-ifying the entire thing to make it look like an in-depth scoop or Unsolved Mysteries or something. In the cheesy black and white thing they do afterwards, Salters says most people still don't really know OJ Mayo. I disagree, Ms. Salters. Here are several links that tell the EXACT same story that you told and refute your justification for telling that story.

Slam
New York Times
USA Today
CBS Sportsline
Daily Trojan
SI.com
Sports Illustrated
Orange County Register
And the LA Times has had about four recent good pieces on Mayo, but they are archived.

Now I probably shouldn't complain. Everyone knows ESPN often appeals to the average fan, not necessarily the informed one. They also constantly blur the line between journalism and entertainment, reporting and opinion (couple of GREAT pieces by the ombudswoman over there on this). Their college basketball writers generally do a great job and occasionally they do turn in some really good TV segments (the Kimbo Slice piece from the recent episode being one) with good journalism. But this piece was a disaster.

The self-proclaimed "World Wide Leader" in sports shouldn't be the 9th or 10th media outlet to report on a story and they certainly shouldn't regurgitate an uninformed stance. Salters claims Mayo is as good a prospect as Lebron James. That is completely insane. She brings up the dropped marijuana charges, the ref bump, the Daniel Hackett incident and paints a picture that has essentially been refuted by the college basketball media, who have seen an unselfish, coachable player, a good defender and a strong student. The recruiting process certainly wasn't orthodox, but neither was Michael Beasley's, Eric Gordon's or Derrick Rose's. But the MSM just see a talented, flashy, black kid with a few incidents that perpetuate that image and still push the Legend of "Thug" OJ Mayo (and exploit it).

There will be more on Mayo as the season progresses from me and everyone else, but hopefully something, you know, different at some point.

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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Doug Gottlieb Wants You to Know He Banged Your Mom


This is from Deadspin but I absolutely had to post it. The more the merrier.

On TV Doug Gottlieb reminds me of the spoiled little kid who has been given a position of leadership or prominence. He doesn't really care how you think he should be doing his job, he's going to do things his way no matter what. He writes articles even though he is not a writer, announces game (usually of the low-major variety) as though he was the only announcer and he makes statements with the conviction of a prolific message board member, from the safety of his studio, with all the world to hear and no direct interactions with his detractors. Plus, I think Tom Brennan cries himself to sleep every night. Some of Gottlieb's past transgressions:

-Said Brian Butch was the most overrated player in the Big Ten
-Said Big East teams, especially Syracuse, play "fraudulent" non-conference schedules.
-Suggested an official of an Indiana-Wisconsin game was crooked.

This was all in his first year as a broadcaster and, off the top of my head, I specifically remember him calling Kevin Durant a "chucker." He also stole a roommate's credit card his freshman year at Notre Dame and rang up a monster bill, was convicted of fraud and transferred. Well apparently Mr. Gottlieb doesn't believe his glass house should prevent him from chucking stones-- like the many errant jump shots that marked his career-- at helpless ESPN chatters, who are probably the future Doug Gottliebs of the world anyway.

Behold...

Mike Indiana: How did your mediocre basketball career prepare you for a mediocre broadcasting career?
Doug Gottlieb: (4:04 PM ET ) So your mediocre life can prepare you for a mediocre afterlife...and by the way, which one of us works for ESPN... hey and next time...when I you say 30 minutes or less....get here on time with my pizza.

John (Notre Dame): Doug, I lost my credit card, where were you last night?
SportsNation Doug Gottlieb: (4:27 PM ET ) Ask your mom.

Johns Mom (Notre Dame): GOTTLIEB I KNOW YOU STOLE MY SON'S CREDIT CARD!
SportsNation Doug Gottlieb: (4:34 PM ET ) Ten years ago I made a mistake...and payed for it...18 years ago YOU WERE your parents mistake and they are still paying for it.

I love how he saw these kids ripping on him and POSTED THE QUESTIONS! I mean, he screens all the entries! That means he saw the questions that put his entire career on blast and absolutely couldn't resist responding with the always mature "I banged your mom,"you'll deliver my pizza" and "you were a mistake" busts. Just wonderful.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Digger Phelps IS Show Business


Sometimes things happen that are just too perfect to question. You would like to react or explain how such things occur but in not being able to properly justify them with words, you sit back and appreciate them for what they are, fearing any false move will ruin its flawlessness.

Digger Phelps starring in a play called Love Letters in New York City is one of those events. Deadspin has a full report. This is for all of us.

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Andy Glockner: Visionary, Panderer

This Andy Glockner piece makes me giddy. Not only does it satisfy my raging excitement for this year's Syracuse squad -- which is both thrilling and flawed but most importantly, sans-Roberts and sans-Watkins -- but it is downright Non-Bilasian in its appreciation for freshmen stars. Well done good sir.

First-year phenoms lead Orange to Garden

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

This Just In: Jay Bilas Study Finds That Good Players Tend to Want to Play In NBA



Jay Bilas, seen here contemplating why he's not a Duke assistant and merely some guy with a microphone headset clutching a pen and talking about the "length" of teenagers, is actually not a bad analyst and generally a breath of fresh air when put beside Dickie V and Hi-Liter Man. But in ESPN's noble quest to ruin the few good things they have going for them, they have decided to give some of their on-air, ex-player personalities a chance to write on ESPN.com. Bill Walton does it, Doug Gottlieb does it (and fairly well actually), I think Sean Salisbury tried it once but could manage only to pound on the keyboard angrily while grunting and turning purple. They just put the remains into Gene Wojciechowski's column so no one would notice. Anyway, most of these guys clearly shouldn't be writing. They got nerdy kids and the kinda fat girls they would only bang if they got something in return to do it for them in college so why does ESPN think they can do it now?

The latest foray into pointlessness is Jay Bilas' column today. He claims that the college game is suffering because all the good players leave for the draft before they mature as players. Groundbreaking stuff indeed. He then lists 8 (EIGHT!) All-Imagine teams consisting of players who could still be in college to really drive home the point. I'm not even going to address what is wrong with those teams (Al Jefferson ON THE FOURTH TEAM?!?!). But Bilas' complete lack of knowledge has inspired me to tackle the subject on my own. He is my bizarro muse.Continue...

Alright first off, the NBA age rule is by all accounts good for the NBA. Fans don't have to worry about high lottery picks taking as much time to develop (unless you are a Sixers fan like me) and, in theory, the worse teams should take less time to turn it around (see: Hawks, Horford, Law). NBA coaches are getting players with at least a year of seasoning/humbling/toughening up from the coaches of top college programs (unless you draft Michael Beasley next year who coaches himself) and all of this has no effect on the salary cap. Plus the players are getting at least a year in the national spotlight, maybe even a deep NCAA tourney run, making them far more marketable when they enter the league. Kevin Durant, as great as he is, was not a household name coming out of high school. So that is why the rule will never change. Tough shit.

As far as the college game, there certainly is an effect, just one nowhere near what Bilas thinks. The game is not less mature, if anything it is more mature, if maturity refers strictly to level of play (excellent Free Darko piece on maturity and basketball). Eric Gordon, Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, Kevin Love and OJ Mayo are NBA players, hands the fuck down. Kosta Koufos, Donte Greene, Anthony Randolph and Kyle Singler probably are too. They dominate high school and college players because they have mature bodies (except Randolph), a mature game and the maturity to harness those skills into success. Bilas says these players are talented but have success because the upperclassmen that should be stealing their playing time and touches are going pro. Wrong. They have success because they are playing against inferior competition: college players. Some pipsqueak from Chattanooga cannot cover Eric Gordon any better than he could cover Chris Paul. So that's not the problem.

What could be construed as a problem is that the best players in college basketball are all freshmen. Look at some of the stat lines early in the season. It's ridiculous. When you force NBA players to play in college, they are going to play like NBA players. And as soon as they can go the NBA, they are out of there, leaving a group of upperclassmen that are simply good college players, paling in comparison to the incoming NBA-ready players. It's essentially become the NBDL, a place where elite players spend a year readying their games for the NBA. They don't get any more of an education than they would if they left after high school and it can be a setback for programs to use scholarships and recruiting money on one and done players but it certainly does not dilute the quality of play. I would've watched a lot less basketball last year if it wasn't for Kevin Durant, I'm sure many people can say the same. Last night I watched Duke (to see Singler), Ohio State (Koufos) and UCLA (Love, and Bill Walton's homoerotic PSA). I watch basketball for the competition and the chance to see a player raise his game head and shoulders above the rest. Rather than watch Kevin Durant have to share the ball with the likes of Luke Ridnour and Damien Wilkins right out of high school (I watch him do that anyway, but that's an issue for a therapist, not a blog), I cherished the opportunity to see him will a Texas team to victory (like this one) by simply being the best player out there.
There's a lot of joy that comes from just extracting a player's brilliance from its context and enjoying it for what it is. I don't care how old he is or how long he'll be around, I'm just glad it happened.

As for Bilas, he doesn't even offer a solution to his so-called problem and ESPN has the call to make the article Free Insider which means, "We originally wanted to make you pay for it, but realized Ralph Nader would destroy Bristol if we did." Enjoy Jonny Flynn, Donte Greene and Kosta Koufos tonight, while you have the chance, of course.

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