Release From Hibernation: NBA Draft Early Entrants Part 2

Continuing the slow return of content on this here blog, some more fun NBA Draft stuff coming your way today. Last week I looked at the guys who declared early for the draft and hired an agent. Today we will look at some folks that are “testing the waters,” as the kids say. Now, there are a million of these folks, so some might get left out and many of these looks will be brief.

Before we get into each player, a disclaimer: With the new rule that NBA teams pay for expenses for a player’s individual workout, there should be some obvious decisions to be made. First, NO ONE should finish college without declaring for the draft. I might be missing something here, but if there is no money to lose, then there is absolutely nothing to lose by declaring and not hiring an agent. The school year is over by draft time, most college coaches are gonna want you in the weight room or on the track in the morning around this time of year, all the chicks are off campus, you get exposure, a chance to play directly in front of NBA execs and you get an idea of where you might fall in the Draft. Plus, if you play decent enough you could get more scouts at your games if you go back to college.

Guys like George Hill at IUPUI, Courtney Pigram at East Tennessee State and Walter Sharpe at UAB are a few players who have realized this. Maybe they have a career game in a pre-draft camp, maybe they fit a specific team’s need, maybe some scout’s latte is spiked with angel dust and he hallucinates that you scored 55 points, grabbed 22 rebounds and swallowed a unicorn whole. WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TYLER?

So yeah, keep that in mind as we look at some of these folks.

Darrell Arthur- This is an interesting case because he’s probably already a lottery pick, and yet there is still work to be done. Signs of a mid-range jumper emerged late in the season, which is exactly what scouts were worried about, so the only thing left is probably some strength and overall polish. I think Arthur is a stud, quite frankly and I’m not sure how much better he can get next year at Kansas. He’s very quick and very fast for a power forward and has all the tools to be a go-to scorer once some post moves emerge. Sacramento and New Jersey should fight to the death for this man.

Mario Chalmers- Everyone in the NBA should want Chalmers as their back-up point. He’s probably not going to go as high as he wants, but he has no reason to go back.

Donte Greene- As a Syracuse fan, I obviously want him to come back. The Orange would be filthy next year if he did. And with a final month of the season that basically saw him shoot 25-footers from 30 minutes a game, you wouldn't think he'd be a lottery pick, which is probably what he wants. But the problem is, for me at least, that Greene is a 6-10 athlete with unlimited range and probably one of the top five offensive players in the draft if he stays in. He needs a lot of work, specifically on defense and rebounding, to play either forward spot in the pros, but I fear he's going to hear what he wants once GMs see him in workouts. (sigh).

Chase Budinger- It’s quite possible that Chase has peaked at the ripe old age of 20. The talent is there but if he goes back is he suddenly going to become a good defender or someone that actually cares about basketball 100 percent of the time? No, especially not on a team with a weird coaching situation and yet another incoming guard to steal shots and the spotlight. Budinger isn’t a lottery pick this year, but I don’t think he is next year either. He’s probably a 20-24 guy that will go higher because he’ll be a workout wonder. So I guess he should stay in.

Joe Alexander- I’m not sure what Alexander’s role is in the NBA. It appears his best quality is his scoring and he’s not going to be a go-to scorer in the NBA because there won’t be the mismatches he so frequently saw in college. So why do you draft him? Unless he improves his range out to the NBA three line, you don’t. He’s not an NBA starter right now and should probably go back to school, but I could still justify a playoff team taking him around No. 20 as a potential rotation guy. He and Budinger will have many workouts together, which will most certainly be followed by a friendly milkshake at the diner and some Scrabble.

JJ Hickson- Get the hell out of there JJ, while you still can. I was surprised he didn’t hire an agent right away. I’m assuming due to the atrociousness of the Wolf Pack last year, not enough NBA scouts know about him yet, which is why he might be skeptical of his position. But once he starts working out, he will rise on the draft boards. He needs to work on conditioning and his defense, but the potential to be a great scorer in the NBA is there. He’s a 15-20 guy right now and would be interesting on Philly or Washington.

Ryan Anderson- He’s like Alexander, except taller and better in my opinion. Most people don’t have this opinion. Chad Ford thinks he’s a bubble first-rounder and NBADraft.net doesn’t even think he’ll stay in the Draft, while Alexander is in most top 20s. Anderson is a guy that needs the right fit, an up tempo team with multiple forward options and a good point guard. Some people will say he’s a “tweener” but I don’t there really are tweener forwards anymore. He’s a small-ball power forward and with basically every team in the NBA making frequent use of a small line-up, Anderson could be a legit 15-point scorer pretty soon on a team that likes the pick and pop or has a go-to post scorer that attracts double teams. Teams in the 17-24 range that make sense are Toronto, Cleveland, Denver and (obviously) Utah.

Russell Westbrook- You’re gone Russ. Seriously don’t go back there; we need you in the NBA. I would take Westbrook over every guard in the Draft besides Rose and Mayo. He’s got perfect size, quickness and explosiveness for a combo guard in a league that has seen combo guards thrive under the new rules. He is already a great defender and if he can develop any type of consistent jumper, he will be an assassin. Some will say he needs to be more of a point guard but that would take away a lot of his value because he wouldn’t be going to the basket as much. I hate comparing players but he reminds me very much of Monta Ellis, who will be a top 25 NBA player soon. When all is said and done I expect Westbrook to be a Top 7 guy and end up as possibly one of the top three from this class looking back. So yeah, he should stay in the draft.

Jamont Gordon- Consider me a staunch Jamont Gordon supporter. The big point guard fits much better in the NBA than college because teams can't pack it in on you if you're not a great shooter, which Gordon is not, and guards can actually utilize a post game, which Gordon possesses. He’s going to have to cover shooting guards in the NBA though and is useless as a spot-up shooter off kick-outs, but I don’t see how a guy with his size, ball-handling and strength can’t be a major asset in the NBA. In terms of draft position, which you know, affects his well-being, he should go back, but for me, he is a perfect early-second round steal.

DeAndre Jordan- No one player’s value will be more disputed by me than Jordan. Obviously based on athleticism and size, he is a perfect NBA center. People will see Andrew Bynum and flip out and want to take him Top 10, which will keep him in the draft. But seriously, the guy was terrible last year. He couldn’t stay on the court, took bad shots and nearly all of his success was due to just being bigger and more athletic than everyone. In the right, patient organization he could be great but, man, how can you take someone this unproven in the age-minimum era? Either way, Dick Vitale’s head will explode over Jordan’s draft slot.

Antonio Anderson- Antonio knows exactly what I was talking about in the intro.

Robert Dozier- In cahoots with Antonio Anderson.

Marreese Speights- He could go back to Florida and be a Top 10 guy in 2009, but right now, he’s still pretty freaking good. He’s already got the prototypical NBA power forward body and will be able to hold his own athletically. Speights won’t be a post scorer in the League for another few years though, so whichever team between 12 and 17 takes him will need a viable starting option already.

AJ Abrams- He doesn’t really have any chance of making the first round unless teams are just foaming at the mouth to give a guaranteed contract to a guy whose ceiling is “Eddie House.” Come back and learn to play some point AJ, then we can talk.

Wayne Ellington- I can’t decide if Ellington is a sucky prospect or if he’s just equivalent to Rashad McCants (sadly, not this Rashad McCants). He’s a first-round bubble guy because he pales in comparison to guys like Brandon Rush and Chris Douglas-Roberts. His problem is he doesn’t do one thing exceptionally well and he is undersized. Again, returning to school isn’t going to help his stock that much, but it will be a weaker draft class next year and UNC would probably win the title. Oh, and something like this will still be in the realm of possibility for his life.

Danny Green- He’s actually a better pro prospect than his teammate Ellington because he has better size, long arms and more athleticism. Green sacrificed his numbers because he fit that sixth man role on UNC so well and I think he could eventually fill that role in the NBA. Plus there is the potential for him to be a defensive stopper on an opponent’s best wing player. For some reason I still feel like him, Ellington and Lawson already know they are going back and are just testing the waters in case some team makes a crazy promise. With Isiah Thomas and Billy Knight not in this draft, they shouldn’t hold their breath.

Ty Lawson- Unfortunately the lasting image of Lawson was him clearly not at full strength. He is really fast and a good playmaker, but there were some serious flaws evident this year. He can’t shoot, he has no mid-range game and he seemed to play smaller this year than his freshman year, if that makes any sense. He’s not an NBA starter, plain and simple. That being said, he is probably a late first-rounder, so that might be enough. I’d stay in school, try to get that swag back, win a title, ride some Psycho T coattail and be a Top 5 point in 2009’s class.

Alonzo Gee- Maybe next year.

Lee Cummard- Google search nightmare.

Kosta Koufos- I went all crazy over Koufos in the beginning of the year, as did many NBA scouts I’m sure. Then he basically hit the wall and realized they don’t take kindly to his kind in the college ranks. I still don’t see how a 7-1 power forward who can shoot and handle the ball will fail in the NBA, but I’m not sure he’s a lottery pick right now. Although once NBA scouts see a 7-1 kid nail threes over chairs in workouts, who knows. If he stays another year, he’s probably a lock for the Top 10.

Bill Walker- He can go back to KSU and be “the guy” for a year, which would make him a possible lottery pick in 2009 unless he is murdered by Frank Martin, Crazy Person. It’s impossible to know how the Beasley Effect changed his game. It could have either made him look much better because of the lack of attention or make him look much worse because touches were limited and he had to force everything just to get his numbers. I’d take him in the 20 to 25 range if I was a playoff team that could take a gamble. Oh, and this doesn't fly in the NBA.

Richard Hendrix- Reminds me of the Cedric Simmons, Hilton Armstrong, Josh Boone type as a guy who will be drafted too high by a team loaded with guards just because he is best big man available by default. In that case, he should stay! The NBA: Where multi-million dollar contracts given out by default Happens.

Lester Hudson- I love Lester and would love to waste a second-round pick on him.

Shawn James- Coming to a Turkish League near you.

Josh Carter- He’ll be back, although he probably won’t be happy about it, as the best player on a dismal-looking Aggie team next year. He can shoot and uh… shoot.

DeMarre Carroll- No idea.

Leo Lyons- Whatever you say, Leo.

Jerel McNeal- He is the type of guy that will always be undervalued because of his limitations (ball-handling, shooting) despite the potential to be a great role player in the NBA as a lock-down, Bruce Bowen-type defender. There’s no real reason for him to not come back for another year of college, but I’d put him on my NBA bench today.

Luc Richard Mbah a Moute- Should probably go back to school but in doing so, would immediately risk breaking every bone in his body.

Jeremy Pargo- Prototypical undersized scoring guard. That used to mean you go undrafted, but in today’s NBA, you’re a valuable bench player. He’s actually very much like his brother Jannero, who is great for the Hornets, except stronger with a bit less range. He’s not going to gain anything from another year of college except maybe some more TV games, but he’s probably a 30-40 range guy that sneaks on a roster.

Trent Plaisted- Chad Ford says he could be a mid-to-late first rounder, which is insane. He’s got good post moves but is way too mechanical to be a consistent scorer and won’t be able to guard 80 percent of the 4s and 5s in the NBA. Some terrible franchise that is mesmerized by 7-footers (uh oh, Memphis has the Lakers pick) will take him if he stays.

Josh Shipp- Probably should have done this after last season. Might want to stay in the draft to avoid the embarrassment of losing his starting job with the Bruins next year.

Ronald Steele- Obviously he needs to go back but if I’m Steele (and particularly Steele’s knee), I am scared shitless of Alabama right now. I just hope people don’t forget how incredibly sick he was as a freshman.

Robert Vaden- Under-sized shooting guards who can only shoot make for great tenth and eleventh guys on NBA rosters. Live the dream Robert.

Last time I gave my 2008 lottery picks in no particular order, this time I am giving the guys on this list that would be lotto picks, barring a disaster, next year if they were to go back. And then also the guys who have already announced they are going back to school who will be lotto picks in 2009. And yes, this is pointless.

Darrell Arthur
Russell Westrbrook
Kosta Koufos
Ryan Anderson
DeAndre Jordan
JJ Hickson
Blake Griffin (going back)
Austin Daye (going back)
Hasheem Thabeet (going back)
Tyler Hansbrough (going back)
Patrick Patterson (going back)

The SSS 2008 NCAA Tournament Preview For Non-Psychics: Midwest Region

Waxing poetic about how lovely the NCAA Tournament is seems a bit irrelevant at this point. Certainly "One Shining Moment" will provide a sort of grab-bag of sappiness at the end of the whole thing that will you make you go, "Man, I love March Madness," sigh while looking longingly into the middle distance and then go watch The Hills or something. Now is not the time for such nonsense. March Madness is great! Work sucks! Gus Johnson is so exciting! There, that's done with. What we all want right now is objective, cold-hearted analysis on which teams will prevail and how to win your office pools. I wholeheartedly hope you find something like that. Instead I offer my own brand of regional previews, based solely around enjoying the tournament as much as possible. I'd say "Enjoy" but that goes without saying this time of year.

Previously:
East Region
West Region
South Region

Here is your last region, the Midwest. For the record, I've got Louisville, UCLA and Stanford in the Final Four so far. And once again, be sure to check the great Awful Announcing, which has the first round announcers for each game that can be used for Gus Johnson referential purposes regarding this preview.

1st Round Games
1) Kansas vs. 16) Portland State- The Vikings are the best 16 seed this year, a team that has beaten conference runner-ups Akron and Ooey Pooey (IUPUI) this year and lost to UCLA by "just" 21 and Washington State by "just" 12. So for those of you looking for some fancy pants No. 16 over No. 1, perhaps you have found that opportunity. Now you just need Kansas to come down with a rampant case of the gout, which even the most frigid temperatures or unsavory skanks of Omaha could probably not provide. A less debilitating disease may produce a cover of the spread though.

8) UNLV vs. 9) Kent State- A good example of just how mediocre college basketball this year is UNLV. Last year's team, a No. 7 seed, had at least three players that would be the best on this year's squad, a No. 8 seed. Wink Adams, the only holdover from last year's Sweet 16 participant, will have a very entertaining battle with Kent State "star" Al Fisher. Both programs are used to the NCAAs and getting some wins when there. Actually both of these teams are pretty similar overall, especially in that they will both be destroyed by Kansas in the second round.

5) Clemson vs. 12) Villanova- Along with the underdog Temple Owls and St. Joe's Hawks, Villanova remains the god-forsaken city of Philadelphia's best chance of any postseason win in any of the major sports at any level in 15 months. The Sixers, a team that willfully employs Calvin Booth, and the Flyers, a team that plays hockey, would be the best chance if those three Big Five members fail... for the next six months. Think of this when you are watching the games over the next couple days, and pray that the inevitable riot does not spread across all of civilization. I Am Legend.

4) Vanderbilt vs. 13) Siena- This is everyone's big, special upset pick for this year, not necessarily because they know anything about Siena -- or Vandy for that matter -- but because people on TV are talking about it. I still don't understand why no network, in the history of TV, has actually kept track of how well its analysts' picks have done. I mean, I know the reasons why they do not, but it seems unlikely they could continue to get away with it. Let me set the standard: If Siena does not beat Vanderbilt, we boycott any form of televised Bracketeering... and publicly stone Joe Lunardi.

6) USC vs. 11) Kansas State- YESSSS. Even my shallowly snark-filled approach to this tourney cannot muster up some cynicism for this game. In 40 minutes an NBA scout can take care of 30 percent of the 2008 Draft's top ten. And with Wisconsin, Fullerton, Portland State, UNLV and Kent State also playing in Omaha (along with Kansas), the Selection Committee owes at least that much to those scouts. I'm completely lost on whether to consider KSU a good team or not and this smells of one of those games where you pick USC to go the Elite Eight and they get blasted with 40 and 15 from Beasley. Tim Floyd did easily handle a similarly constructed Kevin Durant-led Texas team last year, which didn't even have a Crazy Person for a head coach, so there's that.

3) Wisconsin vs. 14) Cal-State Fullerton- Another of the Selection Committee's sick, twisted jokes (they need to get a hobby or something), the superslow Badgers (306th in pace nationally) will face the ADDirific Titans (15th in pace nationally). Some people think Fullerton can pull this one off and it's not completely insane because of how well they shoot the ball, but CSF's porous defense can make even Wisconsin look like a modern-day team (rumor has it they still practice with peach baskets). The Badgers offense will be so free and loose compared to Big Ten play, well Bo Ryan might just have to Superman a Hoe:


7) Gonzaga vs. 10) Davidson- I'm as pissed as you about the Selection Committee's decision to recreate the BracketBusters tournament, but this is a freaking great basketball game right here. The Zags used to be just like Davidson, a mid-major with a bunch of nonathletic shooters that play smart, rebound and pass well, but have cashed in that success for some fancy All-Americans that have diminished their chemistry and ability to avoid hallucinating and openly weeping. Davidson, on the other hand, has embraced the style of the original Gonzaga, playing big-time non-conference opponents and making frequent tourney trips with a team that's led by a recent spelling bee champion. All kinds of literary themes going on in this one; hopefully the smarties at Davidson can explain them to Heytvelt. Relate it to Harold and Kumar and he'll be fine.

2) Georgetown vs. 15) UMBC- The Retrievers aren't terrible, even though their nickname would suggest such; I don't even think a youth league team would be caught dead wearing a jersey referring to themselves as a highly domesticated animal. UMBC can shoot a little bit and will probably win the turnover battle with a recently reckless Georgetown team. The Hoyas simply cannot put teams away with consistency so the longer the... uh... let's call them the Vampires... the longer the Vampires can keep the score within shouting distance, the longer G'Town will have to exert some of the energy they'll need against a tough Gonzaga or Davidson team two days later. By the way, Nantz and Packer are doing this one so look for plenty of "man's best friend" puns from Nantz and, with John Thompson, Jr. around, plenty of racism from Packer.

To Watch For
Game You Will Really Wish Gus Johnson Was Announcing- One of the more underrated things about Gus is how much he understands basketball. The guy can identify player's tendencies and teams' strengths and weaknesses like few other announcers. That being said, he knows next to nothing about the players, teams, coaches or conferences relevant to that season. For instance, Gus will quickly recognize that Stephen Curry has a quick release and an ability to use a jab step or perfectly use a screen to get a shot off against a bigger opponent and his trusty relationship with point guard Jason Richards, but he'll have to ask his partner how to pronounce Curry's first name. That's why I wish he was doing that Davidson-Gonzaga game, because it'll be like a really knowledgeable basketball fan watching great players like Stephen Curry or Jeremy Pargo or Austin Daye for the first time. And screaming like an insane maniac all the while.

Game You Should Be Thankful Jim Nantz IS NOT Announcing- If the big Hoyas-Retrievers game seems unbearable, just be thankful he isn't doing the USC-Kansas State game. "Hold the Mayo" lines would be flying like crazy and he would certainly accuse Davon Jefferson of trying to steal his wallet.

Thing That Will Get Stuck In Billy Packer's Craw- Oh my goodness, if they give him 30 seconds of air time to talk about USC and Kansas State and all the one-and-doners, he might lose control of his bladder.

Most Ironic Commercial- During that KSU-USC game, any commercial promoting the benefits for student-athletes of a complete college education .

(If you can't tell, I'm really excited for that game.)

Talking Points That Will Make Your Brain Want To Die- Davidson is very similar to how Gonzaga once was. There is a considerable amount of NBA talent in that 6-11 game. OJ Mayo and Bill Walker are friendly acquaintances. Any success by Villanova should be seen as ironic because it barely made the Tournament.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give CBS Execs Creamed Jeans- Davidson-Georgetown in Raleigh. A bunch of smart kids playing in the heart of North Carolina. Hmm, sounds familiar.

Second Round Match-Up That Would Give Hoops Fans Creamed Jeans, CBS Execs Flaccidity- Nothing jumps out here but Gonzaga vs. Georgetown would be pretty great, especially because the Zags might have more raw talent. CBS probably wants Mr. Heytvelt out of there ASAP.

Best NBA Prospect- Answer unnecessary.

Best Panamanian Super Liga Prospect- Villanova forward Shane Clark has already put a down payment on a Canal-side home.... with a jetski!

Most Likely Teabagging Scenario- As much as Roy Hibbert seems like a nice young man... I hope Jeremy Pargo puts his balls up in Big Roy's face.... For entertainment purposes of course.

Most Unexpectedly Hot Cheerleaders- Despite their pending doom, I've gotta think the girls from Fullerton leave every other team from this region in the dust. Especially Wisconsin. Their team probably doubles as the shot put squad.

Oh, And The Winner Of The Damn Thing- Kansas should waltz to the Elite Eight, but who they face is anyone's guess. I like USC to advance through because they should match-up against very similar, defensive-minded teams (Wisconsin and Georgetown), but of course will have vastly superior talent (the biggest stylistic problem they will face will be KSU actually). The Trojans just really need to take care of the ball against those two. The Jayhawks only beat USC by four back in December at the Galen Center and I think KU can win another close one and go on to San Antonio.

Hooray For Links! March 10

I was never a big proponent of doing link dumps and the like on this site because, well, it didn't really make sense to me. Why would I simply reproduce things that are already out there? But as I did my own scouring of the Intertubes for college hoops content, I realized there was just too much quality (and, at times, utterly awful) stuff out there to simply leave untapped. So I give you Hooray For Links! which should appear at completely random intervals. Because without links, it's not really a blog, it's just a place to put thoughts I might not want to forget.

Them links be after the jump.
Continue...

First off, I was gonna do one of these last week but didn't get around to it so if any of these are old news or have already been determined as uninteresting, I apologize.

- The new Deadspin Media Approval Ratings have been very interesting, especially the results surrounding some college hoops folk. Here they are:

Doug Gottlieb: 44.3%
Billy Packer: 9.5%
Gus Johnson: 90.4%
Erin Andrews: 95.2%
Mike Patrick: 47.8%

It's worth mentioning that ESPN is known for infiltrating these polls when they involve one of their people, which could be why the derisive Gottlieb is near 50 percent (despite being a bully) and the brain-dead Patrick is above 3 percent. Obviously the 5 percent that disapproves of Andrews are women and the 10 percent that disapproves Gus are deaf (my feelings on him are well-documented). Billy Packer's 9.5% was provided solely by the Nantz family.

- Speaking of Gottlieb, USA Today did a feature on him for no apparent reason whatsoever, except to give an already hefty ego and even greater boost. I think Gottlieb is a pretty smart guy and definitely is one of the smarter ESPN hoops analysts. But the way he presents his opinions in that pompous, I'm-the-voice-of-reason-in-college-hoops, I-think-Tom Brennan-is-a-huge-douche type of way, not to mention a completely boring way with no sense of humor (like Brennan), is just unnecessary. I've said this before but he's like one of those guys on the message boards that happens to know more than everyone else and wants them all to know it. Anyway, the feature was an absolute puff piece, barely mentions the credit card thing at Notre Dame or many of his controversial statements. It also contains no sources from Gottlieb detractors, only speaking with his family and co-workers. But read it if you want a reason to dislike Doug Gottlieb some more.

- Dana O'Neill at ESPN.com continues to crank out outstanding pieces in her first few months on the job. This one on Michael Beasley, perhaps the 20th I've read on him, is probably the best look into Beasley's life and mind that has been written. Beasley comes off as a pretty intelligent, thoughtful guy, especially when speaking about the true impact of being a really freaking good 19-year-old basketball player.

"I'm still a kid; I'm still irresponsible and I want to still be irresponsible sometimes," Beasley said as the fans circled behind him. "When I go to the NBA, that's over. My life is America's life. LeBron James gets a speeding ticket, the cop goes on with his day and LeBron is all over 'SportsCenter.' Britney Spears shaves her head, it's everywhere. You shave your hair, who cares? That's why I'm not sure I'm ready for the NBA.

"I mean, what's being famous anyway? It's a popularity contest. Don't get me wrong. I'm lucky. I love my life, but I just don't understand it. I brush my teeth with the same Crest. I use the same bar of soap. My house gets junky just like yours. I'm just a regular guy who can play basketball. I'm normal."

Nah dude, I use Colgate. And unlike the Gottlieb piece, O'Neill confronts Beasley on Dalonte Hill, Bob Huggins and all the weirdness around his recruitment. He acknowledged that he's only at KSU because of Hill but said Frank Martin's head coach position is legitimate. I disagree, but whatever, I can't drop 44 in a Big 12 game.

- Speaking of Kansas State, Big Sexy Jason Whitlock weighs in on the squad and its recent struggles. And wouldn't you know it, Mr. Whitlock has something critical to say. He calls out the fans, Crazy Person Frank Martin's sideline antics and the sulking so often seen from the young guys (not sure I agree on this). Whitlock's a great writer so it's worth a read but don't expect to be smiling when you're done reading.

- I've written a bit on Philadelphia hoops phenom, the as yet unsigned Tyreke Evans. The New York Times decided to do the same and turns in a good feature on the completely ridiculous amount of hoopla surrounding his senior season.

- Kevin Love. John Wooden. Outlet passes. And Brent Musberger gets his first erection in years.
/shudders


- I Loooovveeeee The Drake around here and given the Bulldogs complete destruction of the Missouri Valley, I link this column from ESPN.com's Pat Forde from a couple weeks ago on just how much he too, loves the Drake.

- Patrick Patterson may be coming back to school next year... according to his Facebook page.

- The blinding brilliance of Kissing Suzy Kolber and Big Daddy Drew applies itself to college hoops and Coach K (via Deadspin). And all is right with the world.

- What dreams of made of.


- You've probably heard by now that Lil Romeo is going to USC on a basketball scholarship. You've probably considered how ridiculous this is. The Wall Street Journal would like to confirm how ridiculous this is... as would Tim Floyd. Apparently this is just a package deal with DeMar DeRozan, who is apparently really freaking good and tight with Romeo. Obviously everyone at USC denies that.

- This post at FreeDarko on Mike Dunleavy and his days at Duke, where he recorded a video with a campus comedy group, might be completely useless or awe-inspiringly awesome. Decide for yourself. A teaser: Dunleavy plays Death in Stratego.

- Your obligatory Erin Andrews item.

- Never have I been more excited after a college basketball play than I was after Kristof Ongenaet's steal/crossover/posterizing of Marquette Saturday. I'm assuming that is what people felt like after Jason McElwain made all of those threes.

The Week In Chaos, February 25: Kansas Alters Reality; Indiana Boycotts Pratice, Defense; The Kansas State BeasWalks Lose

Northwestern in practice Friday, preparing for Indiana

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 1 of this week's edition with part 2 coming tomorrow. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity.

AP Top 25 Teams Going Undefeated- 14. Tennessee, North Carolina, UCLA, Texas, Stanford, Xavier, Wisconsin, Georgetown, Indiana, Louisville, Michigan State, Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, Marquette.
AP Top 25 Teams Going Winless- 2. Texas A & M, Kansas State.

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- The mighty Kansas Jayhawks, once an eviscerator of foes so merciless that nary a Big 12 opponent could come within 20 of topping them, lost to Oklahoma State Saturday. Yes Kansas, a title-contending frontrunner just a month ago, was beaten by a team that lost to Oral Roberts by 15 at home, North Texas by nine and Illinois by 16. A team that has a six-game losing streak this season. It was only a one-point loss but there were some disturbing signs of mediocrity. The once feared Kansas perimeter defense was torched by 11-point scorer Byron Eaton, who shot 18 free throws on his way to 26 points. The Cowboys, No. 202 in the country in three-point shooting, were able to go 8-17 against Kansas' supposedly vaunted close-outs and length on the wings. With the third most efficient offense in the country, against, again, a team that lost to freaking NORTH TEXAS, the Jayhawks committed 20 turnovers in 64 possessions and shot 43 percent from the field. The result of all this soul-crushingly confusing nonsense is that Kansas, which has lost two of three, is now a game behind Texas in the Big 12 standings and have lost to the Longhorns in the only head-to-head meeting. What that means is the team once considered the favorite for the No. 1 overall seed is going to need to win the Big 12 Tournament to obtain a regional No. 1 in March. And what THAT means is my whole entire world is collapsing in front of me.

Most Narrow Avoidance of Mediocrity That Should Not Be Forgotten But Will Be- In case you haven't heard, that basketball program over there at Indiana is undergoing significant unrest. And while those matters have certainly made any act of actual basketball completely irrelevant (I mean, think about what the boosters must be going through!), the Hoosiers did still play a game Saturday. And they were awful. Now, with the reports that some players threatened to quit and the seemingly laissez-faire attitude of new coach Dan Dakich toward holding any of those players accountable for skipping practice Friday, I didn't expect a dominating performance by Indiana against Northwestern. But no team, in the history of the world, should give up 82 points to the Wildcats. Northwestern is No. 307 in the country in pace at 63 possessions per game which earns them an average of 63 points per game. It only had 67 possessions against Indiana and scored 82. The only two teams Northwestern recorded a higher offensive efficiency against are Arkansas State and something called Illinois Benedectine. The Hoosiers allowed Northwestern sophomore Kevin Coble to score a season-high 37 points, three more than Eric Gordon and DJ White combined and if it wasn't for Armon Bassett's 24 points and four threes, they would have lost. To Northwestern. A team with ZERO conference wins and a loss to Brown this season. Brown doesn't even have a basketball team. Anyway, despite the three-point win, this has to send a crazed concoction of emotions throughout the Hoosier fanbase, which wanted a public stoning of Kelvin Sampson, essentially got their wish and are left with an angry team, with two players suddenly really looking forward to the NBA, that gives up 82 points to Northwestern. Just a program steeped in tradition.

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- I had two very nice options for this one, both courtesy of Kansas State. First, the Wildcats lost at Nebraska, a team that has kindly given Colorado one of its two Big 12 wins, in the middle of the week. That was an atrocious loss, but I was far more impressed with the completely ass-backwards way they lost to Baylor Saturday. The Bears are a decent team, were at home and desperate for a win, so the six-point loss was unexpected for KSU but certainly forgivable. But when you get 44 from one player, 31 from another and LOSE, well then yes, you are a disgusting mass of mediocrity. Besides Michael Beasley and Bill Walker, the rest of KSU scored 11 points. That group was 3-18 from the field, 1-10 from three and 4-8 from the line. Needless to say, Frank Martin, Crazy Person, probably would prefer a more balanced attack. One of the great things about last year's Texas team was that as the season wore on, the non-Durant/Augustin Longhorns became more involved in the offense, rather than grow accustomed to watching the two freshman stars do whatever the hell they want. As Beasley's numbers continue to border on the absurd (that was his second 40-point game in the last three) and Walker emerges as probably the most underrated freshman in the country, the other Wildcats are disappearing in hopes of deflecting responsibility to the two figureheads. Well the thing is, Beasley and Walker aren't going to suddenly suck because they have to shoot more. They are just going to continue dominating and it looks even worse on the other guys when they do things like score 11 points to Beasley/Walker's 75... and lose. As a result the BeasWalks are now squarely on the Bubble and I would venture a guess that Texas will use a double team or two on Beasley tonight.

Hooray For Links! February 21

I was never a big proponent of doing link dumps and the like on this site because, well, it didn't really make sense to me. Why would I simply reproduce things that are already out there? But as I did my own scouring of the Intertubes for college hoops content, I realized there was just too much quality (and, at times, utterly awful) stuff out there to simply leave untapped. So I give you Hooray For Links! which should appear at completely random intervals. Because without links, it's not really a blog, it's just a place to put thoughts I might not want to forget.

Them links be after the jump.
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- Before we get into anything of substance, great Louisville blog Card Chronicle shares this video of a rapping UL fan, makes world worse place. Reminds me of a young Ghostface. I really should've dedicated a single post to this.

- I really enjoyed Grant Wahl's article in Sports Illustrated a couple weeks ago on the Dribble-Drive Motion Offense that everyone seems so excited about. Now, if you aren't a hardcore basketball person, this whole piece is a waste of your time. It's an in-depth look at how the philosophy was originated, how it works, who is using it and what personnel suits it best. If you enjoy dunks, cheerleaders and screaming at the TV, you probably shouldn't read this. Anyway, the DDM offense has been made most popular by John Calipari and Memphis, which is odd because the Tigers don't really have the ideal players (i.e. jumpshooters) for the offense. But they do have Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, who are both perfect for the penetration and kick offense. They also have Joey Dorsey, who is ideal for this offense because it requires no post scorer and puts a team's big man on the weak side of the ball for offensive rebounds and drive-and-dishes. Still, you wonder if the shooting will be Memphis' tragic flaw. The offense was created by Vance Walberg, who was a JuCo coach at the time, then got a job at Pepperdine and recently resigned/got fired (the one problem with the article is it makes little mention of Walberg's tenure and departure at Pepperdine). Over 300 teams across the country, at all levels of play, now use it and the article contains praise from Larry Brown and Bob Hurley. So if your retinas aren't singed from Bruce Pearl's suit (by the way, the Vols are perfect for DDM and they don't run it), look for that offense Saturday night.

- Kansas State Head Coach and Crazy Person, Frank Martin seems to be getting a lot of love for KSU's success this season and this feature by Chip Brown at the Dallas Morning News continues that trend. Martin, despite being a raging lunatic on the sidelines, actually does seem like he cares about his kids and knows the game. HOWEVA, he still has a very shady past and it seems like no one knows about it besides me and Robert Andrew Powell, the Miami New Times reporter who broke the 1998 story on Martin fabricating addresses for the state champion high school team he coached (which included Steve Blake and Udonis Haslem), an investigation that led to his resignation. Certainly people deserve second chances and performance speaks for itself, but read the 1998 story and then read Brown's feature and see if there aren't some serious contradictions in some of Martin's "do it the right way" quotes.

- I don't like pointing out when I'm right -- actually, who am I kidding, of course I do -- but back at the end of January I had post on the four teams I thought were capable of winning a championship. I picked Kansas, UNC, UCLA... and Louisville. The CHN message board destroyed me for this at the time and much time-wasting vitriol ensued. Well we all know what Louisville has done since and in a recent post at the fabulous Basketball Prospectus the fabulous Ken Pomeroy (I'm not gay) pegged the Cardinals as his "No. 6" team behind the obvious top five of Memphis, Duke, UNC, Kansas and UCLA (this was posted on Feb. 13, so I figure Tennessee is now in there, moving Louisville to No. 7... but I was still right! /stares into distance).

- I've been following the bizarre story of Tim Parmeter, Eastern Arizona JuCo coach who, as originally reported by Gary Parrish, was coaching through the murder-suicide of his ex-wife and child but was recently fired amid allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year old while he was married. I'm not going to elaborate any further on it, and I've gotten some comments here that were both interesting and abhorrent, but if you haven't seen this bizarre story, here is a good follow up from the Arizona Republic.

- I'm really sick of the Kelvin Sampson thing and, besides posting on The Big Lead's anonymous source that said he was going to be fired last Friday which obviously turned out to be wrong, I'm going to ignore it on here. But this piece from Andy Katz served as a great one-stop source for all the nonsense surround Sampson.

- Against all odds, ESPN.com's college basketball coverage has been outstanding lately. In the beginning of the year they just seemed to regurgitate the same played-out storylines but there have been a number of really good, deep pieces lately. I'd like to think a big part of that is the addition of Philly's own Dana O'Neill, former Philly Daily News writer, who turned in a GREAT feature on Alcorn State and the unglamorous life of basketball in the SWAC. It's long but a great read for those sick of the power conference slobbering.

- Keeping with the ESPN theme, Chris Low takes a good look at the long, hard journey of Tennessee-Martin's Lester Hudson, who is one of the most talented players in the country. Hudson has overcome a rough childhood and academic problems to make it to Division I, and he is probably is good enough to play in the major conferences.

- And one more to throw at you, Heather Dinich's feature on Towson junior Tony Durant, who just happens to be the older brother of Kevin Durant. It's a great look at the odd emotional predicament Kevin's success has caused for Tony, who I somehow didn't even know about until I read this piece.

- Two posts from fellow Ravenous Shark Fightin' Blue Hen Dan Steinberg at the outstanding DC Sports Bog. First a great reaction to the idiot court storming from Syracuse fans when the Orange beat Georgetown at home last week. Second, an ever greater post, a report from last night's Virginia Tech-Maryland game where Dorenzo Hudson puked on the floor. If you are a sick, twisted freak here is the video.

- This Deadspin post has all sorts of Bob Knight goodness. Apparently current Nets coach and former Indiana manager was a bit of a douche back in the day, and may have taped Bob Knight giving a terrifying, profanity-laced tirade at halftime of a game, which has made its way onto the Intertubes. Within the post is the story on Frank and audio of Knight's shitstorm. And here is Terry Hutchens original story on the tape.

- Awful Announcing notices something that I too have noticed recently. Brent Musberger (pictured above) is careening toward senility (during a college game he blurts out that the Wizards want to trade Caron Butler!). Between this, his insistence on calling every player only by his first name ("What a rebound by Jamarcus") and his bonechilling ogling of Erin Andrews (I know, pot/kettle/black), I am worried Brett might poop himself during a conference championships game this year. And if only for the comment section, here is Deadspin's approval rating on Musberger. (Yes, I've also found the Brent Musberger Drinking Game, here's to binge drinking Brent!).

- This story has been written about 12 million times but in case you just can't get enough Duke-hating, some fella at MSN tries his hand at explaining why nobody likes the Blue Devils.

- From Scott Van Pelt Style, apparently former Duke forward and obnoxious towel waver Reggie Love is a bodyguard for our next President Barack Obama.

- From the motherland CHN, a nice column on Gonzaga, specifically the dichotomy between Josh Heytvelt and Jeff Pendergraft. Kinda follows a previous sentiment I had on the Zags that with all these All-Americans they have lost the scrappiness and chemistry that made those old Gonzaga teams so great.

The Week in Chaos, February 19: Beasley Reigns, Sampson Survives, Tar Heels Might Fall But Probably Not

Karate chop those allegations Kelvin!

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 2 of this week's edition with part 1, on Texas A & M sucking, Georgetown cheating and Duke humanizing, here. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity. That and I want to make it look like I post more.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance- Sure Missouri is a team decimated by various forms of strife and, as a result, are near the bottom of the Big 12, but that's what we said the last time the Tigers played Kansas State. Without five of their players, Mizzou beat Kansas State just a few days after the Wildcats beat Kansas. Beasley and his boys were a little more focused this time around. B-Easy went for 40 and 17 in just 27 minutes (don't even bother doing the math, your brain will explode) and K-State won by 37. Coach Frank Martin, Crazy Person, still whipped one of his players' nuts with a car antenna, but after seeing the margin of victory, he apologized. Good for him. The Cats forced 24 turnovers, Beasley made five more free throws, scored just 23 fewer points and had just six fewer reboundsthan the entire Missouri team. He then scolded himself for missing 10 shots. When a player scores 40 against someone and he feels as though he underperformed, he is not just being hard on himself. He is indirectly telling the opponent that they do not deserve to share the same plane of existence as him. Nebraska, you're up next, take notes.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- Everyone got their panties in a bunch over Indiana's throttling of Michigan State Saturday night. "What a statement game," people who I refuse to associate myself with are undoubtedly saying. If your statement is, "We can get a home win over a school that has lost to Penn State, Iowa and a D-II team with our coach's job on the line and the most raucous crowd of the season," well then yes, I suppose you made that statement. Now allow me to state that I can beat up most babies. I mean, good for Indiana, good for Eric Gordon who had 28 points and good for Kelvin Sampson who staved off the electric chair (or at least stoning by corn cob) for one night, but you won a home game against an equal team. That's what NCAA Tournament teams are supposed to do. Just because this particular season is void of more than say, eight teams that fit that description, doesn't mean the Hoosiers are headed to San Antonio. Especially when that win was their first notable victory of the season.

Foreshadowing of Chaos, Brought To You by Doom, Powered by The Book of Revelations- New feature where I look ahead to the new poll and predict some kind of insane display of mediocrity to occur. A success rate of more than five percent would be nice here. North Carolina will lose at NC State tonight. If you want a breakdown of the game, still replete with snark, read today's picks. Basically with the Lawson injury, NC State suddenly matches up pretty well with UNC. The Heels enormous advantage at point guard, the Pack's biggest weakness, is mostly erased and NC State's size and athleticism should make buckets hard to come by for UNC's similar parts. Look at the match-ups: Courtney Fells vs. Wayne Ellington; Gavin Grant vs. Marcus Ginyard; JJ Hickson vs. Tyler Hansbrough; Ben McCauley vs. Deon Thompson. I certainly don't see a huge advantage for the Heels. Will all that, plus homecourt, be enough to erase the 31 points NC State lost by in the first meeting? Who knows? The whole point of this post is that college basketball is insane! Weee! Other potential exhibits of awfulness: Xavier losing to Duquesne tomorrow night, Connecticut losing at Villanova Saturday, Wisconsin falling at Illinois tonight.

Bill Walker, World's Greatest Homeless Basketball Player

Bill Walker really had to piss last night, so rather than go to the locker room and deprive his scandalous team of his athletic prowess, he decided to give thousands of people nightmares. The urine stench actually hurt K State's chances because defenders refused to play up on Walker, giving him a plethora of open looks to hoist toward the backboard.

Insert "going problem" joke here.

Most Scandalous Program: The SSS 2007-08 College Hoops Preview for Non-Psychics

By now the sweeping deluge of preseason awards/picks/rankings/All Whatever teams has subsided and given way to a far less exciting form of entertainment, actual live basketball. This pesky little distraction to what is really important - inane speculation plucked ripe from the collective media asshole - what with its final scores and concrete evidence, is not going to deny SSS the right to pillage our own sphincters for blind prognostications pawned off as heavily supported hypotheses. But with all of the standard preseason awards already put into the trusting hands of the media and coaches, SSS gives you its own brand of "alternative" preseason awards, to be distributed periodically over the duration of these fancy tip-off tournaments.

Today: Most Scandalous Program
Previously:
Least Obnoxious Coach: Tony Bennett, Washington State
Most Hated White Guy Award: Drew Neitzel, Michigan State
Most Annoying Announcer (Non Vitale Division): Jim Nantz, CBS

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Right now the honor is being held by Indiana and Kelvin Sampson, who is like the Godfather of shadiness right now. But it won't be long until someone tries to take him down to sit alone atop the mountain of lawless, maniacal, borderline dangerous desire for victory. As we've seen so far this season, just one recruiting class, or even one recruit, can change the course of a basketball program, which means it takes just one Hummer or illegally rented condo or sorority house orgy on a bed of cocaine and caviar to get back on the winning track. Now, there's little doubt that many programs engage in illegal activity but just don't get caught. That's not what I'm interested in. I'm looking for the program that will do whatever the hell they want without worrying about the consequences. The Omar Little of this college hoops shit.

And this year's friend with improper benefits is...

Kansas State
First, some background. The Wildcats sucked ass as a basketball program for a long time. Before last season, they hadn't even been to the NIT since 1999 and haven't been to the NCAAs since 1996. They haven't had a player drafted in the NBA since 1990. So when they needed to find a coach to turn the program around, rather than turn to an upcoming mid-major coach capable of steadily building the program through a winning culture and maximization of resources, they decided to hire Bob Huggins. Yes Huggins, he of the notoriously low graduation rate, asshole at the country club dress/demeanor and thrilling little DUI in 2004 where he got liquored up and yacked in his own car despite having met a recruit just hours earlier. Seriously, the guy is a real-life Nick Nolte.

So he goes out and recruits some studs like Bill Walker and Jason Bennett for the upcoming season where they win 23 games and Huggins goes from "grown man who pukes in his own whip" to "program savior." Then he uses this sudden turnaround to get a higher-paying gig at his alma mater, West Virginia. Yes, just three years after leaving a program in shambles and being unable to walk in a straight line, he has his dream job. Before he leaves though, he locks up Michael Beasley, the top player of 2007, who could've went to a school that you know, has made the fucking NCAA Tournament in the past decade, but instead chose a white, psychotic asshole who coaches in the middle of Kansas. Makes perfect sense.

And it makes even more sense when you consider Huggy's assistants. He decided to hire Dalonte Hill, who was 27 and had just three years of experience on UNC-Charlotte's staff. But he was Michael Beasley's AAU coach, which always helps (Beasley had even committed to Charlotte before changing his mind to KSU). He also hired Frank Martin, who was his assistant with the Bearcats but had just five years of college experience, all as an assistant and only seven as a high school head coach. So, in order to keep Beasley after Huggy left, they took less than 24 hours to immediately promote both his recruiters, Martin to head coach, Hill to top assistant,with only one other candidate being interviewed, Northern Iowa's Greg McDermott. Zero head coaching experience and just 10 assistant years between them and the program was all theirs. All three of Martin's commitments for '08 and '09 (two four-star guys) play for DC Assault, Beasley and Hill's former AAU team. And on top of all that, Martin is a complete fucking nutjob, and a crooked one at that.

When he was a head coach at Miami High, Martin left in as much disgrace as when Huggins left Cincinnati. After winning the 1998 state title, their second straight led by Udonis Haslem and Steve Blake, the Miami New Times found that many Miami players played for Martin illegally (for all the incredible dirt on the guy, click that link). It was also revealed that he illegally recruited players, had most of his players, including Blake and Haslem, live with unpaid "coaches" and boosters or list false addresses to meet school district qualifications and accepted gifts from Nike for choosing them as a sponsor. The New Times reporter went to some of the listed addresses and the people there had no idea who the players even were. He then tried to cover up the dirt, to no avail. They were forced to forfeit every game that season and Martin was fired. From a high school team. Nine years later, he's coaching a top 25 team with the best player in the country. Besides the AOL Fanhouse - so much for these "irresponsible" blogs, with their rap music and pantslessness - I couldn't find any mention of Martin's transgressions when he was hired. The KSU AD said he didn't even know about the investigation.

If that wasn't enough, he stalks the sidelines like a complete madman. He throws clipboards, curses out players, berates refs. Just because the guy is insane doesn't mean he should be investigated but someone who is that obsessive about winning AND has his background, can't be squeaky clean. Plus, they have sucked so far this season, getting crushed by George Mason and needing OT to beat Central Florida. If Martin feels his job security slipping, especially with Beasley leaving after this year, will some lucky recruits or AAU coaches suddenly find three naked gymnasts washing a brand new Benz with Cristal in their driveway? Wouldn't bet against it.

Hype Off! Beasley v. Rose

When not frothing over the March Madness in November! aspect of some of the early season upsets, the college basketball community has been a twitter over a couple of freshmen, namely Michael Beasley and Derrick Rose.

Rose's well-deserved slobbering is a result of his sick dunks, amazing athleticism and blinding quickness, all from the point guard slot. Beasley has been deified for putting up absurd numbers in his first two games in the NBDL, er, college. And because no amount of shouting or flowery feature stories could possibly do the debate justice, we go to oldest trick in the book of bloggery, the tale of the tape to compare the players early season performances.
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Stats
Rose: 19.0 ppg, 5.5 rpg, 3.0 apg, 1.5 TO, 1 spg, 2 bpg, 58.3 FG%, 3/9 3-PT
Beasley: 31.0 ppg, 19.0 rpg... alright this one is over, shit.

Advantage: Beasley

Opponents
Beasley- Sacramento State, Pittsburg State
Alright, so he set the Big 12 single game record in his first game but he did it against a team that was 10-19 last year, returned two starters, has no player taller than 6-8 and has a coach who wets the bed. Alright not all of that is true, but they suck... well, actually they don't suck, at least compared to Pittsburg State. The D-II, so void of talent that they lost the H in a pick-up game, couldn't hold Beasley under 30 but actually led at halftime. I don't care what your stats are, you must destroy Pittsburg State.

Rose- Tennessee-Martin, Richmond
I've heard of Richmond, which is a good start. They are in the A-10, a conference less fraudulent than Conference USA, excluding Memphis of course. But the Tigers only had a one-point halftime lead, allowing the Spiders to score just five fewer points than Maine did the entire game two nights before. Tennessee-Martin at least had a player who could score, Lorenzo Hudson's 35 and were named the Skyhawks, which can be distracting (you know, because there aren't any land hawks, think about it man). Memphis buried those stoners anyway and Rose was all over the place.

Advantage: Rose

Recruitment Shadiness
Beasley: Committed to Charlotte because they hired his AAU coach, then changed his mind to K State after they stole his AAU coach from Charlotte, then wanted to leave when Huggins left KSU, then stayed because the Wildcats promoted his boy and the assistant that recruited him.

Rose: Has been linked to Fonzworth Bentley of basketball, William Wesley, who apparently has more pull within recruiting circles than even John Calipari or Cadillac.

Advantage: Push, seems like pretty routine stuff to me.

Media Fellating
Beasley- Andy Katz and the indestructible time capsule that is his hair, deemed him Player of the Week. High praise indeed.

Rose- Is carrying the torch for David Stern's age-minimum rule and may be Jesus.

Advantage: Beasley, can't argue with Mr. Katz.

Pro Potential Witnessed So Far
Beasley: Already has an NBA body and made his stance known that rebounds are to be his and only his. Can shoot a little from the outside and beat most guards down the court. He also has very little interest in playing anywhere besides the NBA, and enthusiasm is always a plus to employers!

Rose: To the prophets of NBADraft.net, he is the No. 1 pick next year. He is also compared to Dwyane Wade and Gary Payton, which means at some point during his NBA career he will mooch off himself to win a championship. He's 6-4 and faster than all of the other players, plus he could be a terror defensively after some good coaching.

Advantage: Rose. There are plenty of versatile big men in the NBA, not a lot of point guards with Rose's combination of athleticism and skill (Kidd, Paul, Williams, Wade, Arenas, that's it).

The clincher, Dick Vitale's opinion
Rose: "The bar was set high with the outstanding performances of Derrick Rose in wins over Tennessee-Martin and Richmond. Rose's explosiveness, size and speed makes him so tough to defend. He is a special player from out of Chicago. I still can't believe DePaul and Illinois didn't get to keep him in-state." He later went on to say, "Baby."

Beasley: "Kansas State has a man among boys in 6-10 Michael Beasley." Not sure how this conflicts with his "Diaper Dandy" status but I'm certainly giving Chris Hansen a call.

Advantage: Rose. The object of this category was to have Vitale and his rampant senility favor you less and Beasley being put in the same exuberant sentence with "man," "boys" and Vitale is a recipe for disaster.

Congratulations to Mr. Rose, he will now face Brett Favre in the finals.