Rick Majerus Is Comfortable With His Body, Others Are Not

Sports Illustrated has countered its slow death march to irrelevancy with some pretty solid issues to ring in the New Year. I already mentioned Gary Smith's outstanding piece on San Diego freshman Rob Jones. They profiled Michael Beasley last week. But this week it was Rick Majerus that caught the eye of SI, in a long piece from SL Price. And let's just say the Billikens recent struggles were not of interest to Price.

Instead it was Majerus' bizarre personality, which includes both admirable tales of generosity and consideration for his players, and well, things that could be considered the exact opposite. I've always liked Majerus as an analyst; he knows the game incredibly well and is a fun, positive guy, but some of his strange comments (and the Ashley Judd-porn remark) kinda make more sense after reading this piece. As Price says, he's a passionate guy who doesn't always choose the best ways to express it.

Anyway, here's some highlights taken directly from the article, after the jump (Warning: Do not read during breakfast, around small children or if pregnant).
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- Regularly called his players a vile word for the female sexual organ" (rhymes with bunt)

- During the 2001-02 season Majerus reportedly called Lance Allred, a backup center who was 75% deaf, "a disgrace to cripples" who had "weaseled [his] way through life using [his poor] hearing as an excuse." In response, Majerus said, "I honest to God don't remember. I'm not even going to address it." Two players confirmed the report to Price.

- During a game in 1999 Majerus gathered his team around him during a timeout and zeroed in on struggling center Nate Althoff. "You've got none of these," Majerus growled, and then reached over and lightly backhanded Althoff's groin. "You've got no nuts!"

- Majerus to some St. Louis boosters in October: "You always coach based on your personnel," Majerus begins, but he veers off again. "You know, at Utah I had five, six, seven teams [with hardly] a brother on them. It's hard to live without brothers. But if I took a black kid at Utah.... It's very difficult...."

Read with caution...
- Jeff Johnsen: "The first time, [Utah was] recruiting me, and after the game I went down to the [Utes'] locker room," says Jeff Johnsen, who signed with Utah in 1996. "His hair's everywhere and his sweater's off and he's just drenched, and he's eating a whole pizza in front of me and he's like, 'You want any?' I grab a piece, and then he starts undressing and gets in the shower and is still talking to me. It was funny. It was weird. How many grown, fat, naked men do you see when you're a high school kid?"

- "He'd answer the door in his towel and I'd come in and the towel would fall off and it was like nothing had happened. He'd just be standing there buck naked. One year he had this lower-back injury, and he would have the trainer massage it with ultrasound. But instead of just lowering his pants a little bit, Majerus would pull his pants down to his ankles and sit in a chair and coach us. Sometimes he'd be like, 'Guys, bring it in, take a knee.' We'd come in, and we're just like, No way this is happening."

- Once during the 1995-96 season Majerus got so desperate -- to make a point, to lighten the mood -- that he flashed his team. It was during a morning shootaround. Majerus kept telling Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. " 'Jesus f------ Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!' " Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. "Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, 'Six f------ inches,' and he says, 'the size of the average white d---!' and pulls it out. That story spread like wildfire, but at the time it's not funny. At the time you're terrified."

- Doleac describes the huddle during a Sweet 16 struggle with Stanford in the 1997 NCAA tournament in which Majerus grabbed Mottola's testicles and said, "Have some f------ balls, Hanno!"

- Majerus says that all players, particularly disgruntled ones like McTavish, embellish their war stories.

And, now I know what Tommy Liddell's dad was talking about.
- Today it's easy to identify his prime target. "He's been hell for me," says Billikens junior guard Tommie Liddell III. "But I look at it as a positive thing." Sleepy-eyed and talented, with a meddlesome father and tardiness issues to boot, Liddell is almost custom-made to drive Majerus mad. Three times the coach lights into Liddell for middling effort. When Majerus sees who's just blown past his prodigy to score an easy layup, it's too perfect. Today's winner? Mike the Walk-On. Majerus says these words once, twice, and suddenly he's addicted to them; Mike the Walk-On becomes an honorific, like Peter the Great, for sophomore guard Mike Jones. Dribble, shuffle -- stop! "Mike the Walk-On would give his right nut to have your ability," Majerus tells Liddell. Dribble, shuffle -- stop! "How does a 5' 9" walk-on knock you out of the play?"

***

Now, these are all, admittedly, taken a bit out of context. Some of the incidents were relayed by former players who loved Majerus, but the anecdotes were a way to illustrate his peculiar personality. There are plenty of stories about how good of a man Majerus is too, like consoling Van Horn after his father died, taking in an abandoned baby left on his doorstep in Utah, crying when he talks about Andre Miller's graduation. Read the whole story because there's more to Majerus than these brash acts. He's a divisive guy, love him, hate him or both.

St. Louis Decides To Slow It Down... Considerably

This just ended, and a mere glance at the final score had me racing to my computer.

George Washington 49, St. Louis 20 FINAL

Yes, that is real. If you remember earlier in the week, everyone laid into Savannah State for only scoring four points in the second half against Kansas State on 1-23 shooting, both record lows for a half in the shot clock era. Well, they scored five points more than Rick Majerus' Billikens did tonight. To make up for the unfair treatment of the Tigers, let's take a painfully close look at some fun stats from the game.

First, GW was 4-6 going into the game, St. Louis was 9-5 and was also picked to finish third in the preseason in the Atlantic 10. In their last game, the Colonials gave up 93 points to Alabama. They lost by 12 to 5-10 Binghamton. OK, so GW sucks, we know that. On to the carnage.

St. Louis scored seven points in the first half. They shot 7-48 from the field for the game for 14.6 percent. They had two less foul shots made (5) than field goals (7). Their leading scorer was 7-foot backup center Bryce Husak... with five points, two BELOW his average. They were 1-19 from three-point range. On the bright side, they had an assist on over half their field goals. They also had a balanced scoring attack, with seven different players scoring and only one making more than one field goal (Luke Meyer's two). St. Louis was also MORE aggressive than GW, shooting 10 foul shots to the Colonials' three. Oh, and just for good measure: Rick Majerus is fat. Might as well kick them while their down.

UPDATE: Here's some more. They missed 23 consecutive shots at one point. Kevin Lisch scored the 1,000 career point of his career. Must be a proud evening in the Lisch household. St. Louis how a drought of 18 minutes without a field goal. They were 3-25 from the field in the first half, which would've shot Savannah State out of the gym the other night.

All told, it's the lowest point total for one team in a game in the shot clock era. Yes, in all the lopsided match-ups in Division I since 1985, St. Louis scored less points than everyone. In a CONFERENCE GAME NO LESS! And they were only 1.5 point underdogs! GW scored 49 points and beat the spread by 27.5! Speaking of lines, the over/under was 119.5, which for those of you who can't divide, is UNDER 60 points per team. They still missed it by 50.5. I'm watching Illinois play Wisconsin right now and I want to stab my eyes out. It's a shame it wasn't Noose Night at the Smith Center, it would've been like Heaven's Gate over there.

Now the Billikens aren't a high-powered team by any means. Over at KenPom.com they average just 58.7 possessions per game, which is 336th out of 341 in the country, but taking a quick glance at the 48 shots, 14 turnovers and 10 offensive rebounds, I would guess they are right around their average in possessions. GW averages 68.1 possessions per game, which is right at average. You can crunch all the advanced stats you want, St. Louis just flat out sucked, probably more than any other team ever. They play Dayton on Saturday and will be roughly a 50-point underdog.

Something tells me there won't be too many players' parents defending their kids on the Billikens' message boards tomorrow.

Billiken Dad Rips Majerus on Message Board, But At Least He Didn't Threadjack

Came across a delightful little story today from the venerable Gary Parrish at CBS Sportsline. Apparently Tommie Liddell III, a guard for Rick Majerus' mighty St. Louis Billikens, hasn't been playing so hot under his new coach. So his father, Tommie Liddell Jr. decided to blast on Majerus at the warmest of support groups, a fan message board. Here is the post from the marvelously inconspicuous TDell at the Billikens.com board.

thetorch where did you play college ball, probably no where. This is a new coach with a new system, everybody's saying how good of a coach Majerus is, I dont see it anybody can run around and set screens you dont have to have talent to do that. Majuerus doesn't want any fancy stuff just plain basketball. Tommie played well his first two years now all of a sudden he's not, its not Tommie it's the coach. I'd rather have Sodie.

That was in response to this post by a man known only as "The Torch"...

Tommie Liddell III - Half the player he was in his first 2 years. Committed a handful of dumb TOs. From the point or wing position doesn't matter, he doesn't know what he is doing on offense. He had several Isos run for him and he only took a couple of them. Playing nervous, half speed, and is afraid to make mistakes or take poor shots. This isn't something that will just click on. We are in trouble if Tommie doesn't get some confidence and start dictating the offense.

TDell then did some good-old fashioned backtracking once he started taking heat for the comment...

I never talked to Bernie about that post, he doesnt know who posted it. My buddy who is ESTLALUMNI on this board couldnt remember his password so I let him use mine.I did read it I didnt think it was a big deal. Lets get one thing straight Tommie loves Majerus what ever I post on here those are my thoughts. Do you guys remember I said I would never post anything negative unless someone else posted it first. That guy Bernie I dont know him and I never talked to him

I know what you're thinking. St. Louis has an active message board? Seriously though, the real issue is why the hell a player's dad is on a message board of his son's team. Why can't parents just learn of their child's ridicule the conventional ways: black eyes and homosexuality. As Parrish astutely points out, some people on these message boards are highly biased and irrational. Their anonymous screen name is like a Never Leave the House Free Card. Ripping apart the cool jocks they never were from the privacy of their own home and not having to face the consequences (completely unlike bloggers, who are noble, upstanding citizens). Most parents can't take any criticism of their kids, let alone daily lambasting from the harshest of individuals.

But what interests me most is that this seems like a fascinating development for 21st Century Soccer Dads across the country, nay, the globe. Rather than save your deranged complaints about your son's squandered talent for some uninterested parent next to you, do it under an (almost) anonymous handle at the only place people actually care about the St. Louis Billikens, a message board. Not sure if this tactic of the devastatingly overbearing parent is more efficient than the conventional method of beating the piss out of a rogue coach, but man is technology crazy!

Anyway, it all got me thinking, what are some other message board shenanigans we might see this year...

DPaul3- greg's defense is fine, it's his opponents fault. in high school they were learning things like crossover moves and developing quickness while greg was playing football. cuz of all the hits he took, he can barely see the color orange anymore.... and his ankles are fine... i mean, that's what i heard at least.

RHeyt42- theo could never remember where he put his drugs so josh let him use his back seat... let's get one thing straight, josh hates drugs.

wimpyKU- billy coached good at his other teams. its lexington, not billy. all they want is winning basketball. i, er, he'd rather have college station.

durhamdick4- everyone is sayin how duke was so overrated last year but neone can say that...baby... all u need is a internet connection and you can critisize them, it takes no talent... (baby)... a real analyst uses catch phrazes and screams like a toddler... dipsy do... coach k can flat out coach... where did you ever coach? probably nowhere... dunkeroo.