Bracketology, Just Because: Villanova and Virginia Tech Edition

The end is near. Mercifully.

In the edict for those of us on the Intertubes that use words to describe college basketball in informed (hopefully) and entertaining (rarely) ways, the right to create a bracket is indelible. It's right there with making fun of Dick Vitale and finding Erin Andrews attractive in the "Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness" portion of our Constitution. And even though you can go basically anywhere else to get one of these bad boys (including here, here, here and here), I'm going to post my projected bracket every Tuesday and Friday until Selection Sunday anyway, with each including a extra special bonus*: a profile of a Bubble team or two.
*bonus may not be extra or special

Since it's basically impossible to post an entire bracket in a Blogger post without burning the retinas of readers, you can check it out in beautiful yet annoying spreadsheet form by clicking the link below. (Hypothetical conference champs, the yellow cells, based on conference tourney seedings; confirmed auto-bids in teal or whatever that is).

Bracketology, March 14

OK, so it appears that no one is interested in playing in this little tournament we have coming up here. The only Bubble team that played yesterday and actually won was St. Joe's (if you considered UNLV and West Virginia Bubble teams, they won too), which means the Hawks should be in, win or lose today vs. Xavier, especially after UMass, which they have beaten twice, blew an 18 point second half lead to Charlotte. The result is actually a clearer Bubble, because teams like UAB, Florida, New Mexico and Maryland played themselves completely out of the discussion. A team like Illinois State, which is a fraud, now has new light, because it's probably going to be the only Bubble team to make its conference final. It lost by 30 in that game and has zero wins against the RPI Top 50, but hey, at least they actually beat a basketball team to get there! Yippeee!

True Bubble (in order of security): Baylor, Arkansas, Ohio State, Oregon, Arizona State, St. Joe's, Villanova, South Alabama -- They are in as of this second with Baylor, despite that ugly loss to Colorado, probably being a lock but deserving to be grouped with like-minded mediocrity and South Alabama just waiting to be knocked out. On the outside, you've got: Illinois State, Mississippi, UMass, Virginia Tech, VCU and Temple. Illinois State is first out for me, but probably just dependent on how the Committee compares them to other teams and two teams, Virginia Tech (more on them below) and Temple, with a chance to play their way in. Temple needs to beat Charlotte and at least play the A-10 Final tight with St. Joe's or Xavier to have an at-large chance. So that's 14 teams vying for eight spots, with only four of those teams still playing this week. Can we just make this like a 58 team tournament? I don't want to have to watch any of these teams play basketball anymore.

Bubble Profiles
Previously:
March 13, South Alabama and Illinois State
March 11, Arizona State and Mississippi
March 7, Ohio State and Florida
March 4, Maryland and New Mexico
February 29, St. Joe's and Kentucky
February 26, Rhode Island and UAB

IN: Villanova
Record: 20-12 (9-9 Big East), 4-7 road, 3-7 vs. RPI Top 50, 7-9 vs. Top 100
RPI: 51
Key Wins: George Mason (N), Temple, Pittsburgh, Syracuse (2), West Virginia, Connecticut
Key Losses: NC State, DePaul, Rutgers, St. Joe's, Cincinnati, Georgetown (2)


When that quarterfinal game against Georgetown ended yesterday I think the Cats were out, even with the win in that "play-in" game against Syracuse. But after every damn Bubble team went out and shit the bed, the Cats were given new life. Congratulations (?). There are some solid wins, all of which are at home (of those four road wins, one was in Philly, one was over Syracuse and the other two were against bottom five Big East teams), but some bad losses, all of which were on the road. This is basically a perfect example of how weak the Bubble is this year. A team that basically played its schedule about as adequately it could, with a fairy middle-of-the-road non-conference sked and allowed other teams to lose their way out of the tourney to make room for them. The Cats will certainly be one of those teams that ESPN or CBS has the camera on the whole Selection Show for their reaction to whether they get in, because they are more squarely on the Bubble than any other BCS league team, barely more so than Arizona State and Oregon. For those three teams it will depend on if the Committee is in a mid-major mood this year or a BCS mood this year. By the way, this is the one team I have in that Lunardi has out, which is probably a bad thing for me, because I think he's been clueless this year. I have Illinois State out, he has them safely in. He has South Alabama very safely in, but I don't think they will survive the weekend.

How To Stay/Get In: The chairman of this year's committee is George Mason AD Tom O'Connor and Nova's best OOC win was a pretty decisive win over the Patriots. Jay Wright seems like a man of integrity, but there are some shameful things I can think of, Jay, that might "make sure" O'Connor "remembers" that game./shudders

OUT: Virginia Tech
Record: 18-12 (9-7, ACC), 4-8 road, 0-6 vs. RPI Top 50, 5-9 vs. Top 100
RPI: 59
Key Wins: Maryland (2), seriously that's it
Key Losses: Butler, Gonzaga, Penn State, Richmond, Clemson, Duke, UNC, Miami

Any other year and this team would have zero chance of getting in. But after what happened yesterday, the Hokies have a chance to get into the ACC semis when most other Bubble teams couldn't get past the quarters (or even into the quarters) of lesser leagues. They only had to play the top three and No. 5 (Miami) in the league once each and loss all of them with Sunday's one-point loss at Clemson a heartbreaker that added them to the list of Bubble teams, along with Arizona State and Villanova, that have poor officiating as a big factor in their fate. There are no good wins to speak of here, just an easy in-conference schedule that allowed them to beef up their record on the bottom-feeders in the league and get a fourth place ACC finish that usually means an at-large bid. Virginia Tech did play Butler and Gonzaga tough in a decent OOC schedule but there just isn't a lot to like here. And yet, somehow, a win today might be enough.

How To Stay/Get In: Some will point to today's game against Miami and say if the Hokies win they are in, but I'm not entirely sure. If they win they are right on the Bubble, but still can't really compare to Villanova, Arizona State and Oregon as BCS teams with signature wins. Now if they win and play UNC tough in the semis, you could probably make a case for them to be included over South Alabama, VCU or Illinois State, the three mid-major teams that will be in Bubble consideration, that are also lacking marquee wins. Of course, V-Tech is also going to need Temple to fade away and maybe a similar team like Arkansas, which doesn't have too many great wins, to lose early in the SEC. Or, and this is kinda radical, the Hokies could -- stay with me here -- actually beat a good team like UNC to win their way into the NCAAs. But that's just plain silly.

The Week In Chaos Bubble Edition, March 3: St. Joseph's Implodes; Kentucky Sheds Mediocrity... By Losing; Ohio State Soils Self

Even your gimpy, Faux-hawked, bench-dwelling self, Greg, could improve this Ohio State team.

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 1 of this week's edition with part 2 coming tomorrow. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity.

Always one to adapt to my environment, I will be shaking things up with the Week In Chaos this time around. The Top 25, while still yielding its fair share of ass-backwardness (see: Texas Tech over Texas, Bowling Green over Kent State, Indiana getting butt-pummeled by Michigan State), it was a fairly timid week as far as catastrophes go. But on the back end of the "relevant" teams, i.e. the Bubble, things have gone completely haywire resulting in the most mediocre Bubble of my lifetime. If you look at the Bracketology (or you can go here, which includes more gratuitous Ashley Judd), all the teams below about a No. 9 seed are absolutely atrocious, have only earned their perilous spot in the NCAAs by "losing less abominably" and wouldn't make any March Madness of the past decade. So instead of leaving those teams' suckiness in the shadows let's focus on the real purveyors of mediocrity, the Bubblers.

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- If you are a Philadelphia sports fan, I'm going to save you some time and deep thinking: No, life is not worth living. Given the struggles of its pro teams this year, Philly could take solace in the tradition-rich Big 5, the proudest in-city rivalry series in the country, providing some entertainment or triumph. Surely Villanova, a team ranked for much of the season, and St. Joe's, a talented team rising up the standings of the upstart Atlantic 10, would give Philadelphians some kind of postseason thrill. Well, actually, no. Villanova defecated the bed and with St. Joe's as the city's last, best hope of avoiding a shutout in the NCAA Tournament, it lost to St. Louis and Temple last week, both at home (although the Temple game was at the Palestra, a neutral site but considered a Hawks home game). Yes, with the season on the line, the Hawks lost to the mighty Billikens, 20-point losers to St. Bonaventure Saturday, 20-point scorers against George Washington this year and protector of its rotund, penis-exposing, baby-killing overlord, Rick Majerus. Despite having a considerable size advantage, the Hawks were outrebounded by 14 and allowed the excruciatingly conservative Billikens to take 19 foul shots. St. Joe's then blew a 14-point second half lead last night to Temple, which ironically now might have a better tournament resume than the Hawks. Somehow the Sixers are suddenly Philadelphia's best chance at a postseason victory this year... pause for coldhearted reality to set in... That is not a world I want to live in.

Most Narrow Avoidance of Mediocrity That Should Not Be Forgotten But Will Be- Bare with me on this one because I am going to switch this category up a bit at the risk of blowing your mind. The "winner" of this award is Kentucky, which lost by three at Tennessee Sunday. Now, you ask, how can a three-point loss be considered a narrow avoidance of mediocrity? Well, because it was a MUCH closer game than anyone could have expected. Given the craptasticness of the Bubble this year, Kentucky actually gained ground BY THE WAY IT LOST. Yes, it has gotten that bad this year. The Wildcats, who have done everything asked of them in conference play to turn their once lowly season around, were on the precipice of a backdoor at-large bid by simply beating the mediocre morass of the SEC (and Vandy and Tennessee at home) and watching as everyone else lost. Then they got the awful news that Patrick Patterson, a guy who carried the Cats for a good portion of the season when they were merely trying to stop the bleeding, was out for the year with an ankle injury. With that injury, most right-minded basketball folk thought, went Kentucky's tourney hopes and certainly any chance of staying within 20 in Knoxville over the weekend. Instead the Cats slowed the game to their own tempo, played that hard-nosed Billy G D and fought valiantly to a narrow defeat. Reserve Perry Stevenson played outstanding in Patterson's absence with 13 and 14 and UK showed the committee that it can compete even without its best player. There's no reason the Cats should be evaluated any differently now than they would've been with Patterson and I still think wins over South Carolina and Florida to close the regular season and a semifinal SEC Tourney run might be enough for an at-large given the Bubble carnage elsewhere. I have them in as a 13 seed in tomorrow's Bracketology, Just Because. And yes, your mind just got blown. Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- Look, anyone who knows anything about college hoops, knows Ohio State is a bad basketball team. Yet somehow it had managed to manipulate an overrated schedule and an awful bottom half of the Big Ten to make it look like a possible tournament team. No more. The Buckeyes have now lost four straight (including one to Michigan) and capped off that postseason-destroying run with a thrashing at the hands of Minnesota Saturday. The Gophers, who improved their record to a stellar 1-9 against the RPI Top 100 with the win, have given up 84 points to the seldom-oiled tinmen of Illinois this season and OSU could only manage 57. It was the second-slowest paced game of the season for the Gophers and the Buckeyes still sent them to the line 25 times (the only teams to play shittier defense send the Gophers to the line at a higher rate this year are Central Michigan, South Dakota State and Northwestern). In a league where any self-respecting tourney hopeful is basically handed double-digit conference wins, the Buckeyes are now tied with Minnesota at 8-8 with home games against Purdue and Michigan State closing out the regular season. If they can win both (and they are 0-5 against the top four in the Big Ten this year) then maybe they will look good enough to get massacred by a No. 4 or 5 seed in March. Keep your fingers crossed Buckeye fans!

The Week In Chaos, February 25: Texas Appears Permamently Good; Xavier Flies Above A-10 Fray; Stanford Will Lose to Washington But Probably Not

The 2008 Atlantic-10 Tournament Official Program Cover Photo

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 2 of this week's edition with part 1, on Kansas entering the Land of Mediocre, Indiana making Northwestern look like a Division I team and Kansas State's role players disappearing, is here. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity. That and I want to make it look like I post more.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance- At this point, basically any highly ranked favorite that covers a spread or even you know, wins, could be considered for this faux-prestigious non-honor. But Texas, God bless them, beat down RPI-abuser Oklahoma Saturday, 62-45, in that Red River Thingamajig. After being destroyed by Missouri and Texas A & M earlier in the season, I was conditioned to take any subsequent Longhorn success with a grain of salt. Narrow escapes of Colorado, Oklahoma State and Iowa State seemed to only add to that uneasiness. But ever since that victory over Kansas, the Longhorns have been playing better basketball than anyone in the country, winning eight straight and 11 of 12, and it was nice to see them maintain a level of success that seems to have a shelflife of about four games, even for some of the top teams, this year. Everyone knows about Texas' multifaceted, efficient offense but against Oklahoma it showed a level of defense that transforms the Longhorns from good team to title contender. They held the Sooners to 26 percent shooting, with only Blake Griffin reaching double figures. Many are touting Texas as a potential No. 1 seed and it appears only a Big 12 tourney loss to Kansas, or a Rick Barnes Timid Coaching Special circa 2007, will change that fate.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- Given the carnage going on around the country among the top teams, it's rather remarkable that Xavier has won ten straight, especially in the cannibalistic, at-large bid-destroying menace that is the A-10. Thusly, everyone likely would have forgiven the Musketeers if they lost at once-proud, now floundering Dayton Sunday. Instead, Xavier beat Dayton at their own game: a low scoring slugfest. The X-Men have now basically locked up the regular season A-10 crown and are in good position for a No. 2 or 3 seed in the NCAAs. Meanwhile, the rest of the A-10 is engaged in a Lord of the Flies-like test of survival to see who can destroy enough peers to grab another at-large bid. I just hope Richmond wins the league and it spontaneously combusts.

Foreshadowing of Chaos, Brought To You by Doom, Powered by The Book of Revelations- Last week's pick of North Carolina State over UNC was woefully incorrect and I wouldn't have it any other way. The main goal of this section is to make an insane prediction, try to provide a reasoning that, given this season's crapshootedness, makes you somehow believe it might actually happen and then, regardless of the outcome, celebrate my ability to use mediocre basketball to affect your perception of reality. This is what I want in life. For a mildly insane prediction, check out today's picks, in which I predict Tennessee to lose to Vandy tonight due mostly to Bruce Pearl's inner sexual desires toward sideline reporters. But that pick doesn't quite do it for me. No, this week I got Stanford losing to Washington Thursday. The Cardinal are one of my favorite teams this year and behind possible best player in country Brook Lopez, could be poised for a Final Four run. So naturally, they will lose to the ninth place Huskies. Washington isn't as bad as it seems, with all 13 of its losses to top 100 teams and a win over UCLA. If the Huskies were in any other conference they could probably be a Bubble team, actually. They also have Jon Brockman, a guy who is physical enough to frustrate the emotionally explosive Lopez twins and maybe force some cheap fouls, and enough speed and athleticism at the wings and in the backcourt to take advantage of Stanford's more timid, plodding ballhandlers (you're starting to believe me aren't you?). In its last three, Stanford lost to Arizona State, were handed a victory by the refs at Arizona and struggled to eventually put away Cal; I think the luck runs out and a loss finally happens.*
*loss will not actually happen

The Week In Chaos, February 25: Kansas Alters Reality; Indiana Boycotts Pratice, Defense; The Kansas State BeasWalks Lose

Northwestern in practice Friday, preparing for Indiana

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 1 of this week's edition with part 2 coming tomorrow. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity.

AP Top 25 Teams Going Undefeated- 14. Tennessee, North Carolina, UCLA, Texas, Stanford, Xavier, Wisconsin, Georgetown, Indiana, Louisville, Michigan State, Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, Marquette.
AP Top 25 Teams Going Winless- 2. Texas A & M, Kansas State.

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- The mighty Kansas Jayhawks, once an eviscerator of foes so merciless that nary a Big 12 opponent could come within 20 of topping them, lost to Oklahoma State Saturday. Yes Kansas, a title-contending frontrunner just a month ago, was beaten by a team that lost to Oral Roberts by 15 at home, North Texas by nine and Illinois by 16. A team that has a six-game losing streak this season. It was only a one-point loss but there were some disturbing signs of mediocrity. The once feared Kansas perimeter defense was torched by 11-point scorer Byron Eaton, who shot 18 free throws on his way to 26 points. The Cowboys, No. 202 in the country in three-point shooting, were able to go 8-17 against Kansas' supposedly vaunted close-outs and length on the wings. With the third most efficient offense in the country, against, again, a team that lost to freaking NORTH TEXAS, the Jayhawks committed 20 turnovers in 64 possessions and shot 43 percent from the field. The result of all this soul-crushingly confusing nonsense is that Kansas, which has lost two of three, is now a game behind Texas in the Big 12 standings and have lost to the Longhorns in the only head-to-head meeting. What that means is the team once considered the favorite for the No. 1 overall seed is going to need to win the Big 12 Tournament to obtain a regional No. 1 in March. And what THAT means is my whole entire world is collapsing in front of me.

Most Narrow Avoidance of Mediocrity That Should Not Be Forgotten But Will Be- In case you haven't heard, that basketball program over there at Indiana is undergoing significant unrest. And while those matters have certainly made any act of actual basketball completely irrelevant (I mean, think about what the boosters must be going through!), the Hoosiers did still play a game Saturday. And they were awful. Now, with the reports that some players threatened to quit and the seemingly laissez-faire attitude of new coach Dan Dakich toward holding any of those players accountable for skipping practice Friday, I didn't expect a dominating performance by Indiana against Northwestern. But no team, in the history of the world, should give up 82 points to the Wildcats. Northwestern is No. 307 in the country in pace at 63 possessions per game which earns them an average of 63 points per game. It only had 67 possessions against Indiana and scored 82. The only two teams Northwestern recorded a higher offensive efficiency against are Arkansas State and something called Illinois Benedectine. The Hoosiers allowed Northwestern sophomore Kevin Coble to score a season-high 37 points, three more than Eric Gordon and DJ White combined and if it wasn't for Armon Bassett's 24 points and four threes, they would have lost. To Northwestern. A team with ZERO conference wins and a loss to Brown this season. Brown doesn't even have a basketball team. Anyway, despite the three-point win, this has to send a crazed concoction of emotions throughout the Hoosier fanbase, which wanted a public stoning of Kelvin Sampson, essentially got their wish and are left with an angry team, with two players suddenly really looking forward to the NBA, that gives up 82 points to Northwestern. Just a program steeped in tradition.

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- I had two very nice options for this one, both courtesy of Kansas State. First, the Wildcats lost at Nebraska, a team that has kindly given Colorado one of its two Big 12 wins, in the middle of the week. That was an atrocious loss, but I was far more impressed with the completely ass-backwards way they lost to Baylor Saturday. The Bears are a decent team, were at home and desperate for a win, so the six-point loss was unexpected for KSU but certainly forgivable. But when you get 44 from one player, 31 from another and LOSE, well then yes, you are a disgusting mass of mediocrity. Besides Michael Beasley and Bill Walker, the rest of KSU scored 11 points. That group was 3-18 from the field, 1-10 from three and 4-8 from the line. Needless to say, Frank Martin, Crazy Person, probably would prefer a more balanced attack. One of the great things about last year's Texas team was that as the season wore on, the non-Durant/Augustin Longhorns became more involved in the offense, rather than grow accustomed to watching the two freshman stars do whatever the hell they want. As Beasley's numbers continue to border on the absurd (that was his second 40-point game in the last three) and Walker emerges as probably the most underrated freshman in the country, the other Wildcats are disappearing in hopes of deflecting responsibility to the two figureheads. Well the thing is, Beasley and Walker aren't going to suddenly suck because they have to shoot more. They are just going to continue dominating and it looks even worse on the other guys when they do things like score 11 points to Beasley/Walker's 75... and lose. As a result the BeasWalks are now squarely on the Bubble and I would venture a guess that Texas will use a double team or two on Beasley tonight.

The Week in Chaos, February 19: Beasley Reigns, Sampson Survives, Tar Heels Might Fall But Probably Not

Karate chop those allegations Kelvin!

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 2 of this week's edition with part 1, on Texas A & M sucking, Georgetown cheating and Duke humanizing, here. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading/writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity. That and I want to make it look like I post more.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance- Sure Missouri is a team decimated by various forms of strife and, as a result, are near the bottom of the Big 12, but that's what we said the last time the Tigers played Kansas State. Without five of their players, Mizzou beat Kansas State just a few days after the Wildcats beat Kansas. Beasley and his boys were a little more focused this time around. B-Easy went for 40 and 17 in just 27 minutes (don't even bother doing the math, your brain will explode) and K-State won by 37. Coach Frank Martin, Crazy Person, still whipped one of his players' nuts with a car antenna, but after seeing the margin of victory, he apologized. Good for him. The Cats forced 24 turnovers, Beasley made five more free throws, scored just 23 fewer points and had just six fewer reboundsthan the entire Missouri team. He then scolded himself for missing 10 shots. When a player scores 40 against someone and he feels as though he underperformed, he is not just being hard on himself. He is indirectly telling the opponent that they do not deserve to share the same plane of existence as him. Nebraska, you're up next, take notes.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- Everyone got their panties in a bunch over Indiana's throttling of Michigan State Saturday night. "What a statement game," people who I refuse to associate myself with are undoubtedly saying. If your statement is, "We can get a home win over a school that has lost to Penn State, Iowa and a D-II team with our coach's job on the line and the most raucous crowd of the season," well then yes, I suppose you made that statement. Now allow me to state that I can beat up most babies. I mean, good for Indiana, good for Eric Gordon who had 28 points and good for Kelvin Sampson who staved off the electric chair (or at least stoning by corn cob) for one night, but you won a home game against an equal team. That's what NCAA Tournament teams are supposed to do. Just because this particular season is void of more than say, eight teams that fit that description, doesn't mean the Hoosiers are headed to San Antonio. Especially when that win was their first notable victory of the season.

Foreshadowing of Chaos, Brought To You by Doom, Powered by The Book of Revelations- New feature where I look ahead to the new poll and predict some kind of insane display of mediocrity to occur. A success rate of more than five percent would be nice here. North Carolina will lose at NC State tonight. If you want a breakdown of the game, still replete with snark, read today's picks. Basically with the Lawson injury, NC State suddenly matches up pretty well with UNC. The Heels enormous advantage at point guard, the Pack's biggest weakness, is mostly erased and NC State's size and athleticism should make buckets hard to come by for UNC's similar parts. Look at the match-ups: Courtney Fells vs. Wayne Ellington; Gavin Grant vs. Marcus Ginyard; JJ Hickson vs. Tyler Hansbrough; Ben McCauley vs. Deon Thompson. I certainly don't see a huge advantage for the Heels. Will all that, plus homecourt, be enough to erase the 31 points NC State lost by in the first meeting? Who knows? The whole point of this post is that college basketball is insane! Weee! Other potential exhibits of awfulness: Xavier losing to Duquesne tomorrow night, Connecticut losing at Villanova Saturday, Wisconsin falling at Illinois tonight.

The Week In Chaos, February 19: Aggies Commit Voter Fraud, Hoyas Channel Tim Donaghy, Duke Appeases Nation

The Week In Chaos examines all of the absurd things that happened to Top 25 (AP Poll only, coaches don't know anything) teams in the previous week of college hoops. With this season being The Year Of Mediocrity, consider this a chronicling of all this misdeeds these supposedly high-caliber teams are guilty of. If this season is to be forgotten due to a lack of greatness, I feel it should be remembered for its abundance of greatlessness. See, I'm being positive!

This is part 1 of this week's edition with part 2 coming tomorrow. Why am I dividing one post into two parts? Because reading.writing about this much mediocrity in one sitting can significantly lower our national level of productivity. That and I want to make it look like I post more.

AP Top 25 teams going undefeated- 14. Memphis, UCLA, Tennessee, North Carolina, Butler, Texas, Xavier, Wisconsin, Connecticut, Purdue, Washington State, Louisville, Vanderbilt, St. Mary's.
AP Top 25 teams going winless- 2. Michigan State, Texas A & M.

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- Because Texas A & M is such a bad team, I should probably exclude it from The Week In Chaos on the grounds that the steaming pile of mediocrity they exhibit every week makes it too difficult for other teams to be included. But that would mean I don't get to make fun of how incredibly fraudulent A & M is. And losing to Oklahoma State at home is something very much worth ridiculing. You know, the Oklahoma State that had lost seven of nine going in and hadn't won a road game in TWO FREAKING YEARS. The Oklahoma State that was crushed by North Texas, Oral Roberts and Illinois this year. The Aggies, in some sick, sadistic cruelty to the consciousness of casual basketball fans everywhere who are being duped into thinking this team can win a tournament game (or, gasp, maybe two), are still ranked in No. 22 in both polls this week, (hopefully, getting annihilated by Texas last night will change that). They better pimp that win in the first game meeting with the Longhorns if they want any type of favorable seeding because A & M's best road win is against an eight-man Missouri team and its best win otherwise is against Ohio State way back in 2007. As a result of this fraudulence, the Aggies RPI (38) is nearly twice its national ranking (22), which should be enough to classify the Associated Press and Coaches' Association as terror organizations.

Most Narrow Avoidance of Mediocrity That Should Not Be Forgotten But Will Be- Lots of competition for this last week with Memphis escaping Baghdad UAB, UConn beating South Florida at the buzzer and Xavier squeaking by Charlotte, but, for all intents and purposes, Georgetown is VERY lucky to not have a home L to Villanova on its resume. Let's take another look at that absolutely awful foul call 70 feet from the basketball with under a second left that got the Hoyas the win, complete with play-by-play from clinically insane announcer Rich Chvotkin, who I'm going to assume is loosely affiliated with Georgetown University.

It's almost as if he was excited for the Hoyas win or something. Anyway, the Big East is inexplicably defending the call, which officially ended Villanova's season and kept Georgetown in line for a completely fraudulent two or three seed (let's not forget the officials handed them a game at West Virginia and they received some favorable calls late in the first Syracuse meeting), even with the loss to the Orange Saturday. By my count, G'Town has two quality wins, home against Notre Dame and Connecticut, one of which it won on a three-pointer by a 7-2 center. The Hoyas are ranked No. 64 in KenPom's luck rating, which says they are 1.1 wins better than their record, but I am counting 2.3*.
* made-up number

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- I was too busy watching Dwight Howard and LeBron James' continuing campaign to make normal (well as normal as someone with a blog can be) 22 and 23 year olds feel awful about their lives, but apparently Duke lost Sunday. To Wake Forest. By 13. Yes, that Wake Forest, the one making an intriguing at-large campaign but still losers to Charlotte (by 22), Georgia Tech (at home) and to Boston College (by 39 freaking points). Dino Gaudio and his freshman-led squad (top two scorers are froshes) might be a great story and Gaudio may be ACC Coach of the Year, but that still doesn't mean Duke, which had a legit stake at No. 1 before this game, should lose. To Wake Forest. By 13. The Blue Devils, who had won their previous 12 games by an average of 14.3 points per game and had a good shot at entering the ACC tourney with one loss, had every starter foul out Sunday (yes, even Zoubek had to step on the floor). Wake shot 38 free throws, giving irrational Duke fans a piece of evidence in the Duke Gets All the Calls debate that they will inevitably use for all of eternity. The Devils also had a season-high 22 turnovers and allowed the Deacons two freshmen, Jeff Teague and James Johnson to combine for 50 points. And worse yet, Pimp G was held to seven points and regained all of the punchability he had worked so hard to diminish.

The Week in Chaos: February 11

OK, this week wasn't so bad. I at least feel like it's safe to leave the house; we have staved off the apocalypse for a little while longer. But that doesn't mean some weird stuff didn't happen that should still make us question our existence. And yes (SPOILER ALERT), UCLA, who I had touted as the best team in the country last week, losing to freaking Washington is an example of some "weird stuff."

AP Top 25 teams going undefeated- 18. (Memphis, Duke, Kansas, Tennessee, Stanford, Butler, Michigan State, Texas, Xavier, Indiana, Drake, Texas A&M, Connecticut, Kansas State, Notre Dame, Vanderbilt, Purdue, St. Mary's)
AP Top 25 teams going winless- 1. (Marquette)

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- Ugh, this pains me. But seriously UCLA, after a precise destruction of Washington State on the Cougars home floor Thursday that felt like looking into the eyes of God (or at least the eyes of Erin Andrews), you simply cannot come back and lose to Washington. Yes, the same Washington that was pummeled by 25 by the unstoppable force that is Oklahoma State. The Bruins shot 34 percent (1-16 from three too... perhaps at that point you should stop shooting them), were outrebounded by 12 and still lost by 10 despite Washington missing 14 free throws. I suppose it's only fitting for The Year of Mediocrity that a team which had been absolutely eviscerating opponents in the best conference in the country -- a team that finally seemed to provide a stable output of high-level basketball -- would let us down just as we began to trust it. I'm not counting out the Bruins based on one performance, what I saw against Washington State still puts them as my favorite title contender, but this makes me a little unsure that they can avoid any sudden stinkbombs in March. Ah college hoops, you are a fickle mistress.

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- There is no shame in losing at Louisville, but Georgetown certainly could've done a better job of hiding their flaws in doing so Saturday. The Hoyas backcourt continues to struggle in maintaining any type of consistent scoring and it's starting to look like overcoming this weakness in March might not be a problem. Jessie Sapp and Johnathan Wallace, for all that they do well, have a strange tendency to occasionally disappear on the offensive end when Georgetown needs buckets. Against the Cardinals Sapp/Wallace were 4-15 combined (1-10 from three) and scored just nine points. Staying on the perimeter, DaJuan Summers, a guy most people had very high hopes for this year, has been a complete enigma. Despite his physical and athletic advantage on most opponents, he has been shooting a ton of threes (1-6 against Louisville) and seems to follow up his best games with some awful ones (he had 24 against South Florida the game before). Now it's highly possible the poor shooting was a result of Pitino's Vertigo-inducing suit -- I blacked out three times during the first half -- but Georgetown has really struggled to score the ball this season. It all adds up to a team that is supposed to be the class of the Big East but whose only good road win is a lucky one at West Virginia and only good home wins are against Notre Dame and Connecticut.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance- Despite being down 16-3 in the game, leaving hoops pundits across the country in a hot frenzy to denounce them to the NIT, Tennessee completely turned the tables on Florida last Tuesday and ended up winning by 22, dropping 60 in the second half. Now, Florida isn't a very good team, but it is exactly the type of team that will make you pay if you give it any bit of confidence. The Vols did just that, and then pounded the smile off the Gators' pre-pubescent faces. The Smith Named Tyler, The Smith Named JaJuan and Chris Lofton all had at least 23, reminding everyone that Tennessee may have more quality perimeter options than any team in the country (and will get to prove just that against Memphis next Saturday). They hit 13 threes and had 14 steals and appear to have locked up the SEC East title, unless Patrick Patterson can add nuclear weaponry to his one-man show at Kentucky.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- After Washington State lost three in a row at home and looked to be on its way out of the Top 25, I was ready as anyone to bury the Cougars. "They don't have consistent enough scoring;" "Their defense isn't as good as in years past;" "Robbie Cowgill and Aron Baynes may be homicidal vagrants." I've heard all the concerns. But I still didn't think there was any way they would lose to USC Saturday, AGAIN at home. So when they absolutely throttled the Trojans, held USC's non-freshmen to just 15 points and caused Tim Floyd to likely murder a hitchhiker on the way home from an ejection, I felt a calming return to normalcy in the Pac-10 (this was, of course, before UCLA lost to freaking Washington). How they build off this win will be very important for the Cougars seeding, which once looked like a two or a three but now may be hovering in the 5-8 range.

The Week In Chaos: February 4

In the spirit of the utterly chaotic and terrifyingly euphoric Super Bowl victory for my G-Men last night, The Week In Chaos makes its second appearance around these parts. While Saturday wasn't as chaotic as past Saturdays, the week was still a complete shitshow. Let's rubberneck, shall we?

AP top 25 teams going undefeated- 13 (Memphis, Duke, UNC, UCLA, Georgetown, Tennessee, Butler, Wisconsin, Stanford, Xavier, Drake, Marquette, Texas A&M)
AP top 25 teams going winless- 2 (Washington State, Baylor)

Most Ridiculous Display of Mediocrity- Michigan State, in a fierce effort to somehow outsuck a preseason loss to a D-2 school AND a 36-point effort against Iowa, lost to Penn State Saturday, 85-76. Yes the same Penn State team that lost the only player on its roster, Geary Claxton, that would even sniff minutes for Izzo's bunch. The same Penn State team that had lost six in a row going into that game and have been beaten by Central Florida this season. The Lions shot, are you sitting down?... 51 free throws in that game. They only made 34, which was still 13 higher than the Spartans attempted. I think Northwestern would have dropped 70 on the Spartans Saturday. As punishment, Tom Izzo prohibited his team's access to the locker room again, instantly proving to the boosters that he is the right man for the job. They then gave him 12 million dollars for his services. You just don't get discipline like that anywhere.

Most Embarrassing Realizations of Mediocrity- The SEC will probably dominate this category for the entire season. Florida, fresh off a destruction of equally mediocre Vanderbilt (which still is somehow ranked), got their asses handed to them Saturday at Arkansas. The Razorbacks are a good team but they should never be up 25 at half against anyone really, especially a "Top 25" team. The Gators shot 22-66 from the field and 4-25 from three. Mississippi lost to South Carolina at home last week and Mississippi State, which had just entered the Coaches' Poll, was also crushed by Arkansas last week in a fit of rage for actually being considered relevant momentarily.

Most Refreshing Display of Expected Dominance-Arizona is a solid team but they are still nowhere near the level of UCLA and it showed Saturday night in another of ESPN's Gameday crapfests. Sure, the Bruins lost to USC at home but losing another home game in the Pac-10 would have been pretty shocking. Instead they built their lead to 20 by half, completely taking Chase Budinger out of the game and dominating the paint. Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook probably could have played alongside three seventh graders and it would have been enough. This is starting to look like the frontrunner for the title.

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- This is my favorite category for The Week In Chaos because it implies that we should be surprised by teams winning games they should win. That's how weird this season has been. Texas A&M, before last week, had beaten absolutely no one of significance, so when Texas came to town Wednesday, I initially figured the Longhorns would win. I mean, the Aggies best win was either home against Alabama or the win over Ohio State at Madison Square Garden. But then I realized that a talented but mediocre team thrives off of these home games; wins that make them look much better on paper than they really are. So I figured the Aggies would win but I would brace myself for more crappiness. Well A&M destroyed a Texas team that suddenly looks very flawed. It was an 18-point game at halftime and the Aggies shut down DJ Augustin like UCLA could not. The result is that the Aggies are now No. 18 in the AP poll, despite still being pretty awful. Good for them(?).

You Know What? F- - - It, Good For Greg Paulus

I've always kinda been fascinated by the hatred for Duke. I hate them, I know that. And I know all the common gripes about the Dukies. But I'm not really sure why so many people hate them. With Duke-UNC coming up next week, I plan on writing about the rivalry a bit more, so I won't delve too deep right here, but I read the outstanding book To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever, by Will Blythe, and got a much better understanding of the rivalry and realized there was a difference between a UNC fan's hatred and a regular fan's hatred for Duke. And this year, because Duke is such a thrillingly efficient and unique team to watch, I kinda discarded my anger in honor of basketball appreciation.

And that brings me to Greg Paulus. Nobody likes Greg Paulus. If you have ever read my shallow pontifications, you know, basketball appreciation be damned, I hate Greg Paulus. Regardless of my newfound tolerance of Duke, I still hated the guy, probably because he wasn't any good. Amidst the fast-paced, spread the court, drive-and-kick offense and frantic, ball-pressure, we're-getting-every-rebound-even-though-we-are-all-midgets defense, Greg Paulus was still a plodding, turnover-prone, wobbly-ankled bitch. The reality was, though, he hasn't been that bad this season. His turnovers are way down, from over three per game his first two seasons to just 1.5 this year. He shot well from three last year, but is on pace to surpass even that total, while still shooting 42.5 percent. But that got him nothing. People remember him being embarrassed by Eric Maynor in the NCAAs last year (not that particular play), they saw the, ahem, liberal interpretation of a Florida State elbow earlier in the season, they saw this. And, more importantly, they saw that mopey face.

Now, it's no mystery in basketball that a lot of white people like to cheer for white players. I mean, the entire NBA season ticket structure is based on this dynamic. It tends to be more prevalent in middle-aged fans because they came from a time where white players were a lot more common. Or something. I don't know, I have a poster of Allen Iverson on my wall so I'm not really the best source for this. Basically, in most situations, people can relate to a familiar face and as a result, cheer for them. But, when you look at Duke and the hatred for those guys, you realize there's a bit of a twist to that. They might physically look like you, but they aren't a familiar face. Tyler Hansbrough might be. He's the guy down the street always in the driveway working on jump hooks. He could be your friend. JJ Redick is the asshole that dates your sister, cheats on her behind her back and then drops 40 the next day. He's not your friend. And Greg Paulus, well he's the guy you picked on in high school. Look at him. You wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with this guy. Even though he was a star athlete in high school, you didn't know him in high school. No matter what, he looks like the dweeb with asthma that couldn't dribble in gym class and when he steps on the court you treat him like that (it doesn't help that he sometimes plays like the dweeb with asthma that couldn't dribble in gym class). Greg Paulus is the Eli Manning of basketball.

Just like Eli had to follow in Peyton's giant footsteps, look at the Duke point guards of the past. All hated players, by the way. Bobby Hurley; Chris Collins; Steve Wojciechowski; Jeff Capel; Jason Williams; Chris Duhon. All of them either got NBA contracts or great coaching gigs. And as much as they were hated, they didn't back down and succeeded right in their face. It's probably safe to say, Greg Paulus will not be in the NBA and I don't think he'll be a coach. Finally we have someone who we can berate and he'll fail every time! I mean, his back-up, freshman Nolan Smith is even better than him.

That brings us to last night. With Duke down nine at half at home to a miserable NC State team, they needed someone to spark them. It hadn't been Gerald Henderson (who is suddenly really freaking good by the way), it hadn't been DeMarcus Nelson, hadn't been Kyle Singler. Then, out of nowhere, like a scene straight out Revenge of the Nerds, Paulus took over. He found Singler for a three, then hit two of his own back-to-back. A few plays later he knocked down another one, then blew the lid off the place with, perhaps the key play of Greg Paulus' entire career, a fancy, behind-the-head pass to Singler for a dunk. All of a sudden Greg Paulus had swagger (look at that picture above; I swear it's real). He finished with a season-high 22 points, five threes, three steals and six assists with, wait for it... zero turnovers. Duke won by 20. And perhaps most notably, he was jumping around the court, slapping the floor, enjoying the crowd. It was like two and a half years of being hated on and unable to prove the haters wrong had finally ended it one loud, asthmatic exultation. It was a catharsis. After the game the NC State players credited his pressure defense. Gavin Grant said he was trash-talking and throwing elbows! Greg Paulus! He used to ask permission before fouling someone! And like Eli Manning in the playoffs, Paulus showed some confidence. The kind of confidence that makes you think, "Hey, if we keep picking on this kid, he might just succeed in spite of us like all the other guys did." Before, for both of those guys, when fans saw their mopey faces after a turnover or bad play, they saw blood. The pipsqueak is starting to feel the heat. Not anymore.

Paulus is going to feel more heat than he could ever dream of when the Dukies head to Chapel Hill Wednesday. And like I am already, the UNC fans might want to prepare for a world where the Greg Paulus, the nerd, suddenly wants to fight back.

The Week In Chaos: January 28

Introducing a new, recurring post here on SSS, The Week In Chaos. Following suit with the completely inane craziness that was the college football season, the year in college hoops has been a complete mess, with the turning point being the week before last, in which 15 of the AP top 25 lost (thankfully, when this happens to hoops, our season actually ends in excitement). I thought it might just be an anomaly, that better basketball was on the horizon, that parity didn't necessarily have to mean mediocrity. I was wrong. Seriously, there are about 20 teams that actually deserve one of the 34 at-large bids that will be given out and only about five teams with a legitimate shot of winning the title without receiving some kind of divine intervention. Barring some Cinderella runs, there are only two non-BCS leagues, the A-10 and West Coast, guaranteed to get multiple bids. It goes on and on.

While this weekend wasn't as bad, it still continued the disturbing trend in what I am now calling The Year Of Mediocrity, which I will now chronicle every Monday, not out of want, but out of necessity. Who else will tell the story of our hoops apocalypse?

Here's the rundown of the past week...

AP Top 25 teams going undefeated- 13
AP Top 25 teams going winless- 5. Vanderbilt, Dayton, Ole Miss, Villanova, Arizona State.

Most Ridiculous Displays of Mediocrity- Pitt, a team that has beaten Duke and destroyed Georgetown, got crushed by Rutgers at home. Rutgers, which beat two top 20 teams last week (Villanova), has lost to St. Peter's, which is, in fact, a real team; they are 4-16 overall, 1-9 in the powerhouse that is the MAAC and are called the Peacocks. They were taken to Red Lobster after the victory.

Elsewhere, Dayton, a team that devastated the aforementioned beacons of mediocrity Pitt and also won at Louisville, got manhandled by the Richmond Spiders. Richmond has lost to Maryland-Baltimore County (America East), Norfolk State (MEAC, 8-9), Marist (MAAC, no longer have Jared Jordan, that white guy everyone liked so much) and LaSalle (A-10, 7-11) this year. Dayton went from a potential No. 4 seed to squarely on the NCAA Bubble as they have now lost three straight and are below .500 in conference. They don't have freshman Chris Wright and Charles Little, two solid contributors, but seriously, you just can't give up 80 points to Richmond, (289th in possessions per game, 219th in offensive efficiency, never learned how to dribble).

Most Embarrassing Realization of Mediocrity- Vanderbilt, a team that was among the last of the unbeatens, a team that should have been in the Elite Eight last year and by all accounts improved, now sucks. Case in point, after 12 minutes of yesterday's "game" against Florida, a team that hasn't even hit puberty yet, the Dores were down 34-6 and lost by 22. Andrew Ogilvy has been doing his best Luc Longley lately, failing to reach his average in four straight games. After going 16-0, they are 2-3 in conference and are set up perfectly for one of those How In the Hell Did Vandy Get Into the Sweet 16 Again?-type performances.

Most Refreshing Exhibition of Expected Dominance- Kansas massacred Nebraska... again. The Jayhawks led by 29 at half and won by 35. You know, like they were supposed to. This appears to be the best team in the country, despite being coached by Bill Self, who has a clause in his contract to always underachieve come tournament time.

Most Refreshing Exhibition of Expected Dominance (Non Kansas/Memphis Division)- This could be filed under "Unexpected" but it's a top 10 preseason team that is finally healthy: Louisville. They have won six of seven and by simply crushing South Florida and St. John's, teams they were supposed to crush, have taken the Clusterfuck That Is The Big East by storm. That's all it takes. But seriously, doesn't this team remind you of Georgetown last year? Took about half a season to get healthy and in gear and the superior talent begins to shine through. Somehow they aren't ranked in either poll this week, but it appears Final Four aspirations aren't insane given the fews teams in the country that actually have a cohesive unit of good players and are well coached. (Now watch as they are destroyed by UConn tonight).

Most Unexpected Victory That Probably Should've Been Expected Anyway- THE DRAKE!!! Got to loooovvvvveeeeeThe Drake. And even though they were supposed to beat Northern Iowa at home Saturday and barely did, the simple fact that an overachieving team can actually sustain its level of success for a full week, is pretty darn impressive. If The Drake had been crushed by Northern Iowa no one would've blinked, especially after Tuesday's overtime victory at Creighton. In the Year Of Mediocrity, merely avoiding an upset counts as a huge step forward. This team, which was picked ninth in the preseason Valley poll, is now 9-0 in conference and probably a lock for an at-large even if they falter in the league tourney. Creighton gets another shot at The Drake Wednesday, and I think all The Drake needs to do to remain above Mediocrity is not get blown out. Yes it's that bad.

Wednesday's Picks

Because the best way to feign actual knowledge on a subject is an accurate prediction, I introduce The Picks. Every weekday, Monday-Thursday (hopefully) I will pick the televised games of the night, against the spread of course, and follow the results to see if I actually know something about basketball. The results should be both entertaining (for readers) and soul-crushing (for me). And if I'm wrong, I'll just do what all the TV "experts" do: never bring it up again and avoid all accountability. And since I won't be betting actual money (that often), I win every time!

I'll also be picking against one of my roommates, Craig, so we can have a rational method of settling all disputes involving rent, household matters, etc.

Last Night: First shutout of the year. In what I am now referring to as the Year of Mediocrity, Wisconsin, a top 15 team, struggled with a 5-13 Michigan team at home. I am pretty convinced there is no in-conference, BCS-league match-up in the country where the spread should be over 15 right now. And to just hammer home the theme of complete and utter lawlessness in college hoops right now, Tennessee, which was playing as well as any team in the damn country coming into last night's game, lost at 7-9 Kentucky by eight. The Cats somehow got the Vols to slow the tempo, even though no one else on Tennessee's incredibly tough schedule could. It's a complete apocalypse of reason in college basketball. And this is all without Vitale!

No picks from Craig today. We all suffer as a result.

Iowa State at Kansas (-24) - Yeah so about that whole not picking a team giving more than 15 points thing? The Jayhawks are obliterating folks lately and are probably the one BCS team most likely to cover a gigantic spread like this. They beat Oklahoma at home last week by 30 and beat Iowa State by 37 at home last season. If you do the math, they should beat the Clones by about 89 this year. But here's the thing. Iowa State isn't terrible. I know, it's blasphemous to say so, but the Cyclones have won nine of their last 11 with wins over a Missouri team Kansas just struggled with, an Oklahoma State team Texas just struggled with and, most importantly, at Purdue. They aren't going to win tonight, but there's precedent for them not to be embarassed. In the Year of Mediocrity, not even Kansas can cover 24. Anywhere. (I just bet against Kansas at home, I'm doomed.)
The Pick: Iowa State

Georgia Tech at North Carolina State (-2.5) - Man, this will be a boring fucking game. Seriously, there is no excuse to watch this game. Actually, the only reason to watch this game is if you need to use it as an excuse.

Chick: Honey, let's go ice skating and afterwards we can meet my parents at a coffee shop and talk for five hours.

You: Um, nah, I can't. Gotta watch the Georgia Tech-North Carolina State game. Mike Patrick's voice is the new preferred method of anger management. After listening to him, it's impossible to hate anything else.

Yeah, so Vegas is obviously scared of the Jackets after that UNC near-win, plus the Pack are 3-10-1 ATS this year. But NC State actually has some solid home wins (Miami, Davidson, gasp, the Dragonslayer That Is Cincinnati) and are 7-2 against G Tech in the last nine meetings. It should be close because both teams' strength is up front, but in The Year Of Mediocrity, I'll take the homecourt.
The Pick: NC State

Last night's record: 0-2
Overall record: 8-9-1

ACC: 1-1
Big 12: 1-2-1
Big East: 2-2
Big Ten: 1-1
SEC: 1-2
Missouri Valley: 1-0
West Coast: 1-1

Craig's record: 1-3-1

The End Is Near: Everyone Loses

Well this certainly was an interesting weekend. Between a friend's purchase of RockBand, the ensuing four hours of bliss that accompanied said purchase and the Giants euphoric, soul-torturing victory yesterday, I didn't watch too much basketball. I saw my Syracuse squad indulge Villanova in a 40-minute practice against zone defenses (GUARD THE DAMN BASELINE), the end of Maryland's insanely improbable, tears-inducing victory over UNC (boo-hoo Heels fan, you're 18-1) and I seem to remember a bit of that Florida-Kentucky game. But otherwise that's it, and as I look back at the scores, I realize I missed on what turned out to be college hoops Armageddon, with upsets galore, a complete lack of consistency, a horrific display of parity and most importantly, a hell of a lot of excitement. Let's recap, shall we?

- Of the Top 25 teams in the AP poll, the following went undefeated last week: Memphis, Kansas, Duke, Tennessee, Washington State, Indiana, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Texas and Villanova. That's 10 out of 25 teams, the supposed "best" in the country. And the Longhorns only game last week was a two-point home win over lowly Colorado.

- North Carolina and UCLA both lost at home to unranked opponents. UNC lost to Maryland, which has lost to Ohio and American this season. UCLA lost to USC, which, despite its talent, has still lost to Mercer.

- The Big East is in complete shambles. Only Nova, Georgetown and Seton Hall went 2-0 last week. Cincinnati and DePaul, both of which have nine losses, are tied for second place in the league at 4-2. The Bearcats have lost to Belmont, Bowling Green and St. John's this season. The Blue Demons started 2-7 with losses to North Carolina A & T (7-9, MEAC, !) and Illinois-Chicago. They are ahead of NINE teams that have six losses or less.

- Looking at the RPI over at Kenpom.com, here are some completely flabbergasting sights. St. Mary's is No. 7. Six-loss Arizona is No. 9. The Drake is No. 14, one behind UCLA. South Alabama is No. 28

- All three ranked A-10 teams lost last week. Xavier got destroyed by Temple. Dayton lost big at home to UMass and Rhode Island lost to St. Louis, a team that scored 20 points in a game and has an oft-naked coach.

- Joe Lunardi's bracketology is a mess. He has NINE Big East teams, yes the same Big East which just had its mediocrity exposed two paragraphs ago, in the tournament. The SEC and A-10 both have four. The SEC, one of the greatest athletic conferences in sports history has the same amount of bids as the A-10, which just had a team score 20 freaking points in a game. Besides the A-10 he has only three non-BCS leagues with two bids and he's assuming Butler doesn't win the Horizon. And Illinois State, the non-Drake team in the Valley, is his 64th team.

Everyone's been talking about parity in college basketball for awhile now, but it's been completely insane this season, with Saturday's pandemonium capping it off. The result is lots of fun for us and not too much for the Selection Committee, which will have its toughest job ever this season. After the top 10 teams, there are about 40 with extremely similar resumes and judging by the early conference play carnage, the league tournaments will probably cloud the situation even further (Cincinnati or DePaul are going to win the Big East, I'm sure of it). Plus, with many of the usual mid-major mainstays (the Valley, CAA, Mountain West and WAC, specifically) having down seasons with their multi-bid chances looking increasingly weaker, the committee is probably going to have about 15 middle-of-the-pack, uninspiring BCS teams to fit into about five tournament spots.

And to think, all of this is going on without the most irrational force in college basketball, Dick Vitale, nowhere to be found, completely unable to audibly express his gibberish-laced surprise. But in a season that makes no sense it makes perfect sense for Vitale to be absent; Satan has had his minions carry out the apocalypse for him.

St. Louis Decides To Slow It Down... Considerably

This just ended, and a mere glance at the final score had me racing to my computer.

George Washington 49, St. Louis 20 FINAL

Yes, that is real. If you remember earlier in the week, everyone